Page 105 of Spin The Bottle
“So, you played me.”
I shake my head. “He just wanted your number. That was it. In the beginning, I knew nothing about you, I didn’t know, Leila.” She shakes her head, not looking at me. “When I first met you, I didn’t know you were going to be this important to me.” I stare into those lime green eyes that I love so much filled with tears. I did that. I hurt her. “You’ve got to know I would never hurt you.”
“You hurt me more than anyone else,” she says, slicing through my heart. “I trusted you with every part of me. God, I’m such an idiot.” She closes her eyes, placing her fingers to her forehead. “I can’t believe it happened again.”
“No.” I grab her hand in mine. “I didn’t play you, Leila. It was real. All of it was real to me. How do you not see that? I told you about my family. I told you about everything. You are the only person I trust in this whole damn world. How would you ever think I would do something like that?”
“Because you did!” she yells, ripping her hand from mine and taking a step back. “You went along with it. You pursued me, chased me. I blatantly asked you what you got out of it and you said nothing.” She laughs, more tears spilling out. “And I believed you. I genuinely believed you liked me.”
“I do!” I yell throwing up my arms. “Jordan told me to get your number. That’s it. That’s all I was supposed to do. He didn’t tell me to kiss you, or to sleep with you, or to fucking fall in love with you!”
“Don’t,” she warns, her voice cracking. “Don’t you dare say that to me. You have no right to say those words.”
“I love you, Leila. I am so in love with you. How do you not see that?”
“I don’t believe you.” She glares at me. “I don’t trust you anymore, Aiden. Why would I ever believe you?”
“Because I’m telling the truth. You’re the only person I have ever loved, the only one who has made me feel safe.” I watch as her breathing quickens. “I love you.”
She shakes her head. “No, you don’t. You’re just trying to save your ass.” She walks past me, and I try to reach for her, but she moves out of the way, not bothering to look at me as she walks off.
She stops and looks back over her shoulder. “You are the worst mistake I have ever made.”
Those words hit me like a knife as I watch her walk out of my life. But not out of my heart.
39
Never again
The smell of alcohol and sweat overwhelm my senses as I make my way to the makeshift bar, pouring myself another drink. The burn of the alcohol burns my throat and I let out a deep breath, closing my eyes and trying to shake off the memories that have been haunting every part of me for days.
Why is it so hard to forget? I don’t want to sit here and think about everything that went wrong, I don’t want to remember the sweet words he said, his hands on my body, his lips on my skin when it was all a lie.
My eyes catch on a couple dancing together, her arms wrapped around his neck as she smiles sweetly up at him. I swallow down my own jealousy and stupidity for thinking I could ever have that.
I turn back around, downing the rest of the drink, wanting, craving the burn, hoping the numbness will make the pain fade, make me forget even if it’s just for a little while. I haven’t had a drink in so long, since quitting for Aiden, and even though my stomach cramps, feeling guilty for breaking that promise to him, he broke an even bigger one.
My body tenses when a hand lands on my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. I look behind my shoulder at Gabi standing behind me. My stomach drops when her eyes look at me with the one thing I hate the most. Pity. It’s etched on her face as she shoots me a sad smile. “Are you okay?”
I close my eyes, letting out a hard sigh. “I’m fine.” I can hear the lie in my own voice; I can hear how rough the words are coming out of my mouth. Her hand tightens on my shoulder and I look back at her. She doesn’t look convinced, glancing at Madi who’s frowning at me.
“I thought you quit drinking,” she says.
I shrug, throwing the empty cup in the trash. “Guess not.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to just go home and talk?”
I hate talking. What is there to talk about? How I was stupid and let myself fall for another guy who was just using me for his personal gain, for fun, for… whatever he was using me for? “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“It’s been four days, Leila,” Madi says. “You need to wallow.”
My heart beats even faster at her words. “Four days since what?”
“Leila.”
“I need another drink.” I grab another drink and tip the cup back. I walk away from them, hoping they just let me go and don’t hound me about whatever it is I’m doing. I don’t even know the answer to that myself. I don’t want to think. I don’t want to feel.
I push past the crowd, the music getting louder the closer I get. But when I look up, I don’t hear anything. I don’t see anything but the person in front of me. My heart starts to race when I look at the black cap on his head, the white t-shirt clung to his tall and hard body. I know how it feels under my fingers, I know how it presses against my skin when he’s inside me.
