Page 45 of Unpredictable

“About that… I lied,” I murmur.

“What did you just say?”

“I didn’t. I haven’t slept with anyone but you since last year.”

“Peach. Fucking. Panties,” Victoria growls.

“Taken off by their owner as a favor to me.” I cringe. “I never touched her. Even if I wanted to, she’s not my type.”

“What the fuck, Sterling? Explain!” V explodes.

“Calm down please. It’s not good for the baby,” I plead.

Victoria shrieks before flinging herself back down on the couch. “Talk,” she demands.

“Look, you know how I feel about relationships. All I’ve ever seen is women leave as soon as they have what they want. So, it was easier to be single. And then you and I got together.” I rub my face in frustration before looking at her again. “Look, we’ve been friends since childhood. I’ve always loved you, just like I love Tinsley. You two are the only women in my life who are a constant. Then we got together, and that changed. Yes, you’re still a constant, but my feelings began to change. I started to get fucking ideas.”

“What kind of ideas?” she cuts me off.

“The forever kind, which you know goes against everything I am. So, I cocked up this elaborate fucking story with Jemma to make it look like I cheated on you. Which I didn’t. I never fucking touched her. As soon as you were out the door, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t fucking breathe, V. Jemma called me an idiot, which I feel is a vast understatement, but it is what it is.”

“Then what happened?”

“Then we were apart. I tried to move on. I really did, but I couldn’t do it. My dick wouldn’t work. My heart wasn’t in it. I wasn’t attracted to them. Their kisses weren’t your kisses. Their hands weren’t your hands. It all just felt wrong. I’m 99 percent sure there’s a picture of my face now in some girl’s bathroom on campus warning other women that my dick doesn’t work, but that’s okay. My dick wouldn’t work because it only wants you.”

I watch Victoria’s whole body start to shake. “Are you okay?” I ask before she starts laughing out loud.

“Your dick doesn’t work?” she says with a laugh.

“Well, it only works for you, clearly,” I defend myself and my dick.

“Oh, Sterling.” She laughs harder.

“Anyways.” I glare. “Before Samhain, I decided to win you back. Then I did. I held you all night long, and it was fucking awesome. Then the doubts settled in. You said you loved me, and I panicked. How could you love me? What does love look like? Can I even love? I don’t deserve you. So, I did what I do best. I fucked it up.”

“You’re an idiot.” She shakes her head.

“I know. Trust me, I know. I told myself that if I ever had the chance to have a third chance, I would take it. I needed a sign, be it now or be it later on.” I walk slowly towards her and lay my hand on her stomach without breaking eye contact. “Clearly this is my sign.”

“Your sign?”

“My sign that I deserve you. I deserve this baby. That we could actually be happy. I want a family, Victoria. I want the house with the white picket fence, kids, and a dog. I want it with you and only you.”

“What if that’s not what I want?” she challenges.

“If you don’t want a white fence or a dog, we can work that out later. Those details can come later.”

“What if I don’t want you?” she throws back.

“Well, then shit’s going to get weird. I’ll beg. I’ll plead. I’ll chase off whatever guy you try and be with. I won’t stop until you give me a chance, a real chance.”

Victoria bites her lip while staring at me. “You hurt me,” she says softly.

“And I regret it. I’ll regret it until we’re old and grey.”

“I can’t say that I will give you another chance. Not at this moment. I don’t trust you, not after everything. What I can promise is to allow you to be in our child’s life. I can promise to be your friend and rebuild that trust. We have a while to go in this pregnancy. During that, we need to be focused on our baby, not us. Do you think you can do that for me?” The vulnerability in her voice about kills me.

“I would do anything for you. Anything in the entire world.”

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