Page 25 of Never Have I Ever
Rosalie
I step out of the car and close the door behind me.
Grayson stands in front of the car, holding a blanket. He opens it up and places it on the floor, sitting on it. I step towards him and sit next to him.
I know he said this wasn’t a date, but this feels a lot like a date. I won’t bring it up, though, especially since he seemed relieved when I accepted this wasn’t a date.
He’s looking out at the view. It’s gorgeous from up here. I don’t even know what part of Pennsylvania this is, but it looks like something out of a painting. We’re high up on this hill, and it looks out onto a patch of green. So much grass. I’ve lived in New York all my life. All I have been subjected to are buildings and skyscrapers. I have never seen something so beautiful as this.
“Wow,” I say. “It’s so beautiful here.”
He nods, taking out another cigarette from his pocket. I’d hated the taste when I’d smoked. It burnt my throat and made me feel fuzzy. I don’t know how he does it. “I used to come here a lot as a kid.”
It’s one of the first things he’s told me about himself. I soak it up like it’s a rare commodity to know anything about Grayson Carter. I’m starting to think he doesn’t share much about himself with anyone, and I feel grateful that he’s willing to let me in.
“With your parents?” I ask.
I don’t know much about his relationship with his parents, other than that he caught his dad cheating on his mom, which is awful.
He shakes his head but doesn’t elaborate. He doesn’t say anything else other than take another smoke. I guess sharing time is over. He’s shut down again.
“So, why did you bring me here?”
He blows out smoke and shrugs. “I don’t know, honestly,” he says. “I saw the exit and figured I’d come here, and you were with me, so...” he exhales. “I haven’t been here in a while.”
I expect him to tell me something else, but he doesn’t. I get it. We don’t really know each other, so it’s not like I expect him to open up to me about everything in his life. But I’ve been telling him about mine. Whenever he asks, I tell him everything.
I guess I am naïve in a way. I had no problem getting into his car and letting him drive me wherever he wanted. At least he brought me somewhere with a nice view. It really is beautiful up here.
I should be more wary. After spending so long being trapped in my house, I should be scared to be out with someone I barely know, but I’m not. I crave to spend more time with him, for him to teach me everything he knows and bring me intohisworld.
“Can we keep this a secret?” I ask him. His eyes widen as he looks at me. “I mean, if that’s okay with you? I don’t want anyone to know about this.” I laugh nervously. “It’s a little embarrassing.”
I look up at him, seeing his throat bob a little. “Who would I tell?” he asks before a small smirk forms on his face. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”
I nod, loving how I’m in on this big secret that no one else knows. It would be way too hard to explain exactly what Grayson and I are doing. Sometimes I don’t have the answer myself. My friends have no idea, and I don’t think his friends have any idea either.
Who are his friends? I know he and Aiden Pierce are close, being roommates and all, but does he have any other friends?
From what I’ve heard, Grayson has a lot of friends of the opposite sex, but not many girlfriends, or any for that matter. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t believe in love, which would explain why he wouldn’t want a relationship.
I know if it was any other girl asking him for what I did, he would have no reservations over it and would say yes in a heartbeat. So, what is it about me that’s so different? He’s said before that he’s attracted to me, so why did he say no? I should ask him, I should ask why he doesn’t want to be with me in that way, but he’s willing to help me with everything else.
I mean, there is nothing in it for him. He gets nothing out of this arrangement, and I get everything out of it. I get the college experience I have desired ever since I left my mother’s house and came to Redfield. I get to live life like Grayson Carter and forget that I’m Rosalie Whitton, even if it’s just for a minute.
“Why did you agree to help me?” I ask him.
He furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… you get nothing out of this. I offered for us to do something else that would be beneficial for both of us,” I say, feeling heat rise to my cheeks. “But you refused. So why help me at all?”
He laughs under his breath, shaking his head. “I don’t know. Let’s just say you surprised me.”
“Surprised you how?”
He shrugs. “In a lot of ways. The way you’re so good and kind, yet you want to live the life of someone who’s not.” He blows out smoke and stares out at the view in front of him. “You want to live like Grayson Carter,” he muses. “I don’t even know what that means.”
“It means I want to live life,” I tell him. “You do that. I mean, look at you.”
