Page 118 of Spin The Bottle
After a few minutes, she sighs. “I’m sorry Jordan did that to you.”
Well, now’s as good a time as ever. “He didn’t.”
A few seconds tick by. “What do you mean?”
“I uploaded them, Leila,” I say, blowing out a breath.
“What?” she says breathily. “Why?”
I barely know the answer myself, just that I needed to do it. “I had nothing else to lose,” I tell her. “Basketball was the one thing I thought meant everything to me, but it felt dull and pointless. It wasn’t worth losing you.”
“Aiden.”
“Nothing was a lie, Leila,” I blurt out, squeezing my eyes shut. “Nothing. Jordan manipulated me. I played right into his hands and did exactly what he wanted. I should have done this from the start, I should have let him release the pictures and say fuck it.”
I hear the sharp intake of a breath from the other end and continue, throwing my heart on the line. “Basketball was my priority and I would have done anything to protect that. I wanted people to respect me here, and that wouldn’t have happened if everyone found out the truth. But I didn’t know what his intentions were.”
I shake my head, hoping she believes me. “He wanted your number. I didn’t even know you back then, I just thought this loser—whoever he was—just wants a shot with a girl he can’t have. It was easy to do in exchange for keeping my reputation intact. But the more time I spent with you…” I trail off, letting out a harsh breath. “Everything that happened between us had nothing to do with him. It was us. All fucking us. Nothing was a lie.”
She’s quiet for so long, I pull back to check she hasn’t hung up. “How do I know I can trust you?” she asks.
I run my hand down my face. “I’ve given up everything just for the possibility that you would know I wasn’t lying to you. I can’t tell you to trust me, that’s your decision to make, all I’m asking is to believe that I would never hurt you on purpose. I didn’t sleep with you or kiss you to save my ass, I did it because I liked you. I did it because I love you.”
She sucks in a breath, and I force myself to continue. “I don’t even know where to go from here or what’s going to happen. People aren’t going to look up to me anymore, that’s for sure.” I let out a sigh. “They know I’m a nobody now.”
“You’re not a nobody,” she says, my chest aching for her.
“I don’t even care about that,” I admit. “I don’t care what they think of me.” I press my lips together, my hand squeezing the phone. “I only care what you think of me.” I open my eyes, wishing she was in front of me, wishing I could look into her beautiful eyes and say this. “You’re the only one who really knows me.”
“You know me too,” she says with a harsh breath. “Better than I know myself.”
I smile, picturing her. “I know,” I tell her. “I know how much you love cats and wish you had one of your own. I know how much you love those disgusting candies but never let yourself have them.” I pause, gulping. “I know how much I hurt you. And how you think I did exactly what your prick of an ex-boyfriend did.”
“Aiden.”
“I know how much you love your dad,” I continue. “He’s right, you know. Eres una tigresa.” She lets out a laugh at my bad Spanish pronunciation. “So confident,” I say, remembering how scared she was to do that photoshoot and did it anyway. I’ve always admired how she seemed to do whatever she wanted, even if it scared her to sometimes. “So fearless, and so strong.” I swallow. “But tigers are also warm-hearted, soft. They’re sensitive and emotional and capable of great love.”
I let my eyes drift closed. “You deserve that great, huge, earth-shattering love, Leila,” I say. “And I’m willing—dying—to give that to you. If you let me.” My heart beats so fast for this woman. “I love you, Leila.”
This is it. I’ve said everything I needed to say. My whole heart is out there for her. If she tells me she doesn’t want to be with me, that she doesn’t trust me, or doesn’t believe me, there’s nothing I can do. I want to fight for us, but I don’t want to keep hurting her.
“Where are you?”
I lift myself off the couch, opening the door. “Anywhere you want me to be.”
She laughs. Fuck, I love that sound. “Can you be here in ten?”
I’m already out of the door when I say, “Make it five.”
44
He loves me, he loves me not
I never thought my heart could race so fast from just a knock at the door, but when I open the door and those bright blue eyes are looking down at me, it manages to beat even faster.
Aiden licks his lips, staring down at me. “Leila.” I smile at my name coming from his lips. He doesn’t say anything else, his head shaking slightly as he looks at every inch of my face, from my lips, to my eyes, to my cheeks; there isn’t a part of me that doesn’t feel the burn of his gaze.
The door opens wider when I take a step back, allowing him to come in. The moment he enters my apartment and I close the door behind us, it feels like he was never supposed to leave. “It’s weird,” I breathe out. “This place has felt so empty without you, and as soon as you come in, it feels like home again.”
