Page 80 of Crazy Pucking Love
“Lyla isn’t getting in the middle of this,” she said. “You two need to hash it out. I’ll referee and step in if anyone taps out, but that’s it.”
“Did you know?” Beckett asked her.
“I repeat. Not getting in the middle.” She crossed her arms, a neutral mask descending, and then she tipped her head toward me, the silenttalk to your sisterclear. Guilt over putting her in this position rose, but since I needed to focus on talking to my brother, I shoved it away to be dealt with later.
“I know you wanted me to find a nice freshman monk, but one, you know that’s impossible, and two, I fell for Dane.”
He jerked his head around to look at me. “Fell for him? So what? He’s your boyfriend?”
“I…wouldn’t call him that.”
“Great, so you’re just fooling around—this just gets better and better.” Beckett shook his head. “You’re going to get hurt.”
“I’ve been hurt before.”
“And I remember what it did to you. I had to go pick you up from jail, remember?”
An ache bloomed in my chest. “That was different, and I’ve moved past it. I wish you would see the progress I’ve made.” He didn’t even know the half of how many times I’d been hurt. “I’m stronger than you give me credit for—I thought graduating early would show you that. I don’t know what I have to do to prove it to you, so I’m going to stop trying. You’ll just have to trust me.”
His shoulders sagged. “You’re right. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are, and honestly, I couldn’t be prouder of that.” He reached back and patted my knee, and my heart knotted. “I trustyou. I just don’t trusthim.”
I lifted my chin. “You don’t have to. It’s my decision to make. He gets me, Beckett. Part of the reason I’ve transitioned so easily is because of him. Please try to accept it? For me?”
His eyes narrowed as he stared out at the road, and if he gripped the steering wheel any tighter, I was pretty sure it’d bust. “I don’t know if I can. That’s asking a lot, to just step aside and wait for you to get hurt.”
“You seem so sure I’ll get hurt. There’s another outcome, you know.”
“That you guys become boyfriend and girlfriend and sail off into the sunset? Are you sure you’re not over-romanticizing things, the way you used to before…” He cleared his throat. “Before Mom and Dad died and we learned the truth about their relationship?”
The truth was, I wished for my old rosy optimism, because it’d be easier to believe I could balance the engineering program, my hectic class-load, and still have the relationship I wanted with Dane. But now I knew love took sacrifice, and if he was willing to work with my crazy schedule, I’d work with his.
He told Beckett he cared about me. That’s where love starts, right?
“Megan?”
“You’re going to miss the exit,” I said, pointing at the large green sign ahead.
I was sure he’d call me on changing the subject, but he didn’t. He glanced at Lyla, then reached over and tugged her arms free of their crossed position.
She smiled at him and he lifted her hand and kissed it. I wanted to saylook at you and Lyla. Why are you trying to prevent me from having that?But again, Dane and I weren’t quite there yet, and besides, I didn’t want to ruin the semi-peace we’d achieved after over an hour of tension so thick I’d nearly choked on it.
Beckett turned off the freeway and headed toward home, and my nerves stretched tighter. I told myself I had nothing to fear here anymore—that I’d escaped and obtained my fresh start. I wished that made the old hurts go away, but it almost felt like going backward.
Especially since my brain chose now to whisper that while settling for half a relationship wasn’t as self-destructive as stealing, it wasn’t exactly healthy.Yeah, I know, I’m a big hypocrite who has a ways to go on my fresh start. Thanks so much for reminding me of that.
My brother pulled up to our house—the one we’d grown up in—which also helped. At least we could stay here instead of at Aunt Tessa’s, where she’d make it clear our presence was putting her out.
The click of our seatbelts sounded loud in the sudden silence, but before I exited the car, Beckett twisted in his seat, pinning me with the eyes he and I had gotten from Mom. “You know I want you to be happy, right?”
I nodded. Then I told myself to be bold. “And if Dane makes me happy?”
The muscles in his jaw flexed, tightening the line of it. “I’m sure you think I’m being harsh on Dane, but…last semester he made a bet over whether or not Hudson could sleep with Whitney. She was the new reporter, and when she rebuffed Hudson’s advances, Dane turned it into a challenge. That’s not exactly a stellar example that he takes relationships seriously. So yes, I’d worry about any guy, especially any of my teammates, but that’s why I’m so against Dane in particular. I told him to stay away, and in doing so, I’m afraid I made you a challenge. I won’t let him make you the joke he laughs about with the rest of the guys.”
I turned to Lyla, wanting her to tell me it wasn’t true, and when I received a pity-filled look instead, a strange unsettled feeling came over me. I’d been on the other end of a similar challenge, and I knew firsthand how much having guys look at me as their next conquest hurt. My brain rejected the idea that my Dane could do that to someone.
“But Hudson and Whitney are dating now,” I said, still trying to make sense of the information, because it didn’t add up. I wanted to deny it—I knew Dane better than my brother did. I’d heard the way he talked about his sisters. He wouldn’t do that.
“Yeah, they managed to work it out. Hudson had to pretty much beg for forgiveness because he fell in love with her along the way, and he’s lucky she forgave him. You said yourself that Dane hasn’t committed to being your boyfriend. So I just want you to know that there’s more to him than he’s showing you, so be careful.”
