Page 164 of Between Regrets and Promises

Lennon

Did you fall asleep or something? I’m waiting on edge for this question.

A nervous laugh escapes me, but Lennon won’t judge. She never does.

Sophie

Do you think Serena has a thing for Mason?

After a few moments, the text bubble pops up. It stops and disappears, and then her message comes through.

Lennon

She may, but it doesn’t matter what other people want, it’s more than obvious he doesn’t want her. He loves YOU.

Sophie

Are you sure? What if he does because I’m broken over here?

Lennon

I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Right now, focus on healing, and everything else will work itself out. I promise. It always does.

I let out a breath and take her words to heart. It’s hard not to worry when it’s been the only constant in my life for the past few weeks. Am I letting my insecurities get the best of me? Am I starting fights for no reason because of my rocky emotional state? Maybe I am. If Serena wanted him, why didn’t she pursue him all the years he was single? Could I be seeing something that isn’t there? Dozens of questions flood my mind, driving me crazy.

Trying to push the thoughts out of my head, I thank Lennon for chatting with me and turn off the lights with hopes to fall asleep.

It’s been five days since Mason and I had our small argument, and today’s the day I go back to work. He hasn’t brought it up since that night, but neither have I. It’s been rustling around in the back of my head ever since, even when I try to push it out. Though he was in denial about Serena, I know what I saw, and I’m not stupid. Mason’s a catch, and any woman would be lucky to have him—including me. Although Lennon’s words gave me some hope, I hadn’t been able to approach the subject since then.

I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. For the first time in a long while, I feel okay about going to work. The thought makes me smile because playing violin professionally isn’t like a normal job. I show up and get to do what I love, which is morethan most people can say. There’s a lot in my life that I shouldn’t take for granted, and being able to play is one of them.

After I brush my teeth, I practically glide through the living room in my sleepy haze to the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen. Mason continues giving me the space I need, but now I feel like I’m losing him. I don’t expect him to wait for me forever, and it’s something I’ve been thinking about lately.

After everything that’s happened, it feels like the universe is telling us to slow down. Not that I can’t trust Mason—hell, he’s saved my life more than once—but I want to make sure I’m ready when it’s time to take the next step. I don’t want to rush into a relationship and ruin something that could be great for us both, and I know he understands that more than I could’ve ever imagined, but still. It hurts to know I’m the reason we can’t be together the way we deserve to be.

When I sit at the table, he brings me a cup of coffee made the way I like it. The cream makes it the perfect temperature. Mason places some scrambled eggs and sausage in front of me, and I give him a thankful smile in return.

My eyes wander down his bare chest to the jogging pants that sit haphazardly on his hips. The sound of him clearing his throat brings my eyes back to his.

“I said, good morning,” he repeats with a smirk as he sits in front of me and starts eating. I’m a woman of little words in the morning, a habit I’ve been trying to break since moving in but have failed miserably. Instead, Mason conforms to my ways and lets me drink my coffee and eat in silence, something I used to crave with my last roommates.

There are a few elephants in the room. One has Serena’s name on it, but we’ve both been avoiding that conversation. Then again, I don’t have anything more to say about that.

“Ready to go back to the rehearsal hall today?” he asks, squirting ketchup on his plate.

Sucking in a deep breath, I nod. “Yeah. I think so. It’s gonna be weird, though.”

“Because you haven’t played?”

I knew he’d ask me about it, considering he hasn’t this whole time, and I nod, focusing on my food.

I’ve been counting down to this day, but I feel ready, which is great since I didn’t know if I’d be okay when I gave a return date to my director. Though my therapist said she’d write up the paperwork to allow for a longer medical leave, I refused. I desperately want to get back to my routine, and this is the first step.

It grows awkward between us, and I’m not sure what to say, but thankfully, Liam walks in and interrupts us. He’s standing in his underwear with messy hair and no fucks to give.

“Dude,” Mason says when Liam takes a piece of sausage from his plate.

Liam tries to lean over and give Mason a kiss on the cheek, but Mason pushes his face away. “Sometimes you’re the most annoying human on the planet.”

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