Page 36 of Until We're More
Climbing in bed with her was the worst idea ever, and man did I want to sayfuck itand do it anyway.
“We just need to get in jammies first.” She flung off the covers. Then she shoved me toward the door. “You promised living with you would be like that sleepover we had when both our parents were out of town, so don’t look at me like I’m crazy. You tell me I have to be more assertive, so here’s me saying what I want, and that’s a slumber party with snuggling. Now, go get in your jammies.”
To confess or not to confess that my “jammies” were nothing but my boxer briefs?
Not to. Definitely. I had plenty of warm-up pants and sweats. Sure. That’d work, as long as I also added a jock strap with a protective cup to keep myself in check and prevent her from noticing when I couldn’t. I gave one last shot to saving myself from a night of heavenly torment. “I probably smell like a brewery.”
She leaned in close enough for her breasts to brush my chest and sniffed my neck andholy shit, the woman was testing me tonight. “You smell good. You smell like you. Meet you back here in five.”
What could I do but go along? It wasn’t like I had a lot of experience in fighting or anything.
Chapter Fifteen
Chelsea
What was I doing?
No idea, honestly. But I was pushing myself to voice the ideas I had, good or bad, and what I wanted more than anything was to snuggle up with Liam and talk like we used to. I was telling the truth when I said he was the best pillow ever. And okay, maybe I wouldn’t have said that—or the whole thing about the boyfriend pillow—if I hadn’t been half-asleep. But once he returned wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt, I wasn’t about to take it back. Not when I longed to be wrapped up in his arms, his steady heartbeat against my ear.
Plus, it could count as the one thing that scared or challenged me for the week. I just wasn’t sure if the challenge would be persuading myself to test the boundaries or convincing myself that I’d be perfectly satisfied if we never explored the option of more. Both equally terrified me, so win?
I scooted over to make room, and the bed dipped with his weight. To accommodate his size, I teetered on the edge while he lay back, and then I settled my head on his chest. His arm came around me, and everything inside me unraveled.
“I bet a boyfriend pillow is softer,” he said, his breath stirring my hair.
“Who wants soft?” I accidentally asked before thinking it through. “What I’m trying to say is, you’re much better than a boyfriend pillow. Not that you’re…you know what I mean.”
“Mm,” was all that he said, so I wasn’t sure if he did.
“So, Liam Roth, tell me your hopes and your dreams.”
“Starting with the easy stuff, I see.”
I smiled and bit my lip. “It’s been a while since I checked in on them, so I thought I should find out if they’ve changed any.”
“Nope. Same old boring hopes and dreams.”
I lifted my head, and whoa, his face was so close, his eyes so blue. I swallowed, hoping it didn’t sound as loud to him as it did in my head. “Running your dad’s gym with him and becoming the light heavyweight champion isn’t boring. Becoming a marketing manager is way more boring.”
His fingers drifted up my spine, and my heart stuttered. “What ever happened to your dream of owning a bookstore?”
Since we were touching each other, I brushed the hair from his eyes and let my hand trail down the side of his face. “I had to get a more realistic dream. Unfortunately, owning a bookstore isn’t very lucrative these days, and I also found out I’d be expected to do more than sit inside and read all the books.”
“Ridiculous.”
Warmth filled me, inside and out. “Right?” I dropped my head back down on his chest, getting lost in the drag of his fingers and the corresponding zip in my core. My skeptical side had wondered before if the consuming type of attraction written in books was strictly fiction. As heat built, and a burgeoning ache traveled up my thighs and intensified in my very center until my desire annihilated every other feeling, I could finally profess the truthfulness.
And the shittiness.
The only person who’d ever turned me on was my best friend. And here I was indulging in it. I really didn’t want to be a virgin forever—something my body was making crystal clear right now—and I wanted someone who’d make my first time special. According to statistics, the first time wouldn’t be the best for me, but I hoped that same person would be patient and show me the ropes so we could progress to “the right kind of sex.” The kind that’d make me understand why people might skip things like eating and other life necessities in favor of getting it on.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite assertive or bold enough to ask Liam to take my virginity. Or fortunately—I wasn’t sure. Maybe if I made a flirty move, just to test the waters? Surely along the way he would findsomethinghe could work with…
Oh, jeez, what if we started, only for him to begrudgingly confess he’s not attracted enough to me to go through with it? Talk about a friendship ruiner.
And since I had zero experience, well, that would leave me adrift in a sea of attraction without a paddle.
Shit.My heart pounded so hard he could surely feel the rapid rhythm against his chest.
