Page 58 of Crazy Pucking Love
Dane:Thanks, I needed that. xo, beautiful.
Whatever Dane and I were doing definitely made my life more complicated, but I’d never felt like this before. No guy had ever made me feel as adventurous or as beautiful as Dane had, either.
As far as I was concerned, the best math problems were complicated. That didn’t mean there wasn’t a way to solve them. Just that you needed to put in the time to get the right answer. An awesome rush came along with the sense of accomplishment once you found it, too.
So I’d take complicated and hope that in time, I would find the right formula to keep our friends-with-benefits situation from a crash-and-burn ending.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Dane
My eyes had that gritty, burning sensation that came with not sleeping. You’d think I could’ve caught a couple of hours on the all-night bus ride to New York, but nope. No doubt grouchiness radiated off me as I stumbled into the station, and I was strung so tight I almost wanted someone to start shit so I could blow off some steam.
Ironically, I chose public transportation because it had been past one a.m. by the time I decided to make the trip home, and after hardly sleeping for days, I worried I might fall asleep at the wheel. I lifted my phone, looking at Megan’s last text again, and I felt a little less like doing something that’d land me in prison.
If I aimed for jail, at least my sister and I could share a cell. I exhaled, half frustration, half air. By now Lissa should be home.
I bet it’s a war zone there right now.
Too exhausted to deal with the subway, I hailed a taxi and rattled off my address.
After my last trip home ended up rubbing my face in how badly I’d failed Jazmine—and how even if I accomplished my goal of being a better person there were things I couldn’t undo—I practically fled back to Boston. I was in no hurry to return to the Bronx, and I definitely didn’t want it to be under these circumstances.
My eyelids had just drifted closed when the car lurched to a stop and the driver gave me the total.
I paid him, grabbed my duffel bag, and walked up the cracked sidewalk. The rickety screen door punctuated my entrance as it banged closed, and six faces turned toward me.
Then everyone started talking at once.
My two younger sisters were sent upstairs—even though they’d hear the arguing through the thin walls—and then the shouting and crying escalated to epic proportions, with Lissa blaming everyone but herself for her mistake. Shocking side note: No one understood her.
Also, apparently we were all overreacting and everyone partied a little in high school, so it wasn’t a big deal.
Twenty headache-inducing, make-me-wish-for-deafness minutes later, Mom and I were the only people left seated in the living room.
“I don’t know what to do,” Mom said, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue that’d seen better days.
After the circus was downgraded to more of an overrun zoo, Dad made everyone but Lissa climb in the van so he could take them to school. Currently my delinquent little sister was showering off “the stench of the jail cell.”
I couldn’t believe how confrontational she was—she’d always been on the dramatic side, but I’d never seen her lash out before—and I could see why Cassidy was so worried. If I hadn’t been preoccupied with other shit, I would’ve sensed something was up with her over Christmas.
That’s what I did, though. I was the guy who didn’t show up when people needed me. I was trying to amend that now, despite the fact that I really didn’t have time for this impromptu trip.
Mom was clearly overwhelmed, and at a total loss on what to do. Dad and Cassidy, too. The other two girls seemed to be in survival mode, and when Allie and Maddie gave me quick hello-and-good-bye hugs on their way out, they both had way too much worry swimming in their red-rimmed eyes.
Didn’t Lissa see what she was doing to our family?
Probably not, because she wasn’t thinking straight. She was thinking about herself and only that.
And I had two whole days to convince her to make a change. No pressure or anything.
…
I abandoned cleaning the messy kitchen and answered the knock at the door.
When I saw Jazmine on the porch, every muscle in my body sagged, like they’d take off to avoid being around for what came next if they could. My tiredness level reached the double vision stage, and the two images of my ex drifted apart before swimming together.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
