Page 35 of Between Regrets and Promises

I expect them to make a smartass comment about how I give them whiplash with my mood swings, but neither of them do. They’d be right, of course. Being so close to Sophie, smelling her in my house long after she’s gone, fucks with my head. I’m constantly reminding myself that she doesn’t deserve my wrath, so I purposely keep my distance. It’s for her own good.

“Maybe I should move in, considering your third bedroom is available now that your mysterious roommate has moved out,” Maddie singsongs. The girl is relentless.

“I’d move out before either of you could move in.” I take a swig of my beer and try to ignore them.

“What the hell is your problem?” Liam barks. I can tell he’s pissed by the way I’m acting, but I kind of don’t give two shits about it. Instead of arguing with him, I finish my beer, then go grab another one. While I’m twisting the top, I overhear Maddie chatting with Sophie.

“Have you gotten any more messages on your dating app?”

The question freezes me in my tracks. Why the fuck is she on a dating app? Sophie doesn’t need that. Nothing but perverts and players hang out on those. I toss the cap in the trash and then pull the bottle of tequila from the cabinet. Without bothering to pour it in a shot glass, I take a swig. This day just keeps getting better.

“I haven’t been paying attention to it, honestly. Most of them are weird as hell,” she admits, and it makes me grin. How fucking selfish am I?

A part of me feels as if I’ve pushed her to this because I refused to give her a chance although it’s for her own benefit. If only I could look outside my own bullshit, but I don’t like me very much, so why would I expect her to? Sophie needs a man who doesn’t have issues—someone who can love her unconditionally, wholeheartedly—and right now, I can’t be that man. I don’t know if I’ll ever be.

Once the alcohol swarms through me, I walk back to the living room and try not to pay attention to anything they’re saying about dates and guys. I focus on the TV I can’t hear because they’re being way too loud. Though I have questions, I keep them to myself, not wanting to act like a jealous ex or something.

Maddie’s voice lowers. “I think you should go for it. You’re hot as hell.” Her voice grows louder as she continues. “There’s bound to be someone out there for you who isn’t afraid to commit.”

That’s a direct jab toward me, which I more than deserve. Sophie promised she’d keep what happened between us, but I often wonder if her sisters know. Especially by the way Maddie’s staring at me right now.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I ask because I wasn’t paying attention. I’d zoned out again.

“I asked if you were on a dating app too?” Maddie smirks, knowing damn well I’m not.

A roar of laughter escapes from Liam, and all I can do is flip him off.

I narrow my eyes and scoff. “Too many people are serial daters on those apps. Don’t have time for that.”

A blush hits Sophie’s cheeks, and I wish I could tell her about the way I’ve felt since the moment I laid eyes on her. I wish I could speak candidly and put it all out on the line, but in the end, I know I’d just hurt her. It’s who I am, and she deserves better. She sure as fuck deserves better than some dude on Tinder too. I drink my beer, feeling the alcohol flow through my veins while the ceiling seems to close in on me.

I stand and go to the kitchen to grab another drink. When I turn around, Sophie stands with her hands on her hips, not allowing me to avoid her this time.

“What’s your deal?” she asks boldly.

I glare at her, studying her chestnut eyes while her mouth purses in a firm line.

“Nothing,” I say.

“Nothing,” she whisper-hisses. “Nothing? You’ve obviously got an issue with me being here or perhaps just me in general.”

Her frustration causes me to chuckle.

“I don’t have an issue with you, Soph.”

“Then Maddie?”

I shake my head and lean against the counter. “I’ve had a shitty day.”

She helps herself to the fridge and pops open a can of soda, then starts drinking it. “So I guess every day I’m around, it’s a shitty day then? Because that’s what it seems like.”

I can see her pulse ticking rapidly in her neck and can only imagine how much courage it took for her to confront me. Though she’s sassy as sin and usually speaks her mind, this is a bolder side she’s showing. One I really like. When it comes to me, she typically holds back. One day, I wish she’d just give it to me—tell me off and say how much she hates me—so then I can bury these dangerous emotions I’ve kept at bay, forget about her, and forget about what happened.

Though I’d never be able to forget her.

“No,” I croak out. “Not exactly.” Sophie is like a ray of sunshine on my dark, stormy days, and she has no idea I use my asshole ways to hide behind my true feelings.

With pursed lips, she tilts her head at me, giving me a chance to explain myself, but I don’t.

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