Page 16 of Never Have I Ever
“It doesn’t mean you have to,” he replies.
“I want to,” I say, lifting my head to look at him.
His brow raises in questioning. “Do you?” he asks. “Because if you’re just trying to prove it to someone—”
“This isn’t about anyone else. I want to prove it to myself.”
“Prove what?” he asks, furrowing his brows,
“That I’m more than this. That I can be like everyone else,” I say, shrugging. “I want to do what I want for a change instead of doing what my mother expects of me.”
“And what does this list have anything to do with that?”
“I want more, Grayson,” I tell him, loving how the side of his lips lift in a small smirk at the sound of me saying his name. “I want to get drunk, go to parties, have some fun and danger for once in my life. I’ve missed out on so much that normal teenagers do, and I don’t want to miss out on anymore. I want my college life to be as eventful as I can make it before I’m forced to marry a rich husband and have kids that will be raised by maids.” I let out a breath, letting go of everything I’ve kept inside. Everything I wanted to say.
He blinks, staring back at me for a while. “That’s what this is about?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
He’s gone back to being quiet. I don’t know what he’s about to say, but I have a feeling he’s going to say no again. I regret coming here. Making that list and spilling my guts to a stranger was a mistake. I don’t know what else I can say to convince him. How can I get him to agree?
“I can pay you,” I blurt out.
He raises an eyebrow. “I’m not a prostitute.”
I clamp my mouth shut. Jesus, I’m a trainwreck today. “I… I know it’s just.” I sigh, shaking my head. “I’m sorry. I know there’s nothing in it for you, and you don’t even know me, so why would you possibly—"
“I’ll help you.”
My eyes widen. “You will?”
“This might be a mistake,” he says with a smirk. “But I’ll help you.” I can’t help my face heating up as a smile spreads across my face. He smiles too, but then it drifts as he sighs. “But.”
“But?” I ask him warily.
“No sex.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “I can’t do that. It would be like taking advantage of you.”
I erupt into laughter. “Taking advantage? I’m asking you.” I’m practically begging him to do everything on that list.
“Yes. But you’re naïve. You don’t know any better.”
My face drops as I take a step back from him. “I’m not naïve.”
“Shit. Rosie,” he says, closing the distance between us again. “I didn’t mean… I don’t want you to sleep with someone just to check it off and toss it as an experiment. You should do that when you’re ready. You should wait until there’s someone you trust and like, not just ask the first guy you see just because you think he’ll do anything without a second thought.”
A frown forms on my face. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. I thought he’d be up for it. I never actually thought he’d care about my feelings in all of this. “I thought—”
“I know.” He nods. “I get it. But that doesn’t mean I’ll do it. Those are my terms,” he says. “I’ll help you with all of the other stuff you want to do.”
He’ll help me. Even if he won’t do everything, he’ll help me. “Okay,” I say. “I accept.”
A small smile appears on his face. “Do you have your phone with you?” he asks.
“Yeah, why?”
