Page 81 of To Hunt A Wolf
He sets it down in front of me and backs toward the fire again.
I watch him go, wide awake, thanks to his sudden closeness.
“We’ll have to hunt for something to eat in the morning,” he adds.
My wolf is interested at the prospect, but my human side grimaces. Nothing like taking down a rabbit for brunch.
Levi stares at me from where he’s perched on the other side of the fire.
“You can shift back if you want,” he says.
But I don’t move.
“Seriously, Mac. I know you don’t love staying in this form for this long at one time.” He hesitates, looking away before adding, “I’ll keep you safe tonight.”
His words pierce me, and I give in to the need to be human again.
“I can keep myself safe,” I say quietly.
His eyes snap back to mine, and his expression softens. “Hi.”
“Hi yourself.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m not injured.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
I bite my lip. Honesty isn’t my first instinct, not with Levi. But tonight, I find myself trying it for the first time in years. “I’m sorry,” I say quietly.
“For what?” he asks, startled.
“For letting Dirk be taken. For…what happened at the compound.”
“That wasn’t your fault,” he says.
“That’s nice of you to say.” I shake my head. “But I had a hand in it.”
“I saw Dirk with you that night. I’m just as much to blame as you are for his capture and torture.” “Besides,” he adds, his words almost a challenge. “I would have thought you’d be glad to see the compound go. You weren’t exactly welcomed into it with open arms.”
“I can still appreciate what it meant to you. That place was your home. The people who were killed were your pack—and now they’re gone.”
At my words, whatever mask he’d worn before drops away. Raw grief shines in his eyes, and I feel the depth of it like a punch in the gut. I realize too late what a gaping wound my words have uncovered. For all his stoicism and leadership today, he is broken by this.
His expression is bleak as he says, “You would think I’d be used to loss by now, but it doesn’t really get easier.”
His voice is ragged. He won’t look at me.
I find myself blinking back tears.
“Levi…”
Despite everything between us, my heart hurts at the sight of his pain. At knowing I helped cause it.
“I didn’t set out to create a new pack, you know. I didn’t mean to become an alpha either. It just… I went looking for my parents.”
“Is that why you left town?” I ask. “I always thought it was to escape me.”
