Page 21 of Never Have I Ever
She’s quiet for a minute, but then she finally speaks up. “That’s it?”
“Yeah, I did tell you.”
I glance towards her again, and she’s frowning. A small downward curve to her lips makes my jaw clench. She’s disappointed. Of course, she is; that’s all I ever do. I let people down. She shouldn’t have confided in me or asked me for help. I don’t help. All I do is destroy.
“I thought we were… you know, going somewhere.”
“Like a date?” I ask her, anticipating her answer. I have to let her down gently. If she thought this would end up with us in love and shit, I need to let her know that’s never going to happen.
“No, I mean… no?” She sighs. “I don’t know what this is exactly. Like, what are we doing here?”
She’s just confused. That I can deal with. “We’re friends,” I tell her. “We’re not dating or sleeping together. I’m just helping you.” I hope that didn’t sound too harsh. I don’t want to hurt her. She’s too good for that. I don’t want her to get false expectations, wanting something that’s never going to happen between us.
“Okay,” she says. “So we’re really just going to drive?”
I smile. “You see the handle up there,” I say, pointing to the ceiling handle.
“Yeah?”
“Use it,” I tell her and press my foot down on the accelerator.
“Grayson!” she yells as the car speed up, faster and faster, through the street.
We’re on a highway, and it’s pretty empty around this time of night, so we won’t be crashing into anyone.
“What the hell are you doing?” she gasps. Her eyes are shut, and one of her hands holds on to the handle while the other clutches my arm as if she needs to hold on for safety.
I’ll keep her safe. I promise. I never want to hurt her. I just want to show her a little fun.
“You said you wanted to see how Grayson Carter lives,” I tell her, raising my voice above the music and the wind blowing in through the window. I press my foot harder on the acceleration, feeling the car move faster and faster down the highway.
The euphoric feeling of adrenaline crashes into my veins, making me feel alive. This is what I needed, and I’m sharing it with Rosie. She's no longer screaming, which makes me smile. Her eyes are still closed, though. Her mouth moves as she mumbles under her breath, probably praying.
I can’t help but laugh. “Open your eyes,” I tell her, but she shakes her head and grips tighter on the handle. I slow down a little, and her grip loosens. “Open your eyes, angel,” I say.
She does this time. Her eyes snap open as she focuses on the road in front of her, the blurry view from the side rushing past as the car moves. I press my foot down on the accelerator, making it a little faster, and she gasps.
“You’re going to kill us,” she says, but she’s not closing her eyes.
“Come on, Rosie. I’ll keep you safe. I promise. Live life on the wild side with me.”
She laughs at that. The sound hits me right in the chest, making me tear my eyes off the road to glimpse at the pure joy on her face. Her eyes are wrinkled, and her smile is wide as she continues to laugh and laugh and laugh… until she’s crying.
“Fuck.” I ease my foot off the accelerator and slowly bring the speed down. She’s crying. I fucked up, I always do.
“Rosie,” I say, reaching for her hand. “Angel, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She’s shaking her head, her tears streaming down her face. “You didn’t.” Huh? I’m even more confused. Why is she crying then? She wipes her tears with her hand and then turns to face me. She’s smiling. Her smile is wide and so beautiful. “I’m crying because I’m happy. I’m so happy. Thank you.”
I let out a breath of relief. Thank fuck I didn’t scare her. I should be focusing on the road, but I can’t help but look at her face as she smiles at me and looks at me with adoration. She shouldn’t be. I’m a mess, a fuck up, and she’s looking at me like I’m her savior right now.
I reach over and grip her small, delicate fingers in my hand. Interlocking our hands and squeezing. She lets out a small gasp, and I turn to face her. “You have nothing to thank me for,” I tell her because it’s true. I haven’t done anything special for her. I just took her to experience a little danger and some adrenaline.
I realize how thankful she is for this small gesture when she squeezes my hand back and sighs. For me, it’s small, but for her, it’s huge. She let go and lived in the moment, which I’m sure isn’t something she’s ever done.
I pull my hand away from hers and grab the steering wheel, taking the exit to a familiar location.
I keep driving along the road, the view making me gulp. I haven’t been here in so long since…
