Page 29 of Crazy Pucking Love
Chapter Fourteen
Dane
When I opened my eyes, the sunlight peeked through the blinds and the clock on the bedside table said it was past eight. I hadn’t slept so soundly in a long time, and I could hardly believe how amazing and rested I felt. I glanced down at the blond head on my shoulder, and the warmth from her body, which was curled nicely around mine, spread.
Megan stirred, and her leg shifted, her thigh now dangerously close to the morning situation I had going on—and looking at her was only making it worse. Her eyes fluttered open.
“Hey.” I ran my hand across the arm she had draped over my chest, trying not to think about how soft her skin felt, about how nice she smelled, and especially not about how much I enjoyed having her curves pressed against me. “How’d you sleep?”
“Like the dead,” she said, a smile spreading across her face. “I meant to leave after you feel asleep, but apparently I crashed, too. Seriously, I haven’t slept that well in forever.”
I fought the urge to tell her maybe we should sleep together every night, then.
This early in the morning, with her thigh brushing my erection, it was hard to remember how I’d managed to not kiss her last night. Pulling away had taken every ounce of my control, and right now, I was pretty sure I’d used it all up.
“Ugh, I better get going or I’ll never make it to my nine o’clock class.” She stretched, her shirt riding up and exposing a few inches of her stomach, and my fingers twitched at the glimpse of delicious skin. Her mussed blond waves made it look like we’d done all of the naughty things currently tumbling through my mind. “I guess I’ll see you in calc later. What’s the rest of your afternoon look like? Any plans after practice?”
Focus, Kowalski. You need to put some space between you and Megan before you forget that you’re trying to be a better person, and that involves not taking advantage of her being in your bed right now.
I gritted my teeth and exhaled through my nose. “I have some studying to do.”
I almost left it at that, but before I could stop them, the words “I was hoping maybe my math study buddy might help me” were out of my mouth and in the air, where I couldn’t take them back.
Okay, so my brain and my body were clearly at odds, and the devil on my shoulder whispered that the invitation to study was innocent enough. That we’d already agreed to be late-night friends, too, and meeting up at the public diner to study would keep me in check.
“She will if you go with her to her number one Boston spot first,” Megan said. “It’ll only take an hour or so.”
“Deal.”
She lifted herself off me, one hand braced on the side of my waist, and I told myself that was for the best. A few more seconds of cuddling and I might beg her to stay. My thoughts about what I wanted to do to her while she was in my bed made me feel guilty enough, and add in how long it’d been, and I was a hair away from losing control.
“I think I’m stuck,” Megan said, kicking at the tangle of sheets that’d captured her legs. She went to tug herself free, but her hand slipped and she lost her balance…
And landed right on top of me.
Oh God.
“Sorry,” she said with a giggle, reaching down and tugging her foot free, and the friction was about to kill me.Think of plays… Or broccoli. Broccoli’s not sexy at all.
When she sat back, her center met my raging hard-on. She sucked in a sharp breath, and I tried—and failed—to suppress a moan. Her blue eyes flew wide and her mouth fell open.
I gripped her hips, lifted her off me, and rolled off the bed, standing so quickly it made me dizzy. I cleared my throat. “I’m going to take a shower.”
An icy cold one.
As I charged into the bathroom, I ran a hand through my hair and tugged until the pricks of pain sharpened my focus, so I wouldn’t do something stupid, like go back there and kiss her. Or ask her to join me.
Think about what you could lose…
I forced myself to recall one of the shittiest days of my life, how the sound of Jazmine’s sobs on the other end of the line had sliced me open and made it clear how badly I’d failed her. In one fell swoop, I ruined not only our relationship, but destroyed our friendship, erasing all the good memories with one bad decision.
That moment confirmed I’d chosen wrong—that my priorities had clearly gotten out of whack—but it was too late to fix it.
Instead of facing my feelings, I’d gone through a blur of girls, telling myself to look at it as freedom instead of a bad thing, even though I knew I’d lost something.
It took almost a year for it to catch up to me. A few months ago, Taylor, one of the girls I slept with at the end of the blur, confronted me in the middle of campus, and as tears ran down her cheeks, taking dark streams of mascara along with them, she’d said, “I thought you were one of the good ones.” And I had to face up to the fact that I’d hurt a sweet girl whose only flaw was liking me.
I wasn’t a good guy anymore, and hadn’t been in a while.
