Page 55 of Quarantine Crush
“Are the contracts in order?”
Contracts? What the hell is he talking about?
“Shit,” Knox says, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “How much time do we have? Can we hold them off?” He pauses, and whatever Nelle says makes his shoulders droop. “I know. I just wasn’t expecting the investors to rally together this quickly. I’ve already been there for two years. I can’t believe they’re demanding I make the move permanent.”
I gasp as the idea of Knox moving to London permanently destroys whatever foolish hope I had about last night meaning something to him.
Knox spins, his eyes meeting mine across my darkened living room, and I can see the apology written across his face.
“I’ve got to go, Nelle,” he says. “I’ll call you back, okay?”
I don’t wait to hear the rest of their conversation. Instead, I spin on my heel and head for my room.
“Emy, wait,” Knox grabs my arm, and I spin on him, poking him in the chest.
“Why?” I ask. “So you can tell me what a mistake last night was like you’ve done every other time?”
He recoils like I’ve slapped him. “No. I wasn’t going to– That’s not what I wanted to say at all. I just want to talk. To tell you about what you overheard. I don’t want there to be any more miscommunication between us.”
“Oh, I think I got the message loud and clear.”
“I don’t think you do,” he says quietly, his voice laced with something I can’t name but makes my heart race.
I ignore it because it doesn’t matter. He’s busted.
“So the investors aren’t demanding you move to London permanently?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
His face falls.
“That’s what I thought,” I say. “God, I don’t know why I was so stupid. I thought because last night meant something to me that it meant something to you, but that was just me being a foolish girl.”
Knox reaches out, but I step back before he can touch me. His hand falls, and frustration mars his face.
“Last night did mean something. I told you that,” he growls.
“You told me it was more than a hookup. That’s not the same thing.”
“What else do you need me to say to convince you that I care about you? I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this was a possibility sooner, but honestly, I thought I had more time. I have a plan, but the investors are nervous because of this damn virus. I couldn’t have anticipated this, and I certainly wasn’t expecting everything that’s happened between us.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“Fuck, Emy,” he groans, running a hand over his face. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do because I never thought I’d be in this position.”
My heart clenches at his words. “What about us?” I ask in a whisper. “We haven’t even had a chance to talk about what last night even means. Do you not feel anything for me?”
“Of course I do,” he says, pushing closer to me. When I don’t look at him, he puts his fingers under my chin and tilts my head. “You’re my best friend. The only one I can tell anything to. I haven’t found that with anyone else.”
The words are meant to assure me, but inside, my heart is shattering into a million tiny pieces.
“Of course not,” I cry, tears spilling from the corner of my eyes. “A friendship like this isn’t something you can find with anyone, you idiot. That’s because it’s not just a friendship.”
Knox drops his hand like I’ve burned him and steps back, but I’m too worked up to stop now.
“I love you, you jackass. I’m not afraid to say it. And you love me too. You’re just too stupid or too stubborn to realize it.”
Knox’s eyes are anguished as he pleads with me, “Don’t, Emy. Can’t you see? I’m trying not to mess this shit up.”
My head hangs at his words, the last piece of my tattered heart crumbling to dust. I can tell that Knox thinks being in each other’s lives is enough, that asking for anything more is reckless and foolish, but I disagree. I’ve had a taste of what life with him could really be like, and I can never go back to the way things were. My eyes are watery when I finally look back up at him.
