Page 58 of Anatomy of a Player

I panicked at the thought of him coming over now, damning evidence for my article surrounding me. Sure it’d been like this when he’d shown up that night we’d watched the documentary, but there was twice as much now. Enough it’d take two trips to hide it. Not to mention I wanted to at least be a little made up the next time I saw him.

Crap. That probably meant I cared too much, didn’t it?

Me:This was the day from hell and I’m totally dead tonight, but someday I’ll take you up on that offer. How’s the ankle, btw?

Hudson:Better. I’m hoping they’ll clear me for practice tomorrow.

Two seconds later…

Hudson:Actually, it’s bad. I need you to help me walk. You should come over.

My grin rivaled the ones I used to paste on during pageants, but unlike those Vaseline-enforced smiles, my current one didn’t take any effort. I cleared a space on the couch and rolled onto my stomach, staring at my phone screen. Leg-kicking might’ve even been involved.

Me:Nice try. I’m about to go to sleep. I’ll catch you later.

There. Look at me being all smooth and light, no neediness in sight.

Hudson:Night, Sexy. If you don’t catch me soon, I’m coming for you.

I shook my head. Seriously, the guy could talk his way out of a lesbian firing squad. I knew he’d said some genuine things during the time we’d been together, I just wished I knew how genuine, and exactly which things.

• An expert-level charmer, the player has perfected every line and knows how to flirt his way in and out of every situation.

• Emotions: Often unreadable. Those who try to dive deeper will get swept away and forget what they were looking for in the first place.

Occasionally a player will show you a rare glimpse at a softer side, one that makes you think this guy might be different. Studies are currently under way to prove if this theory has any validity, and we’re cautiously hopeful.

I tapped my phone and Hudson’s last text lit up the screen.Oh, I want to catch you all right.Or he could come for me. Either way, as long as his lips were on mine again, I’d count it as a win.

“That’s certainly a big smile,” Lyla said—I hadn’t even realized she’d come out of her bedroom. “You’ve seemed so stressed lately. Happy looks good on you.”

I admired her self-control. If the tables were reversed, I would’ve already asked who she was texting and what he’d said. “Hudson was texting me.”

She nodded. “I guessed as much.”

I sat up, making room for her on the couch. “I was thinking… Maybe it’s time for me to end the sex part of my sabbatical? I mean, how can I fully describe his anatomy if I don’t see it all?”

“Oh boy,” Lyla said, no doubt seeing through my poorly constructed argument.

“Okay, obviously it’s not about the Anatomy of a Player article. But it can just be about sex.”

Lyla sighed. “In my experience, it never ends up being just sex. And I’m afraid you’re being a little…overly optimistic that you can keep it to only that. Is no-strings really what you want?” She looked me in the eye. “Be honest.”

I shrugged, even as my body fought the too-casual gesture. “As long as I’m in control, he won’t be playing me. It’ll feel empowering, actually. I won’t have to worry about what we are to each other. This time I’ll know going in that it’s casual sex, and if it keeps happening cool, and if it doesn’t work out, so be it.”

When I dared to meet Lyla’s gaze again, her expression made it clear she thought it was the dumbest idea on earth. “I don’t know a tactful way to say this, so I’m just going to say it sounds like a good way for you to get hurt again.”

“But everything’s changed,” I argued, unwilling to let the idea go now that I’d had it. “I won’t think he’s more than he is.I’llbe the one to hit it and choose when to quit it. Guys have been doing it since the dawn of time.”

“I don’t really think there’s significant enough proof that guys have—”

“Lyla, I love you, but now is no time for semantics. Just have faith in me that I can pull it off. That I can call him up when I want sex, enjoy it, and not deal with the rest of the relationship stuff that I suck at anyway.”

She exhaled, an exhale that apparently weighed a hundred pounds because it went on forever. “I think you can do anything you put your mind to, Whit. But I’m not sure you can keep your emotions from coming along for the ride, even if that’s what you think you want now. So just…be careful, okay? If you feel yourself becoming attached—regardless of what you know and how strong you are—quit it. We’ll go out and cut off those feelings before they take root.”

I was pretty sure the roots had already sunk in. They were twining around my heart and wrapping tighter each time I interacted with Hudson. I knew he had more dimensions to him, parts he hid the same way I did. There was something that connected us, even though I was smart enough—and had more than enough experience—to know that it probably wasn’t enough to make him change his ways.

In spite of all that, I still wanted to explore the connection instead of running from it. I couldn’t help it.

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