Page 115 of Devious Truth

“So, there’s no danger then. From the O’Brien family, at least.” A small weight lifts from my chest, but not enough to make breathing any easier. That won’t happen until Ivantouches me, or smiles at me, or does anything that suggests I haven’t completely lost him.

“I doubt it.” He glances around the space. “It’s being looked at, but nothing points at trouble with the Irish.”

It feels different than the first time he was here. He’s not judging or inspecting. This time he seems as though he’s committing the place to memory. Like it’s the last time he’ll see it and wants to remember it.

He turns on his heel, like he’s getting ready to walk out. To leave me.

“I’m really sorry, Ivan.” Tears build, and my words pour out. “I should have gone straight to you when Kieran texted me. I have a lot of excuses for why I did what I did, but in the end, it was fear. I was afraid for Caroline and me and you, and I just…I was afraid of trusting you, of losing you if something went wrong.”

He stops. His body goes rigid. “It’s all right, Vee.”

“No. It’s not, and I’m sorry.”

He drops his chin to his chest, casting me with a side-glance. His decision’s been made.

“Vivek will let you know when he’s done across the hall. Two days, tops.” He grabs the handle on the door. “The groceries will be here within the hour.”

My throat dries. Air refuses to enter my lungs.

Ivan steps out of my apartment, shutting the door quietly behind him, taking my soul with him. Pain, raw and all-consuming, bursts through me.

I sink onto the couch, my chest heaving as I try to suck in air. It’s too hard. It’s too much. I blink away the tears, but more come, and then a tsunami of them.

I’ve ruined everything. I’ve been so afraid of losing him, I pushed him away.

How am I supposed to live now, when he left with my heart in his pocket?

The four days I’ve spent away from home and Vivienne have been like crawling naked over hot coals. By the time I deplane my jet and climb into the car waiting for me, I’m wound so tight it would take only a tiny spark to set me off.

Yosef must know it, because he starts the car in silence, cutting off the radio when it starts to play. He drives us out of the airport, heading toward the city.

I scroll through my phone as we make our way into the heart of the city. No messages from Vee. I’ve typed and deleted no less than a hundred texts since I left her apartment two nights ago. Apologizes, explanations, but none of them were sent.

It would be easier, for both of us, if I would have simply draped her over the back of her couch and punished her. Except it would have ended with the same problem. We’d be sated, butVee would still be uncertain. She would have the same nagging doubts.

She needs time. Freedom to explore what she really wants without me pushing, without me demanding. If I’m lucky, she’ll come to the right decision. If I’m not, I’ll spend the rest of my life nursing this broken fucking heart.

I wince at that thought.

My phone rings while I’m staring at the blank text message screen.

“You’re back.” Alexander states on the other end of the line.

“Very astute of you.” I flick a thread from my pants. “Did the pilot call you when we touched down?”

“How did the meeting go?” He ignores my jab.

“I didn’t meet with him. I only wanted to put eyes on the situation.”

“And?”

“Declan O’Brien is no longer in charge. His cousin has taken over. There’s no threat to us from them.” I wasn’t going to leave it to chance about Declan being gone. I needed to see for myself that he’d been displaced and dispatched.

“So, Kieran acted on his own then.”

“He was loyal to Declan until the end. And any man who had been on Declan’s side, has been taken care of by his cousin, Killian. Kieran saw what was coming and took off.”

“That means Vivienne is safe.”

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