Page 15 of Never Have I Ever
If it were anyone else, they would jump at the opportunity, but seeing her standing at my doorstep, asking to ruin her goodness, I can’t do it.
6
A deal’s a deal
Rosalie
“What do you mean you can’t do it?”
I narrow my eyes at him, but he’s not meeting my eyes. His head is down, eyes locked on the paper still in his hands. My face heats up, my body flushing with heat at the thought of him staring at that list, knowing he just rejected me.
He finally meets my eyes, and his brows knot together as he sighs and drops his head again, shaking it. “I’m sorry. I just can’t.”
I don’t get it. I thought he would have no issue with it. He’s done everything on this list, so why can’t he help me do the same?
“But… why?” I ask.
He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even look at me while he takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up. I stare dumbfoundedly at him, watching as he brings the lit cigarette to his lips, inhales, and then turns his head to the side and blows the smoke out.
He’s avoiding the question. Avoiding looking at me. I don’t understand. From what I’ve heard about him, he doesn’t care about anything, let alone have morals, so why is he rejecting me?
Unless… “Oh,” I say. “Are you not…” I breathe out a nervous laugh. “Are you not attracted to me?”
This finally gets his attention, making his head snap up, his narrowed eyes on mine as he stares at my face, frozen in place. “What?” he asks.
I take a step back, feeling my whole body shiver as embarrassment floods me. I don’t know why I just assumed he’d be up for it. “I didn’t think,” I whisper, wanting to slap myself for coming up with this yesterday. “I just assumed. If you’re not attracted to me, it’s fine. I’m sorry for bothering you,” I mumble, turning on my heels and rushing away.
“Wait.”
I don’t. I can’t. I know my face must be all blotchy and red by now. I walk faster, my feet barely hitting the ground as I reach for the gate.
“Rosalie. Wait.”
My hand stills on the metal gate. I slowly look behind my shoulder, seeing Grayson standing behind me. “You know my name?” I ask.
He nods, gesturing with his head to the house. “Aiden.”
“Right.”
He blows out a breath, starting to shake his head again before I can even say anything. “Rosalie,” he husks out. “Look at me.” I slowly lift my eyes until they meet his. “It’s not that I’m not attracted to you,” he says, taking a step closer to me. Strands of his black hair fall onto his face as his dark eyes look down at me. “I am.”
I suck in a breath. He is? “Then why won’t you help me?”
He lifts his head, his eyes closing as he runs a hand through his hair, looking exasperated.
Realization dawns on me. “Was that your girlfriend?” I ask him. From what I’ve heard about him, Grayson doesn’t do the girlfriend thing. It seems like he’s a hook-up kind of guy, perfect for what I’m asking for.
“No,” he says. “I don’t have a girlfriend. I just… This doesn’t seem like it’s you.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You don’t even know me.” This is the first conversation we’re having. He just learned my name less than ten minutes ago, and now he thinks he knows who I am?
“Well? Am I wrong?”
I let my eyes fall, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. “No,” I whisper. He’s not wrong. This isn’t me. But that’s exactly why I want to do this. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I need this.
“Then why do you want to change that?” he asks.
A sigh escapes my lips as I think about everything I wrote on the list he’s got in his pocket. “I feel like I don’t belong,” I tell him. “I feel… left out. Like I’m not in on this huge joke. Everyone our age has done these.”
