Page 76 of Crazy Pucking Love
“Bye, angel,” he said, shooting me a sleepy grin before rolling over and falling back to sleep.
At the moment, I wished I was an angel, because heaven help me, I didn’t think I was strong enough to walk away from this boy, even knowing he’d likely break my heart.
…
Whenever a teacher asked you to stay after class, it usually proved to be a bad thing. Which was why my hands trembled badly enough that I shoved them in my pockets, for fear of looking guilty of whatever crime Professor Williams was about to accuse me of.
“Have you heard of the engineering outreach program?” he asked.
I wished for a water bottle so I could take a swig and work up enough moisture to speak. “No. Is that like when a student starts failing? Because I’ve been studying, and I thought I was doing okay in this class, and—”
“Megan.” He held up a hand. “Quite the opposite, actually.”
“So I’m doing bad?” My voice squeaked, but I couldn’t help it. Electrical engineering was one of my favorite classes, even if it was a bit harder than expected. Even though I’d fallen a little behind and fudged a few homework assignments in my other classes, I always made sure to prioritize this one, and I thought I was nailing it.
Professor Williams laughed, and I decided he must secretly enjoy torturing students—and to think, I thought he was one of the nicer professors. “You’re doing very well in class. The program involves sending our best engineering undergrads to local classrooms to get junior high and high school students excited about engineering. One of my other students had to pull out due to a family emergency, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to take her spot for the rest of the semester.”
“That sounds amazing,” I said, a flutter of excitement going through my stomach.
“It requires quite some time, of course.” He outlined the hours and what the projects with the students entailed, and while I wanted to jump and say yes, there were a few things holding me back.
Namely, the fact that it would be more of a struggle to spend time with Dane. With hockey he was already so busy, and yes, we had the nights, but I knew he was getting behind on his studies, too. I wanted to help him keep up, not leave him alone to figure out calculus by himself.
Professor Williams steepled his fingers and stuck his chin on them. “You’ll also have more access to the engineering department’s lab and get to interact with the professors, which would give you a better chance at getting into the classes you want in the future.”
Again, it sounded amazing, and again, I thought about Dane. Could we survive more time apart? I felt like we were barely holding our sorta kinda relationship together as it was.
What had I told Dane about taking care of himself first, though? I should probably take my own advice.
It’s not like he’s promised me anything other than a maybe, and here I am considering giving up this huge opportunity. What’s wrong with me?“Can I get back to you?”
“Of course.” He handed me a pamphlet. “If you’re unable to do it, I will need to approach other students, so could you think about it over the weekend, and get me an answer by our next class?”
Four days. It wasn’t a lot of time, but it should be enough. “Yeah. I’ll let you know on Tuesday.”
“Thanks, Megan. And for the record, you’re one of the top students in the class. That fact and the way your face lights up in the lab is why I chose you.”
To be chosen, to know someone had so much faith in me… It wasn’t something I experienced a lot, and honestly, it buoyed my mood and sent a sense of pride through me. One of the reasons this field called to me was to make a difference, and I thought of the kids—and okay, especially the girls—who I could sway to the engineering side.
Riding that high, as soon as I stepped into the hall, I pulled up the information I looked up a few days ago and decided to make the call. My original plan was to show Dane what I’d found, but every time I went to, something held me back. Probably the fact that he’d look at it as charity or pity, and I didn’t mean it that way. I wanted to help, and I figured a teen girl’s struggle was bigger than Dane and me. I knew all too well how your life could spiral out of control without help.
As I talked with the woman who ran the foundation, she reassured me that my donation and involvement would remain anonymous. Which meant Dane’s sister could get the counseling she needed, I could alleviate some of his parents’ stress, and then maybe he’d see that he didn’t have to shoulder so much responsibility.
Which might also help free him up for the time that this engineering opportunity would take away…
…
Me:Are you sure you don’t want to take a road trip to Connecticut? I’ll drive my own car, and there can totally be touching and kissing—it’ll be encouraged, actually.
I stared at the text message to Dane on my screen for a couple of seconds before backspacing and deleting it. If he didn’t want to go with me that was his loss.
I considered texting about the engineering program, since the more I thought about it, the more excited I was, but that conversation would be way easier in person.
Vanessa entered our dorm room, tossed her backpack aside, and threw herself on the bed, draping one arm across her eyes. “That’s it. My brain is broken, and I don’t have anything left.”
“Well, if you want to hit a big party this weekend, I know this little girl who’s turning nine. Not to oversell it, but cake and ice cream will be involved.”
She lowered her arm and looked over at me. “Oh, right. I forgot you were heading out of town. I was going to ask if you’d go to the Quad tonight after the hockey game. I need to get Justin out of my system.”
