Page 48 of Crazy Pucking Love
With him standing a few feet away, confusion mixed in, cooling the anger a couple of degrees.
The speech I prepared slipped from my mind, but I supposed it boiled down to one question. “Why?”
Tension filled every inch of his posture, like he was preparing for an attack. “Why what?”
Apparently, I’d reduced it too much, but I didn’t know which other variable to throw in.
“Last night… You can’t just demand I stay away from other guys, and then…” A flush of heat swirled through me as I thought of being pressed against the door, his finger inside me. God, I’d never felt anything like that in my life, and even as angry as I was at him, I could hardly think straight, wanting him to grab me and do it again.
“I know,” he said, taking another step closer, his hands up in a surrender type stance. “I was way out of line.”
Completely true, but the words didn’t make me feel better. A hollow ache opened up in my chest. “Why did you do that?”
The muscles along his jaw flexed and tightened. “Because I saw you with that guy, and I’ve never felt jealousy like that, Megan. I wanted to rip his arms off. And I thought I should be the one touching you…kissing you… And that was pretty much as far as I got when it came to thinking.”
“Then you left. Why did you just leave me?” My brain had taken a while to find the most important part of the why question, but that was where the anger came from last night, and it reignited now. I shoved him in the chest, and he could’ve at least humored me and rocked a little bit. “That was a jackass move.”
When he just stood there, I shoved him again. “You made me feel so much, only to leave me to crash.”
“Want to get a slap in there?” he asked, turning his cheek toward me. “Take out an eye?”
My throat tightened. “Yes. But no. It’s not fair, Dane. You can’t tell me you don’t want me and then as soon as you see me with another guy, you…you…” I swallowed back the urge to cry, because I promised myself I wouldn’t. “You can’t jerk me around like that.”
“I…” He reached out and gripped my shoulders. “Again, you’re right, and I’m sorry. I handled it all wrong, but the truth is, Ican’tthink straight around you. You’re smart and you’re sexy, and you make me laugh, and I love being your friend. Of course it’s hard for me to not want more, but I don’t want to hurt you. I want to kick my own ass at just the thought of hurting you.”
He cupped my cheek. “Your friendship means a lot to me, so I’ve tried hard not to screw everything up. But last night, I didn’t think, I just reacted. I saw you, I wanted you, and I ignored everything else. I knew I was crossing a line I shouldn’t, but crossing it felt so damn good.” He locked eyes with me and a shock of awareness jolted through my body. “Youfelt so damn good, and watching you come apart…”
His voice grew huskier and his eyes darkened. “The last string on my self-control was about to snap, and I knew if I stayed a second longer, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from throwing you on the nearest surface and screwing you until you screamed my name, and…”
He withdrew his hands, pulling them away like he didn’t trust himself, and cleared his throat. “I never said I don’t want you. That would be a lie. I’ve wanted you since the night you threw that dart at my head. And now that I know you better, I want you so fucking bad I can hardly think about anything else.”
My heart beat so hard I worried it might bruise my rib cage, and yet I welcomed each pounding thump, each rush of blood it sent crashing through me. My thoughts spun with everything he’d said, including the image of him throwing me down and covering my body with his, and the temperature in the room shot to about a billion degrees.
Judging from his ragged breaths, I wasn’t alone in experiencing that sensation.
“But,” he said, the word strained, and I hated that stupid but, because I knew it was about to crush me. “You made it clear you want a relationship, and like I’ve told you before, I can’t be that guy. Not with how much I’ve got riding on school and hockey, and with everything else going on in my life right now.”
I licked my lips. “What if I didn’t need that guy? What if I just needed you?” I dared a step forward, which brought our bodies flush together, and keeping my eyes on his, I slid my arms around his waist, silently begging him not to pull away.
His erection pressed against me and an insistent ache formed between my thighs. Sure, this wasn’t in my original plan, but I’d already decided to change the rules—that was the benefit of making them. I could change them as needed.
Because if they meant walking away from what I felt with Dane, they were shitty rules anyway.
This was seizing the moment.
“I’m not asking for labels, or for a big complicated relationship, or having to know where you are at all times.” Man it was hard to think now that I could feel him throbbing against me—the fact that I did that to him made me want him even more. “I’m talking about when we have time to spend together, we do, and we understand space and busy schedules. We’re friends still, but we add those other benefits. Then we get the best of both worlds.”
Dane put his hands on the sides of my waist and his fingers dug into my skin. “It sounds good in theory,” he said, the deep, gravelly timbre of his voice echoing through me and sending my hormones into overdrive. “But I’m not sure if—”
I tipped onto my toes and pressed my mouth to his. I dragged my tongue across his bottom lip and he groaned, his grip on my hips tightening. He grew even harder, which only turned my desire to raging need.
“That is a rather compelling argument,” he muttered against my lips, and I smiled.
“Just let me in a little,” I whispered. If in time, we found ourselves in a different place, then I couldn’t deny I’d jump all-in, no question. But if not, I’d simply enjoy the part of Dane I could get, especially if it meant more of this. “We’ll hang out, we’ll study—sometimes math, sometimes each other’s lips…” I kissed him again and ran my finger down his chest. “Each other’s bodies…” At the waistband of his jeans, I swiped my finger back and forth and his muscles twitched under my touch. “And we’ve got the long nights. It’s not like we’re sleeping as it is. So we’ll just have fun. No pressure.”
“When you put it like that, it’d be downright stupid to refuse.” Dane wound his arm around my waist, molded me to him, and then parted my lips with his and stroked his tongue over mine.
Heat and desire flooded my system, nearly short-circuiting it, and I wasn’t sure I was breathing anymore—but I didn’t care about silly things like breathing right now. I wrapped my arms around his neck and threw myself even more into the kiss, welcoming whatever else he wanted to do to my body.
