Page 156 of Between Regrets and Promises

I bite down on my lower lip and shrug. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

“Deal. Let’s Netflix cheat on his ass.”

For the next few hours, I get lost in the town’s bad boy and small Southern town drama, and it’s everything I love getting lost in. Eventually, I yawn a few times, and Mason notices.

“Tired?” he asks, yawning too. “Damn, I caught it.” He chuckles, yawning again.

I nod. “Yeah, but I don’t know why, considering I didn’t do much today except go to therapy. Apparently, being in my head is exhausting,” I joke.

He gives me a look. “Let’s go to bed,” he tells me, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV.

I glare at him.

Mason snickers. “Hey, if I don’t turn it off, you know we’ll watch the next one and then the next one, and then we’ll be on the next season. Netflix makes it too easy.”

I giggle because we’ve done it so many times. It’s hard to break away from him when we’re hanging out. I never want our time to end. Mason stands and stretches and holds his hand out. I grab it, and he helps me up.

Neither of us moves to walk away, and I notice the way he searches my face. “You sure you’re okay, Soph?”

“I will be.”

Mason brings his thumb to the corner of my lips. “Got a little sour cream here.”

“Oh.” I chuckle, embarrassed. It’s probably been on my face this whole time. “Thanks.”

His deep brown eyes I’ve gazed into dozens of times look at me with so much love, it’s hard to break away. Then he tucks loose strands of hair behind my ear, and my eyes flutter closed when he cups my cheek. Softly, his lips press against mine, and for a moment, I lose myself in his taste, in his touch, in him. I feel as if I’m falling as his tongue twists with mine, and he releases a groan, sinking deeper against me. His other hand slides down my body until it grips my hip, pulling me against him. Moaning, I wrap my arms around his waist, clinging to the feeling that surfaces at this moment. Kissing Mason is a dream, a fantasy come to life, but then reality smacks me in the face. Although I want to get lost in him and forget about everything, that sneaky bitch anxiety comes barreling in, and I remember it’s too soon.

“I can’t do this,” I whisper-pant, pushing against his chest. We both lost control. The moment I see his sad expression, guilt pours over me, and I frown. “I’m so sorry, Mason. I just?—”

“I know.” He cuts me off. “You’re not ready. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” He swallows and brushes a hand through his hair.

I nod, taking a step back. “Good night, Mason.”

He sucks in his lower lip. “Good night, sweet Sophie.” He winks before turning around and heading upstairs.

I walk to my room and lean against the door. My heart gallops in my chest, and I close my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. Mason deserves to have more than a sliver of me, and right now, my heart is still too shattered to give him anything.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

MASON

The past threeweeks have been both interesting and strange. After that night when Sophie and I kissed, I’ve been careful to keep my distance and watch for her cues so I don’t overstep her boundaries.

After she said she wasn’t ready, I felt like the biggest asshole in the world. I shouldn’t have lost control, but it seemed right regardless of how wrong it was. It’s been difficult to keep my feelings closed up, but that’s what she needs right now.

I think back to when I lost Emma and how I wanted to do nothing but sleep and drink the pain away. At least Sophie is functioning after what she went through. I’m trying to give her all the time she needs, even if that means I have to wait for years, because I will.

The timing has always been wrong for our relationship because when one of us is ready for more, the other isn’t. However, I refuse to give up on her, give up onus. The guilt of crossing the line with her has consumed me. Though I’ve apologized more than once, and she acts as if it’s no big deal, I know better.

I pushed her too far, too quickly, and felt like a selfish bastard. But it’s hard not to be selfish when it comes to her.

A couple of weeks ago, I was offered the promotion, which has helped keep me busy. Most nights, I’m exhausted when I walk in the door. Although I wish I was spending more time with her, it’s probably best that work distracts me for the time being.

Another early morning comes, and after I get ready for work, I head to the kitchen like always. Once the coffee finishes brewing, I pour myself a cup and make one for Sophie the way she likes it, knowing she’ll be joining me soon. After my mug is half empty, I grab ingredients from the fridge and whip up some scrambled eggs and toast.

Like clockwork, Sophie shuffles into the kitchen. I look over my shoulder as she sits at the table, taking a sip of her drink. Her hair is a mess, and she offers me a sweet smile. My heart lurches forward anytime I look at her and have to remind myself to bury my feelings. Something I should be used to by now, considering I’ve been doing it for years.

Doesn’t mean it’s been easy. Finally getting to a place we’ve both wanted and then having the rug pulled out from under us has brought an internal battle I wasn’t ready for.

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