“Let’s hold off until after we get home, and then I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.” She squeezes my hand.
“Sounds good.”
Chapter Twenty
“Thank you for coming.”
When I told Alice I was ready to hear about my mom’s past, she said she would love to tell me, but she felt someone else should be involved in the conversation—my father. I’d never met him and didn’t even know his name. She left the decision up to me, but in the end, I decided it would be best to hear him out. From what she says, the man has been wanting to get to know me for a long time.
Alice comes around the corner, and I don’t hide the surprise on my face as Elijah walks in behind her.
“Hello, Sage.”
“Elijah?” I look between the two questioningly.
“I have a lot of explaining to do,” he says. “That is, if you’re willing to listen.”
I close my mouth and nod. Elijah takes the chair across from the couch I’m on, while Alice sits on the love seat.
“Abi was always such a free spirit,” Alice begins. “I loved how she always dreamed big and didn’t let anyone hold her back. I know you saw her as someone who conformed to the way the high class lives, but those pictures weren’t the real her. She played the game because Father required it. He was a senile old man who would use whatever punishments necessary to teach a lesson. He’d been a ruthless businessman, yet an even more merciless family man. It’s a surprise he didn’t kill your mom’s spirit long before.”
I smile at the thought of my mom being free. She always said this life suffocated her.
“She dated and did whatever Father demanded, but she also had a life on the side. She would go out to art shows, concerts, and clubs. She wanted to live her life to the fullest.”
“I always knew Abi from afar,” Elijah interjects, “but she changed my life one day.”
He gives me a sad smile.
“The day we officially met was a tough day for me. It was the first anniversary of my wife dying. I was in a bad place. I was trying to remind myself that Martha wouldn’t have wanted me to continue to wallow and be disconnected from the world. I had begged for a sign that I wouldn’t always feel this hole in my heart when Abi walked in. It was a little diner off Chesapeake. She was beautiful, but that’s not what caught my attention. It was the pure joy on her face. I marveled at how easily her smile came. I wished I could feel an ounce of that happiness, and then she turned her smile on me. She took the seat next to me at the counter before striking up a conversation with the waitress. Once she ordered, she turned to me.”
Elijah pauses for a moment, lost in a memory. I wait patiently as he works through his mind.
“You know, I can still tell you every word of our conversation. It’s still as clear as day to me. I confided in her. A nineteen-year-old girl who knew nothing of the pain I felt, yet I still felt I could tell her about what had been weighing me down. As soon as the last words spilled from my mouth, I felt the weight lessen. I felt a tiny pinch of grief settle.”
I give him a watery smile. “She was always trying to make others feel better.”
The smile he returns is much like my own. “I’m glad that didn’t change. I worried about her after everything she went through here.”
“What happened?” I prompt when it looks like he’s lost again.
“Sorry.” He clears his throat. “I enjoyed her company. I wanted to see her again, just as friends, but I knew I couldn’t ask that. So I left the ball in her court. I told her I went there every day at the same time. It wasn’t true, but I couldn’t stand the thought of losing the sunshine she brought with her. She smiled at me and said she would come and see me. It took a week before she came back. I showed up every single day, losing hope, but the moment she walked through the door, the time wasted was nothing. We became friends. I don’t know when it became more. Honestly, I would have never imagined myself touching another woman after my Martha.”
He gives me a sheepish smile. “I loved your mother, Sage. I truly did. But Martha was my one. Your mother knew and accepted that. She said that while Martha fulfilled a piece of me, she wasn’t there to fill that piece. Abi was there to be her own piece and fit in elsewhere. She was always so understanding. She always said she didn’t mind sharing me with Martha.”
Alice squeezes my hand gently. I glance up as she mouths, “You okay?” to me. I nod slightly.
“Anyway, I can’t pinpoint the moment it changed, but one day, it did. I felt more for her than just a friend. I knew it was wrong. She was basically twenty years my junior. Hell, she went to school with my youngest son. I tried to break it off, but she took it hard. Then I stopped meeting up with her. That didn’t stop her though. She showed up at my house demanding I tell her a reason why I was avoiding her. She was feisty, like you.”
I smile.
“When I sputtered out that I had inappropriate feelings for her, I thought she would run. Instead she kissed me. I was shocked, but I let her. Then she told me she felt the same. We agreed that we should keep it quiet for the time being since we didn’t even know what it was. It wasn’t until months later when we knew we loved each other that we discussed telling people. That’s about the same time we found out Abi was pregnant with you. I was so happy to have you, Sage. You have to believe me. I wanted you. Please don’t think I ever didn’t.”
I smile weakly but urge him to continue.
“We met with your grandfather to tell him the news. I knew he wouldn’t approve, but he took it harder than even I thought. He punched me, then threw me out on my ass. I figured he would calm down and then we could talk about it like normal human beings. Instead, he forbade Abi from seeing me. I tried to contact her, but it seemed someone else was always around running interference. Then one day she disappeared.”
“She didn’t disappear from just him. She disappeared from all of us,” Alice picks up the story. “After they told Father, he lost his shit. He trashed his office, all while screaming at Abi. He told her he wanted her to abort it and even made the appointment. He wanted to go with her, but I talked him into letting me go instead. When we got there, she didn’t want to do it. I’ll be honest, I didn’t want her to do it either. So we made a plan. She would hide it until she couldn’t, and then she would go off and have the baby. Once you were born, she could come back and everything would be great. She was planning to come back and live with Elijah. She had it all planned, but she had to pretend not to love him anymore, so she dated boys that Father set her up with. She followed his rules up until the moment she knew she had to go. Then she took a bag full of cash and left. She promised to keep in touch, but those first few months were hard. Then she had you, and she said she couldn’t come back. She said Father threatened to ruin Elijah.” She turns to Elijah. “She loved you. She said she couldn’t live with herself if anything happened to you, that if she came back, she would spend her life waiting for the shoe to drop. Waiting for Father to finally make his move. So she stayed away. She called periodically, but I could tell she was drifting further and further from us. Her hour-long calls turned into minute calls.”