Page 28 of Enchanted with the Orc
The little things were adding up and I was beginning to see my mistake when that little positive test told me everything that I needed to know. There was a knock on the bathroom door and I knew I couldn’t stay in there any longer.
With shaking hands, I took the test out with me and held it out to him. He’d been the one who asked me to take it.
“What’s it say?” he asked, with expectation.
In a trembling voice, I said, “I-I’m pregnant.”
With a whoop of elation, David had me in his arms and spun me around. Confused, I held onto his shoulders and wondered for the millionth time if I was wrong about him. He was so happy about this.
I always wanted children. Maybe this would be the thing that would fix us. At the same time there was something stirring in my gut that was burning and churning.
He’d taken me to our favorite restaurant to celebrate. We had the most amazing dinner since before we were married. He was being romantic and pulled out all the stops celebrating in a way that I hadn’t realized he could.
He was the male that I’d fallen in love with again. Maybe I’d been right. The glowing feeling grew inside of me as hope began spilling out. This wasn’t a mistake. I’d been wrong to think that he couldn’t change.
I pressed my head to his shoulder in the car as he clasped my hand in his, running his thumb against my wedding ring. “I’m so happy,” he said. “Are you?”
“I am,” I whispered, pressing my lips to his jaw. This was all that I ever wanted. This type of relationship. And with the baby, I was about to have it. The real thing. He finally seemed happy. Settled.
We were both silent as he continued to drive. I stayed where I was, pressed up against him. I was looking out the window when his hand on my hand tightened.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Just that this might be the best thing that ever happened to us,” I told him honestly. When he tensed, I should’ve realized I said something wrong.
“So us getting together is not the best thing that ever happened to us?” he asked, keeping his tone low and angry.
I scrambled to reply. To try to figure out what he wanted me to say. Walking on eggshells was common with David.
“O-of course you’re the best thing to happen to me,” I tried to find a way to fix it. The last thing I needed was for him to get angry right now. “I just meant that this baby will be a great addition to the family.”
“Or did you mean that you’re gonna love the baby more than you love me?” he demanded.
“Not fair. That’s just not true.” I didn’t know what he wanted from me. The honest truth was that I never did. What he needed seemed to change every day. And I was never smart enough to keep up with whatever he needed.
The whiplash of the bliss of a moment ago and then the terror that was shooting through me now was so common that I should be used to it, but every time, I was thrown for a loop like a fool.
Me tiptoeing around his volatile emotions was the essence of our relationship. I knew I was reeling because of the shock of finding out about the pregnancy, so I couldn’t figure out what he needed fast enough. And that was going to be a problem.
“It seems as though you’re gonna love that baby more than you love me.” He said the words with venom, yanking his hand away from mine. “If that’s how it’s going to be, tell me now.”
I knew I was in trouble when I realized he was accelerating the car. He always drove erratically when he was angry. But this seemed a little different.
“I will always love you more than anyone in this world,” I lied to him. Lying had become more and more useful in a relationship. I had to lie that I was happy, I had to lie about being in love with him still. Because I really truly did not know if I was. If what I was feeling for him was love, or if it was something toxic and altogether wrong.
“You’re just throwing bullshit at me now,” he scoffed. He grabbed my hand again, yanking me across the center console until I was almost on his lap.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice trembling.
“If you’re going to love this kid more than you love me, then you are going to get it,” he gritted out between his teeth. “We’ll all go together. Like a family. Like it was meant to be,” he added.
He yanked at the wheel until we were speeding on the edge of the road. Gasping with fear, I clutched at him, hoping that he was just joking.
“You can’t do that David.” I struggle to find anything to tell him that would calm him down. He was so hard to calm down when he was like this. “Think about the baby.”
“It’s the baby that I’m thinking about,” he laughed, sounding a little hysterical. “You’re going to decide that you love it more than me, I just know it.”
Fear for myself and for the tiny baby in my stomach rushed through me. In that moment his eyes looked insane. He looked crazy enough to do it.
