Page 41 of Crazy Pucking Love
Dane’s hands moved to my hips as his focus shifted to me, and my heart forgot it wasn’t beating just for him. My skin, humming under his touch, also decided to pick today to plan a coup against my common sense. “Thanks. That girl’s seriously crazy. Lately I’ve been finding notes on my car from her—it doesn’t matter where I park on campus, either. She doesn’t seem to get that I’m not interested.”
“Haven’t you tried the ‘I’m not into relationships’ speech on her? Honestly, it’d make me feel better if I wasn’t the only one who’d heard it.”
Dane’s face dropped. “Megan.”
“I’m fine, really.”
He cupped my cheek, and I didn’t feel fine. It felt like my insides were crumbling in on themselves. “You know I like spending time with you. Your friendship means a lot to me. And if I were going to…” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down and he slowly dropped his hand. “It’d definitely be you.”
“I wish that made me feel better. But you’re not going to ever change your mind, are you?”
A muscle in his jaw flexed as determination settled through his features. “Not during hockey season. I just can’t. Plus there’s your brother to think about. It might not seem like it, but I’m trying to protect you—hurting you is the last thing I want to do.”
I hugged my books to my chest, needing the extra barrier. “Like I said, I’m fine. I’ve been making other friends, and if you want to be one of them, you’re going to have to start acting like one, instead of ignoring my calls and texts. And if you don’t call, no worries, I’ll take the hint—I’d hate for you to have to use some other girl to sendmea message. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some research to do before my next class.”
Dane backed up, giving me as wide a berth as the stacks allowed.
I wished standing up for myself and letting him know that I thought his behavior this past week sucked ass made me feel better.
But it only felt like I’d lost someone important.
Chapter Twenty
Dane
One of the fluorescent lights in the hallway of Maloney Hall flickered, buzzing as it fought to stay lit, and I couldn’t seem to look away.
It was easier than wondering what I should do when I stepped inside the classroom for the next round of calculus torture. Did I sit next to Megan? Beg for forgiveness for ignoring her? Even though it killed me, I’d put space between us because it was the only thing I could think of to keep our friendship to just that. But it wasn’t like I could truly ignore her. I spent the past two classes staring at the back of her head and wanting to reach forward and flick one of her crazy earrings. To tangle my fingers in her silky hair.
I wanted to forget everything else, and be optimistic that since we were in the same town and she understood how much time hockey required, maybe I could make us work.
Well, until her brother killed me, but even that was less worrisome than accidentally hurting her. She was right, though. I wasn’t acting like her friend anymore—somehow in trying not to hurt her, I’d done just that.
Add it to my list of failures.
I hardly had time to do anything with my sisters and parents calling me nonstop. While I didn’t have President’s Day off school, my sisters did, and this morning Cass called crying because Lissa had disappeared instead of helping her with our younger two sisters. I called Mom and Dad, thinking I should’ve just done that from the beginning.
Lissa then called to tell me she hated me for ruining her life—she’d always been the most dramatic—and Cassidy said she could’ve at least used a heads-up. I heard two accounts of the horrible screaming match that’d gone down, and when I talked to Dad, he muttered something about way too much estrogen in the house.
Everyone seemed to expect me to fix everything somehow, and I wanted to, but how the hell was I supposed to do anything when I was a couple of states away? Not to mention I was working my ass off to balance my classes and get ready for the Beanpot Tournament—a huge Boston event, mostly for bragging rights between all the local teams.
Tonight was the first game, and we still had our regular season match against New Hampshire on Friday, with the second part of the Beanpot Tournament on the following Monday.Ifwe won tonight, that was, and I fully planned on winning.
Say I had spent an inordinate amount of time this past weekend thinking about how I might want a relationship more than I thought. What did it matter? I wasn’t even sure I could fit keeping up a friendship with Megan with my schedule, much less a full-blown relationship.
Beck and Hudson made it work, but their relationships were more established, and as far as I knew, their drama at home had settled down—Hudson’s had, thank goodness.
Since I was only getting more behind schedule by the minute, I ducked inside the classroom, quickly taking my seat when the professor was already lecturing. The only desk available was in the back, too, so I hoped Megan didn’t think I was ignoring her, even if that was still probably the best course of action for not hurting her.
Maybe I should just let her go. Cut my losses and go back to being the loner at the diner who has to entertain himself with napkin dispensers between study rounds.The thought sent a sharp jab of pain through my chest, and suddenly there wasn’t enough air.
After class ended, I scooped up my books and rushed over to Megan. As she gathered her stuff, I crammed my textbook and notebook into my backpack. “I wanted to say you were right about what you said in the library. I haven’t been a very good friend this past week.”
She lifted her chin, as if to say naturally she agreed.
“I’m going to do better, I swear,” I said, and more than that I meant it. “And it was unfair of me to use you to get rid of Misty.” Even though it was also two of the best minutes of my week. “Are you going to the game tonight?”
“At the Garden? I’m sure it’s going to be crazy. I mean, maybe I’d risk the crowds for Disney on Ice…” She flashed me a smile—a bit weaker than her usual ones, but the added elbow nudge gave me hope. “I’m kidding. Kind of. Actually, now I want to add going to Disney on Ice to my list of things to do.”
