Page 46 of Spin The Bottle
He means how I handled the fact that I was bullied on set by the other models. He means when they removed the food from the table so I wouldn’t eat because ‘I had already eaten enough to last me a lifetime.’ He means when they would make pig noises whenever I walked by.
Only he doesn’t know that I didn’t handle it well. At all.
To him, maybe it didn’t seem that way since I kept to myself, ignored them and tried to not let it affect me, but when the shoot was over, I shut myself in my room with a whole box of Oreos and binged while I cried. The whole night.
Nobody knows that I’m weak though. They don’t know that I don’t have control over my emotions, even though it seems like the complete opposite.
And the fact that Adriana is getting bullied breaks my heart for her, for me, for every little chubby girl who had to grow up and hate her body.
I can’t even count how many times I grabbed a pair of scissors and wished I could cut my body, mar myself to fit in, to look good. To love myself.
I blow out a breath, feeling my heart race and the tears threaten to spill over. “Yeah,” I say, giving him a smile. “I can do that.” I reach into my bag and pull out my phone.
His eyes widen. “Seriously?” he asks, pulling out his phone. “I know it’s a lot to ask, Leila.”
“It’s okay,” I say shaking my head. “This trumps any dumb reasoning I may have.”
“It’s not dumb. You have a right to want to keep your life private.”
I scoff. “Kind of impossible to do when I’m a model.” A plus-size model, I want to add. The distinction is very important. People think that because my career is in the public eye, they have a right to judge me, to comment on my body, my face, my hair, whatever the hell they decide that week.
I take his phone from him, inputting Adriana’s number in my phone, jolting when I hear the elevator ding behind me and the room fills with laughter and murmurs.
“Your best friends are here,” Lucas whispers, grinning like an idiot.
I narrow my eyes at him. “Funny,” I deadpan.
He snickers, grabbing his phone back. “Thank you, Leila. Seriously.”
“No problem.” I give him a smile. He pulls me in for a hug, and I wrap my arms around him, squeezing him.
“Oh my god, is that Lucas Silva?” I hear whispers behind me.
I pull back and smirk at Lucas, knowing he heard that too. “Don’t start,” he scolds.
I hold my hands up. “I wasn’t going to say anything.” I definitely was.
“Right,” he says with an eye roll. “I should probably get going before I’m raided by fangirls.”
He presses his lips to my cheek and turns around, walking into the elevator. As soon as the door closes, the questions come in.
“Was that Lucas Silva?” Jennifer asks me. Her blue eyes trailing down my body as she assesses me.
I nod, giving her a tight-lipped smile.
“How do you know him?” she asks.
I shrug. “We’re friends.”
Her brows knit, her face scrunching as she looks up at me. “Really?”
“Yes,” I say, with a straight face. I walk away, heading into the studio where Max is crouched down, setting up the studio.
“You know,” I hear behind me. “I’ve heard stories about Lucas.” I turn my head, raising my eyebrows at the blonde who just doesn’t want to leave me alone today.
“His usual girls aren’t really, you know…” Her eyes scan my body once more. Did she not get a good enough look last time? “You’re not his usual type.”
Can I slap her?
