Page 79 of Until We're More
But that was life, and I’d never been one to stand around whining about things that weren’t fair.
“I gave up my dream so your father could live his,” Mom said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’d never take back our marriage because it gave me you, your brother, and your sister, and I learned a lot about myself. But it was a rough lesson, one that nearly broke me.”
Dad had said the same thing. That he’d broken her.
Those same worries that’d spun through my head all day rose up again. I told myself that he and Mom were different people with a different history, even if it did mirror parts of Chelsea’s and mine a little too closely.
I cleared my throat, but it didn’t rid it of the tightness. “I’d never ask her to give up her dreams.”
“Yeah, but you won’t be happy with anything but becoming number one and holding on to it as long as possible, and it takes so much to get to the top that I’m afraid even if you try your best to avoid it, your dream will still eclipse hers eventually.” Mom shrugged. “I hope I’m wrong. I’m probably also too late to give motherly advice you feel like you should actually listen to, but it’d eat at me if I saw the crash coming and didn’t say anything. I can see that you care about her, so you need to be aware of what she might have to give up. What youbothmight have to give up. Just…think about what you really want before you both end up hurt.”
I didn’t want to think about it, but as much as I hated to admit it, I could see where she was coming from. She’d lived the ups and downs, and like she said, she’d know better than anyone. “Chelsea’s only here temporarily. She has to head back to Denver in a week.”And it’s going to feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest.
Mom nodded. “Now I feel silly for working up the courage to say something.”
“Don’t worry about it. It was good to see you.”
She hugged me and told me goodbye.
I crossed the parking lot, over to where Chelsea, Brooklyn, and Shane were waiting for me.
“Everything okay?” Chelsea asked, while Brooklyn raised her eyebrows in the silent version of the same question.
“Yeah,” I said. “Let’s go home.”
“Remember what I said earlier,” Brooklyn said as Shane started to tug her toward the Mustang. “Don’t wait till it’s too late.”
Basically, my sister told me I’d regret not asking Chelsea to stay, and Mom told me I’d regret pulling her too deep into my life. Which one of them was right?
Probably the one who’d lived it, unfortunately.
…
“I need to talk to you about something,” Chelsea said as soon as we walked into the apartment. My brain had been a mess of downer thoughts as I’d driven us home, and I desperately wanted to pull her to me and get lost in her, a sure cure for thinking too much.
But something in her tone sent worry pinging through me, making it clear there’d be no break for my brain. “Is this a sitting-down conversation?”
Her forehead crinkled. “I’m…not sure. I guess it depends on how you take the news. Maybe have a seat nearby, just in case.”
“I’d be scared, but you’re still talking, so…” I hoped that was a good sign. I could use some good to go with all the bad that wouldn’t leave me alone.
“Well, be prepared to be the opposite of scared—what is the opposite of scared, anyway? ‘Calm’ doesn’t quite fit. ‘Ecstatic’? But that’s not quite right, either.” Her gaze lifted to mine.
“Don’t look at me. You’re the human dictionary.”
“Hmm. Apparently we need a thesaurus so we can find the antonym.”
I closed the distance between us and took her head in my hands. “Maybe just talk to me.”
She swallowed, and apprehension tumbled through me. “It’s about my job. I asked my boss if I might be able to stay in San Diego, at this branch. You would’ve been so proud; I was bold and I— Hey, ‘bold’ is opposite of fear.”
Dangerous, tempting hope rose, even as I told myself that it might be a bad idea. The hope and her staying here, where I’d only add stress to her life, right along with her family. “Chelsea. Babe. Focus.”
She reached up and twirled a strand of hair around her finger. “Turns out, he was actually going to askmefor a meeting, because he got permission to offer me a promotion—to take over his manager position in the Denver office.”
That effectively popped my balloon. “Wow. That’s… Congratulations.”
Her finger twirling kicked into high gear. “But he said if I really wanted to stay, he could hire me on. It’d sort of be like starting back at the beginning, and I’d have to take a pay cut, but I’m sure with my experience, as long as the branch does well, eventually I’ll still be able to move up. To some extent, anyway.”
