Page 86 of Spin The Bottle
I nod, scoffing at the reminder of how she found out. “She kind of walked in on us leaving the bathroom together.”
She places half of her eaten croissant back into the bag. “So what does this mean? Are you guys dating?”
I shake my head before I even consider it. It’s been almost a three since Aiden told me he wanted more and took me on a date. Three days since I realized I’m in love with him. And I haven’t seen him.
I can’t tell him what he wants to hear. I don’t think I ever will. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Why not?” I glance at her, not daring to say anything else. She knows why. She was there. “Oh. Right.” She swallows. “Jake.”
Yeah, him. I let out a sigh. “I told myself I wouldn’t let it happen again, but it’s gotten a little… complicated.”
“What do you mean?” The smile on my face is more than enough of an answer, which Rosie catches on to, stopping in her tracks, and grinning at me. A smile so wide I’m scared for her jaw. “You love him,” she announces, everyone within a mile radius hearing her.
“Shhh.” I glance around. “God, can’t you keep a secret?
She chuckles. “This is big news. You love him,” she says again, unable to stop smiling. “So why aren’t you guys dating?”
“It’s not that simple, Rosie. I didn’t want this to happen.” I let out a groan. It’s the last thing I could want and the best thing that has ever happened to me.
She smirks, glancing at me. “So are the rumors true?”
“What?”
She grins, holding out her hands about nine inches apart. My eyes widen when I catch on, bending over in laughter. “Oh my god.” I shake my head. “Grayson has ruined you.”
She drops her hands, laughing along with me. “That’s a yes.”
My eyebrow lifts. “That’s a hell yes.”
She gulps, eyes widening, which makes me laugh even more. She shakes her head. “I’ve got to go to class.” She stuffs the croissants in her bag, waving goodbye.
The door of the café slides open when someone walks out and I head inside, approaching the counter to order my daily green smoothie when I hear laughter. Not just any laughter. I’ve heard it before. The cocky, bitchy laugh that girls do when they’re making fun of you. Just the sound makes my skin prick with goosebumps when I look around, the noise haunting me from the years of modeling with other thin girls who acted like my body was a joke to them.
“I’m not lying. I saw them together at Vio last week.” I stare at the counter in front of me, my ears perking and my heart racing when the name of the restaurant Aiden took me to comes up in conversation.
“Aiden Pierce doesn’t go out with girls like her,” another girl says. “There’s no way they’re sleeping together. They’re just friends.”
“I’m surprised she even fit on the page.” My stomach drops when they laugh and I turn around, spotting three girls huddled together, the one in the middle holding a magazine. The magazine I’m on. Their eyes land on mine and the laughing stops, their faces visibly blanching. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve been through this, how many times I’ve heard comments just like it, it hurts every time.
“Hello, what can I get you?” I turn around, staring at the barista who’s smiling at me. I don’t even respond, I turn around and push through the door, walking out of the café trying not to fall and break down in front of a bunch of strangers.
I don’t even know where I’m going. I just walk, my vision blurring as the tears threaten to drop. Why is it so much easier to focus on the negative over the positive? I’ve spent the whole morning on the post looking at comments and saw so many nice ones, so many supporting girls loving the diversity in the different body types. So why is it that one comment from a few girls has me rethinking everything?
“Hey.” When I look up, Aiden’s walking towards me with a grin on his face. I forgot how good his presence is. I almost forgot how he makes me feel when we’re together. The settling feeling washes over me the closer he approaches, until he’s right in front of me, reaching to cup my face.
My eyes widen when I realize he’s about to kiss me and I take a step back, scanning the surrounding area. There are too many people here, people who know Aiden. This is not a good idea. His frown makes my stomach drop and I force myself to say, “We’re in public.”
I twist around and walk over behind one of the buildings. “Where the hell are you going?” he asks. I don’t answer, I just keep walking until I’m certain no one can see us. His hand wraps around my wrist, halting me. “Talk to me, Leila. Stop running away and tell me why you’re so hellbent on keeping this a secret.” His frown deepens when I pull away from his touch and cross my arms, my heart pounding against my chest. “I thought we talked about this,” he says, looking down at me, disappointed.
The problem was, we didn’t talk about anything. We had one special night where I let myself pretend this could happen, but then I remembered it couldn’t. “You talked,” I tell him. “I said I couldn’t do this.”
He shakes his head, perplexed by how cold I’m being. I have to be. I can’t give him false expectations, letting him wait around until I’m ready because I never will be. “What are you talking about?” he asks. “What the hell changed since a few days ago? On your birthday you said—”
“I lied.” His mouth closes when I interrupt before he can give me a rundown of what I said that night. I know what I said, and I meant every word, but that was before I remembered how different Aiden and I are. “I didn’t mean it,” I lie, my heart breaking with every word. “I don’t think this is a good idea, Aiden. We’re not fit for each other.”
“What the hell does that mean?” He stalks over to me, but when I take a step back, he freezes, letting out a harsh sigh. “Is this about my family?”
My eyes squeeze shut. Please, don’t make this any harder than it has to be. “No,” I tell him honestly. “I told you I don’t care about that.” His family have nothing to do with why I can’t be with Aiden. This is all on me.
