Page 87 of Spin The Bottle
“Then what?” he asks, desperately. “What are you saying right now because you’re breaking my fucking heart here, Leila?”
God. My heart aches when his voice cracks saying my name. I love him. I wish everything was different. “You don’t like me like that, Aiden, you’re just deluded. You like the sex or maybe it’s just out of pity.” I shrug. “I don’t know. I just think we need to cool it.” My throat burns when I spit out the next words. “I think we should—”
“Do not say see other people,” he warns. “I thought I made it perfectly clear no one fucking touches you but me.”
I don’t want anyone else to touch me. I don’t want anyone else to kiss me. I just want him. “I don’t want to do this anymore,” I tell him, dropping my eyes to the ground beneath us. I hate that I have to do this.
His thumb lifts my chin, the small amount of contact making my stomach flutter. When I lift my head and look into those blue eyes of his, my heart stops. I love him so much. “What happened?” he asks. “Just tell me.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “What happened?” I repeat. “Look around, Aiden. I’m a joke. You’re the king of Redfield. Did you honestly think it was going to go any other way than this? No one will get it. I barely do.”
“You don’t get what?”
“Why you want me,” I yell back at him, wanting him to get it, to get what everyone else will think if they see us together. “Why you even looked at me when you can have any girl you want.”
“I don’t want any other girl,” he yells, taking a step closer to me. “I want…” he closes his eyes, running a hand down his face. “Fuck, I just want you, Leila.”
My lips press together as I shake my head. “Every girl in this school wants you,” I tell him. “I can’t compete with that.”
“There is no competition,” he says, taking a step closer. “You win every time.”
His words make me press my lips together, my heart beating right out of my chest, so fast, so hard. “What we have works in private, Aiden. It doesn’t work in public.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit. This has nothing to do with other people. This is between you and me. No one else,” he says, stepping closer to me. “Just us.”
“It’s not just us,” I say, gulping when I look at him. “Everyone will talk. You’ll be ruined if people find out we’re together.” I let out a sigh, wanting him to understand. “They’ll joke and give you shit for it. There’s a reason they all want to keep it a secret.” I throw my hands up. “God, even your teamma—” My lips press together when I realize I’ve said too much.
His eyes widen. “Repeat that for me,” he says. “My teammate?” I let out a sigh, and when I don’t answer, he asks, “Who, Leila?”
“You told me you didn’t need names.”
His brows rise even more. “If they said something to make you believe being with you should be kept secret, then hell yes I want their names.”
“It doesn’t matter, Aiden.”
He doesn’t buy it though. “Just tell me what happened,” he says. “No names. Just tell me what they said.”
My stomach drops. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
I try to push past him but he stops me, looking down at me. “Tell me.”
I swallow, licking my dry lips knowing I’m about to break both of our hearts for repeating this but he needs to understand why I can’t be with him. “Freshman year of college I was at a party and I saw him in the corner, alone and I approached him. I flirted, he kissed me and took me back to his place.” I’m zooming past the information not wanting to dwell on it too much.
“He kept his hand on my mouth the whole time so I wouldn’t make noise.” I still remember how he kept telling me to ‘shut the fuck up,’ pressing his hand to my mouth so hard it was painful. “He told me to leave through the back exit and to never look at him in public.”
Aiden’s eyes darken and I can feel the anger brewing inside of him. “I’m going to kill him. Who the fuck said that?”
“You said no names.”
“I take it back.”
“Well, you can’t. He wasn’t the only one. Why you don’t understand? This is what they do.”
“I’m not them,” he says. “I am not some silly little boy who needs validation from other guys about who I’m dating.” He shakes his head. “I told you I don’t give a shit what they think of me. I might have done once upon a time, but now…” His eyes bore into me. It feels like he’s staring into my soul, seeing all of my bad parts and still wanting them. “I only care what you think of me,” he whispers, his throat bobbing. “So tell me, Leila. What do you think of me? Are you embarrassed of me?”
I sigh, closing my eyes. “No.”
“Are you not attracted to me anymore, is that it?”
