Page 23 of Crystal Iris
“I don’t know. That’s what happened the first time, but…”
It has to work.The thought of not knowing is driving me insane. Aaron went back to work this week, and without him or work to distract me, I’m a basket case. I can’t eat or sleep. My mind’s on a loop.
“What if it takes you somewhere else?” she asks.
“I guess it could… But I think… It should be okay if it does. I’m invisible there.”
“What do you mean? I thought you said he saw you.”
“I’m not sure he did. When I looked at my hands, there was nothing.”
She shakes her head, trying to understand. “What are you going to do if you find him?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t think that far. I just need to know why. There’s got to be a reason the prism took me there, to him. It can’t be random, not after knowing he’s real,” I say, fishing out my pine tree candle.
“And how do I get you to… come back?” She looks stressed.
“I have no idea. After I blacked out, I woke up at your place.”
I roll out my yoga mat.
“Iris, I don’t know about this… Maybe we should have someone else here, too.”
“No, nobody can know,” I say, filling up a glass of water.
Akira takes the longest breath.
“If I don’t come back in ten minutes, start shaking me,” I tell her.
I sit on the floor of my apartment, surrounded by boxes. I close my eyes to keep from being distracted by the mess. I take a few deep breaths. Akira sits across from me, phone in hand to track the time. I lift the glass of water and dunk my prism in it.
“Now,” I say to Akira.
She lights the candle. “Ten minutes,” she says. I nod.
I hold the prism in my hand and bring it closer to the fire. Just like the first time, I feel the urge to stop myself. I have to fight the feeling. I have to keep going. I have to get it closer to the flame. I close my eyes again and think of Hoyt—his green eyes winking at me before walking away at the party, his handshake,and the heat from it.
My pendant fights my hand as I force myself to keep imagining Hoyt, pushing my instincts aside, getting so close to the candle italmost burns my fingers. The prism starts to spin, and I watch it while focusing on my breathing, telling myself I’m safe, I’m not alone. My entire body tingles, and I black out.
When I can see again, I’m not home anymore. I’m not in the same place as before, either. I’m outdoors, in the snow.I should be cold, I note. Apparently, I have no physical sensations here. I look again, searching for my body, but I can’t see myself. I look around—I’m alone. Tall trees, covered in white layers, surround me.
“Easy boy…” I hear the familiar voice and follow it to the barn. I don’t know how I’m moving without legs. I hear a horse neigh. I keep moving until I spot… him.
Hoyt looks very different from the last time I saw him. He’s messy, a little dirty, and dressed in heavy winter gear. The jacket is so thick I wonder how long he’s been outdoors. Does he live here? I eye him from head to toe—his boots are covered in snow. There’s something intrusive about being close to him without… permission.
In front of him, a horse struggles to stay still. I know nothing about horses, but this one doesn’t seem ordinary. Its coat is black, not brown, not even a speck of another color—completely black. Beautiful.
Hoyt seems to be doing something with the animal’s hoof, completely unaware that I’m here, watching them. Again, I try to speak, but no voice comes out. I move closer, but the horse goes still. Its brown eyes lock in my direction.What is it seeing?
Hoyt follows the horse’s gaze, and when he sees it too, he stands up, his eyes wide open. What are they seeing? I look down and around until I spot, through the reflection in the window behind them… a violet light, hanging midair.My prism’s light.
Hoyt steps closer, hand extended in front of him, as if he wants to touch me, only I realize I’m not me. He wants to touch the brightness.I am the light.
I don’t move. I want to feel his touch. Will I be able to feel it ifI don’t have a body? I prepare myself for his hand when someone else grabs my shoulders.
Akira is shaking me, almost violently. I have to yell for her to stop.
“I’m sorry, you were…” she walks to the kitchen.
