Page 15 of Confessions of a Former Puck Bunny

Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and my blood pumped faster. “Good thing.”

I wanted to inch my hand higher up her thigh, and while I was wishing for things, I also wanted to close the gap between us and kiss the lips I couldn’t stop obsessing about.

The loud scrape of a chair broke through my hazy thoughts, reminding me we were in a library. No doubt Lindsay had insisted on it so I’d behave myself, but she overestimated how concerned I was about library rules and my desire to behave in public. Whenever I was around her, I wanted to do anything but.

“You’re doing the intense thing again,” Lindsay whispered.

“This is my preparing-to-math-so-hard face.”

She laughed, loud enough that everyone in the room turned. The studious dude in front of us even shushed us, which only made her laugh harder, and then I was laughing, too.

I scooted my chair as close as possible, even though it still wasn’t nearly close enough. “This is why we should’ve done it at my place.”

“This is exactly why I can’t go to your place,” she said, and when I asked her to explain, she turned her focus to her book. “Let’s just get through this.”

For the next hour, I crammed as much information as I could into that pretty head. When her eyes widened to the point that I worried she was short-circuiting from all the information, I grabbed her hand. “You got this. You’re at least better off than a week ago.”

She stuck out her lips in a pout. “Yeah. But that’s sort of like saying I’m better at math than a rock. Both are true, but neither will necessarily help me pass my class.”

“Hello, that’s what you have me for.” I ran my thumb over her knuckles. Her gaze dropped to our joined hands, and just like the other night, she pulled away. Guess that meant I had nothing to lose. “So, remember our fun outings payment plan?”

Suspicion filled the eyes she narrowed on me.

“Come to the hockey game tonight. I already talked to Megan, and she’d love for you to go with her, Lyla, and Whitney.”

Her face paled, and she adamantly shook her head. “I can’t. I just…can’t.”

“Well, now that you’ve explained…” I know Dane said she wanted to take us down, but right now it seemed more like she thought she’d catch the plague from going to a game, not that she was set on our destruction. “Okay. Forget it. I was just joking about you owing me anything, anyway.”

I scooted my chair out from under the table, but before I could stand, she grabbed my hand. A pained expression crossed her features. “I know that you sacrificed your time to come help me today, which I really, really appreciate. I just can’t go to the game.”

I almost left it at that. Thursday’s practice proved that spending time with her cost some of my energy and focus, and we had playoffs in a few weeks. This was no time to let up, and if I was smart, I’d walk away. But with her big brown eyes peering at me, her hand clamped around mine, that whispered connection carried over and turned into a full-blown electric-charged pull, and it wasn’t in my nature to simply give up.

“How about the party at the Quad after?” I brought out the teasing that worked for me the other night. “It’s going to be fun, and I thought we were making strides toward you embracing that kind of thing.”

She slowly let go of my hand and ran a hand through her hair. “I’m assuming Whitney will be there, too.”

“She usually is, yeah.” And if she wasn’t planning on it, I was going to do everything in my power to talk her into it.

Lindsay stared at a spot at the front of the room, an internal struggle showing in her features, and then she looked back at me. “I’ll try to make it.”

Words my dad had spoken countless times popped into my head:Saying you’ll try is giving yourself permission to fail. Just do it.

Luckily I knew better than to say that out loud, especially to Lindsay, who would no doubt appreciate it even less than I had growing up. The never-ending pressure to live up to my dad fed into my desire to not just succeed, but to surpass his expectations. After the constant comparisons where I seemed to always fall short, I decided to impress everyone by doing it my own way. Instead of becoming a forward like he’d been, I threw myself into playing defense.

When he’d told me I was too scrawny to play at the college level, I’d bulked up to prove how far I’d go to make it happen.

Once I made the team at BC, I thought I’d finally get his approval, but so far, I still fell short. This was the year I was proving myself, once and for all.

Realizing I was clenching my fists and getting worked up in the opposite way I wanted to do before a game, I shoved those thoughts away and returned my attention to Lindsay.

“Come find me if you do.” I brushed her hair off her face and dragged my thumb across her cheek. “And for the record, I really hope you do.”

Chapter Eight

Lindsay

Confession #5:I used to see other girls as strictly competition, and I’d measure my assets against theirs and then do whatever it took to win.

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