Page 38 of Crazy Pucking Love
The problem was, I couldn’t stop comparing him to Dane. The guy was more pretty boy than athletic, with an edge of preppiness that I used to find attractive but couldn’t quite summon up the desire for now.
When the guys were trying to calculate how much their coupon would take off their order, I rattled off the answer as Stuart pulled up the calculator on his phone. Then I attempted a “don’t worry, three out of two people have trouble with on-the-spot calculations” joke that didn’t land with anyone—not even Vanessa. Either no one realized what I said, or they thought I was stupid. If that were the case, none of the guys seemed to care. Stuart even flashed me anain’t she adorablegrin.
But I enjoyed the game and my food, and it at least served as a reminder that there were other guys in the sea who seemed genuinely interested in me.
Still, when Stuart moved from just sitting super-duper close to putting his hand on my thigh, it didn’t give me butterflies. Honestly, it only gave me the urge to scoot away, so I pushed back and excused myself, claiming I needed a trip to the restroom.
Once inside, I pulled out my phone. No new calls; no texts. I scrolled to Dane’s contact information and tapped the message bubble. Those three unanswered texts stabbed at my heart. It was one thing for him to not want a relationship, but slamming the door on our friendship was a shitty thing to do, and it sent the ache deeper.
I’m going to go out and flirt and enjoy my weekend.
No more thinking about Dane Kowalski.
Chapter Eighteen
Dane
For at least the tenth time tonight, my phone was in my hand, Megan’s name pulled up on-screen. For an entire week, I’d done so well avoiding her. But with classes and practice on hold for a couple of days, our big game won with one second to spare, and several sleepless hours both behind and in front of me, I wanted to talk to her.
To see her pretty face; to hear her laugh. To see which earrings she was wearing.
Resist the urge. You know that once you see her in person you won’t be able to.
Ox walked through the living room and crossed into the kitchen, and I pressed the X button on the PlayStation controller in my hand to pause the screen. A few months ago, Hudson had been sulking and wasting all his hours day and night playing this stupid zombie videogame. It was a bit mind numbing, but I needed either more numbness or more of a challenge.
“Hey, you want to play me?” I asked my roommate as he opened cupboard doors and peered inside.
“The Bruins are on. I’ve been watching it in my room.”
More hockey. Of course. Not that I didn’t enjoy watching the games, but tonight I’d seen it on TV and couldn’t muster up any excitement. Since I needed some kind of company, I turned to the game.
Ox came over with a bag of potato chips and offered me some.
“Dang, that was tight,” I said through the crunch of the chips.
“Yeah. You should’ve seen this play they pulled off in the second period.” Using the most words I’d ever heard him string together, Ox explained it in excruciating detail.
“You, Beck, and Hudson should try something like that next game.”
Silence fell over the room again, just the announcer and the noise of the TV. Maybe it was having a big family, but I liked noise. When I first arrived in Boston, I thought I liked the silence, but it only lasted a week or so before I missed the noise.
Of course then I’d been missing Jazmine, too. Which reminded me that I should check in with Cass and see if anything had changed. She said she wanted one more week to try to talk sense into Lissa before tattling to Mom and Dad. I told her it wasn’t tattling, but she said she worried with everything else they were fighting about, one more thing might break them.
Maybe I should try to call Jaz again, and see if I can’t help that way. I know somewhere under her pissed-off shell there’s got to be a girl who doesn’t want to see my sister get into trouble.
Dread rose up, my fingers heavy at the thought of even scrolling to her number.
Then I thought of Megan again. If I told her what was going on, would she understand? Have some idea of how to get through to my sister? After all, she at least understood the brother-sister dynamic.
If nothing else, she’d make me laugh, something it felt like I hadn’t done in weeks. Correction. I’d laughed exactly a week ago, when I’d been hanging out with her.
But every time we were together, I could tell she wanted more, and I wanted to give it to her all too often when I was around her. It was a promise I knew I couldn’t keep, though—I hadn’t with Jazmine, and look at how that turned out.
Plus, without the distraction of hanging out with her and fighting myself at every turn, I’d almost kept up in every class this week. I turned in all the assignments, and yesterday when my professor floored me by mentioning he was impressed by a paper I wrote, I decided not to drop any of my courses—that I could get a degree in a subject I was actually interested in, and that I’d do it for my family. All the stress going on at home only gave me more reasons to do it. Even if I went pro, the information I was learning would come in handy.
The game ended—the Bruins winning by one—and Ox handed me the bag of chips and retreated to his room.
I tossed aside the mostly crumb-filled bag and thought of pancakes and good strong coffee. I couldn’t sit here much longer without going insane. Maybe Megan would end up at the diner, too, and if we just so happened to cross paths, it wouldn’t exactly be my fault that I broke down and saw her.
