Page 90 of Between Regrets and Promises

On nights when it’s just the two of us, sometimes she reads on the couch, and I have to actively concentrate on not getting a hard-on while her feet rest in my lap. It’s not her feet, but how she allows me to glide my fingers across her cute toes. She made a comment once about her feet aching, so I offered to rub them, and now I find it hard to keep my hands away. Even if it’s asfriends,a part of me can’t help those feelings of wantingmore. If we crossed those lines, we’d never be able to return to being friends like this. As both of us are still dealing with our demons, it’s not the right time. The timing is always wrong, but damn, how I wish it were right.

It’s one of those nights when Liam is out and Maddie has dance class, so Sophie and I will be alone. I have no desire to go out like before. I like knowing where Sophie is, and that she’s safe. She probably thinks I have no life outside these walls, but I don’t want that life anymore. Hustling at work to make sure thatpromotion stays mine and protecting Sophie are my priorities now.

After work, I head to the gym for an hour, and then I come home to shower. The moment I walk in and hear Sophie sniffling in the living room, my heart pounds with concern.

“Soph?” I ask, dropping my workout bag and walking toward her. She has a book propped up on her knees as she lounges back on the cushions, and I hear her suck in a deep breath as she cries harder. “Hey.” I shake her shoulder a bit, and she startles, whipping her book as she jumps.

I put both hands up in surrender, stepping back. “It’s just me.”

She yanks out her earbuds I didn’t realize she was wearing and scowls. “You scared me to death!”

“Is that why you threw your ten-pound book at me?” I snicker, then reach down to grab it off the floor.

“It was a knee-jerk reaction,” she says defensively. When I hand it back, she wipes her tears away. Her eyes are red and cheeks flushed.

Stepping closer, I cup her face and study her. “Are you okay? Were you crying?”

Sophie’s eyes flutter before her head leans into my palm. But then as if an alarm went off, she snaps back into place and pulls away. “I was reading and listening to music, and the combo made me emotional.”

She sets her book down and then rounds the coffee table and walks toward the kitchen. “How was your day? And your workout? I should’ve known you were home. You smell sweaty.”

She’s rambling, which usually means she’s nervous. The thought makes me smile because, after all this time, I’d assume she wouldn’t be. Especially if she only saw me as a friend.

I follow her and respond. “All good. Glad to be back although we’re dealing with some intense cases. Gives me good fuel formy boxing, though.” I reach into the fridge for a bottle of water, then suck it down. “How was your day? Anything exciting?”

Sophie walks around me, grabbing items out of the fridge as she speaks. “It was fine. We’re working on some new music, so that’s always fun. Found a new client for some tutoring lessons and that starts in a week, which is nice. Otherwise, same ole, same ole. Lennon and Maddie met me for lunch, I went to grief circle and then had coffee with Caleb. Oh, that reminds me?—”

Checking the time on my phone, it’s close to eight and I didn't realize it was so late. She sure kept busy, though.

“Would you mind if we did the dinner party this Saturday night? I cleared it with everyone else’s schedule, so if you’re free, I’ll make it official and get started on the menu.”

“The menu? How fancy are we talking here?” I lean against the counter as she sets a pan on the stovetop and starts cooking the meat. There’s cheese, lettuce, sour cream, and tomatoes on the counter, which means she’s making tacos, my favorite.

“I have the main course narrowed down to three items, so I’m still deciding, but I’m thinking formal wear. Not suit and tie fancy, but please take ten minutes to shower…”

As she continues talking about appetizers and side dishes, a part of me is worried she’s drowning herself to avoid her true feelings. She’s talked about it some, but it’s been a while since she’s mentioned it. She goes to her grief circle, but I don’t know how much she opens up there. It’s been a month since the incident, and I wonder if she’s blocked it out of her mind entirely. Hopefully, the meetings she’s attending are helping, especially since it’s essentially become a weekly routine for her.

I’ve done enough schooling to know this is a common occurrence for trauma victims. They go into shock or block it out, which is an avoidance tactic. The shit that asshole put her through was enough to traumatize anyone. Considering howthings ended, I wouldn’t be surprised if she deals with it withoutactuallydealing with it.

After she finishes cooking, she sets everything out and hands me a plate of two tacos, made the way I like them.

“Thank you, Sophie.” I reach for her wrist so she’ll stop moving for a second. She’s hell-bent on racing a million miles per hour. “You didn’t have to cook for me, but I appreciate it, especially since you made tacos.”

“Well, I was starving waiting for you and contemplated eating without you.” She grins, and it makes my heart pound harder.

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” I say, releasing her. “Now I feel bad.”

“Nah, don’t. I was caught up in my book anyway.” She waves me off, but I don’t miss the hint of blush on her cheeks. It’s as if being caught doing something nice has given her true feelings away.

We take our plates and drinks to the living room and settle on the couch.

“So what book are you reading anyway? And why did it make you cry?” I ask before taking a massive bite.

“Don’t make fun. I was reading a romance novel, and the main characters can’t be together, which makes my chest ache. The angst and tension are intense.” I study her as she talks about them as if they’re real people. “And before you say anything, yes, I know it’s just fiction.”

I chuckle when she rolls her eyes. “Damn, you reading my mind now?”

“I’ve learned a lot about you this past month.” She smirks. “Then I was reading it while listening to a sad song, and my heart shredded.”

---