Page 105 of One of Them Girls

“Merry Christmas.”

“You too,” I grumble as he makes his way to the next door.

Then I head back to my bed, determined to sleep the entire break.

19

Cassi

“Didn’t Xavier bring you a gift?”Dad asks as he’s cleaning up the living room.

We had a pretty tame Christmas compared to years past, but there were still plenty of presents. It was bittersweet. I could tell we were all missing Ryan, but we muscled through, creating new memories. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do for now.

“He did. I think I’ll open that one in my room though.”

Mom laughs. “Why don’t you go do that, honey? I’ll start with dinner.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

I give them each a hug, running up to my room.

I won’t lie. I wanted to open his gift first thing this morning, but I must be a masochist. I made myself stop. I made myself wait, knowing it would be hard to resist the urge to text him once I saw whatever gift he got me.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I hold the box in my lap. I start by carefully unwrapping the paper. A plain brown box greets me. Pulling the tape from the top, I slowly open the flaps.

Then I gaze inside.

My eyes burn with unshed tears as I take in the object.

I pull it out, no longer able to hold it in.

He’s perfect.

That’s all I can think as I stare at the piece of wood in my hands.

No, the tree.

That’s what it is. Xavier somehow was able to get the part of the tree that I showed him, which held mine and Ryan’s initials. Not only was he able to remove it without damaging it, he made it into something I could hang on the wall. The reminder of that memory that means so much to me.

The box falls to the floor as I hold it to my chest, hugging it as if I was hugging Ryan. I let the mixture of grief and relief fill my body.

I miss Ryan so much. This gift means more to me than anything anyone else could have gotten me. The only thing that could best it would be bringing Ryan back, which is impossible.

I rock back and forth until I’m able to calm down. As soon as I have a grip on my emotions, I move to grab my phone, but a card on the floor captures my attention.

I pick it up, seeing the nickname Xavier calls me across the front of the envelope.

Adra.

My heart hammers, not sure I’m ready to read his words, but knowing I have to. I cannot stop myself.

Adra,

I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing anymore, but I hope I am. I know how much this meant to you and Ryan. I know you were worried it would disappear one day. I wanted to take that anxiety away from you. I would do anything to keep you from feeling the pain of that loss again. I hope you look at this every day and remember that even if Ryan isn’t here with you physically, he will always be in your heart.

Love,

Avi

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