Page 110 of Forget Me Not

Wisteria stood for immortality, he’d been told, or at least a long life—although it was also poisonous, apparently, and had to be handled with care.

Ray didn’t concern himself with that for the moment, staring at the garden and the side of Cassandra’s house, while, inside the shop, on the sales floor, Cassandra, Benny, Cal, and Penn discussed Ray’s problem. The gardener had returned to his work of readying the soil for autumn and winter, a quiet process, at least, which meant Ray could listen in without much overlaying noise to distract him.

“We went out to the alley again this morning.”Benny, with the most experience using magic as humans used it, was the one doing most of the talking so far.“I took pictures for you in case you might spot anything, but I couldn’t find a single thing with an obvious magical signature. No traps, no lines, not even suspicious graffiti.”

“Ray couldn’t detect anything either. Not a whiff.”Cal seemed especially displeased, but that could have been because he didn’t have precise knowledge of what his parents were up to at the moment. Calvin had driven Lis home early that morning and had to be back in Los Cerros by early evening, and he was not messaging his son with updates. Penn found it all amusing, but she also needed something to be amusing today.

“Ray couldn’t even find a reason for him to have been in that alley in the first place,”Penn pointed out.“But the garbage was collected since then, and it was probably a stray scent that drew him over.”

“He does that,”Cal agreed,“gets distracted by smells despite himself.”

That alley had smelled of plenty of things, even after a garbage pickup, but Ray didn’t think rotting food and wet paper and animal piss would have struck him as odd enough to make him check it out by himself. The spraypainted artwork had grown in detail over the last few days, but still wasn’t worthy of note. Cal and Benny had wandered closer to the building that had been the actual crime scene, or attempted crime scene. Ray had watched them peer in windows, but from a distance, not wanting to get accused of contaminating any investigations. The building next to that had a chain link fence around it, which was new. It didn’t look occupied, not legally, anyway.

“You’d think if he could handle the stench of a city alley, he could handle one magic shop.”Cassandra was rearranging a table display while talking to them.

“Well, there’s more going on in here today,”Benny reasoned.“You put up more protections after my call this morning?”

Benny was being extra cautious and rightfully so. Nonetheless, Ray scratched the tip of his nose at the memory of the two protection charms now in his already stuffed pockets.

“You don’t have to help us, you know that,”Cal said, so quietly.“At this point, I wonder if the department will even pay you. And while the risk is minimal, at least to you, it does exist.”

Ray imagined Cassandra waving that off.“A few more wards in turbulent times are not a bad thing.”

“Turbulent times.”Penn heaved a breath. They needed to get her more caffeine soon. Ray as well. A lot was happening today and he would need even borrowed strength.

“He looked the same to me when he came in,”Cassandra remarked.“No tie and his shirt open a few buttons, which is a nice look for him, but the same otherwise. You said yesterday he was worse?”

Ray clenched a hand, then unclenched it. He’d put the suit back on because he couldn’t go out in sweatpants. He hadn’t worn a tie because… he didn’t know why. He just hadn’t. Penn, in her wrinkled suit, had studied him for a while but hadn’t said anything.

“Well, yes. He was even more tired than he was today. But yesterday was emotional.”Cal’s argument was weak even at a distance.

“It’s not even noon yet,”Cassandra pointed out.“He could be flat on his back by the end of the day. Anyway.”She moved. The others followed her. Ray turned his head ever so slightly. “You said an older fairy tried to make him remember and there was significant resistance? If that is the spell still working on him, it’d be sucking in a lot of energy for something like that. Were or not, his energy isn’t limitless. Oh.”Cassandra put something down, a box maybe.“Reminds me. I didn’t mention this last night because you said he was sleeping. One of the users I got in touch with, the wizard up north, is particularly interested in the fact that this has hit a ma—atakenwere. He asked if you were a were too, Cal, and how much you knew about the bond. Most people don’t know as much as they think they do, he said.”

Cal must’ve bristled. Cassandra’s tone grew appeasing.

“Not to insult you. He didn’t, either. Weres go by feelings and that is enough for them.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!”Cal muttered, barely audible.

Cassandra talked over him.“Even putting their feelings into words is a challenge for a lot of them. Then he said a couple more things that will likely make sense to you: the connection is there whether you further it or not. It gets stronger if you nurture it, but it’s possible to Reject each other and get through it if you do it early enough. But that works best with strangers. If you know each other at all, that will be harder—and it will still be hard for the wolf. It always will be.”

Ray clenched a hand again.

Cal didn’t like that news.“Okay. And?”

“About the Rejection.”Cassandra hesitated.“The bond doesn’t sever, exactly. He said it’s still there. Like…a receptor waiting for a signal that doesn’t come. I have no idea what that means in this context, but Janowitz said it like it meant something. It… has Ray been acting funny? Depressed?”

Cal started to sputter.

“He had what looked like a panic attack yesterday.”Penn said it, maybe so Cal didn’t have to. “And he’s tired, of course. But he still wants things, quite strongly. If that helps.”

Ray scowled, then realized he was on his feet and moving toward the shop. He stopped in the open doorway leading from the garden to the section of the store full of plant cuttings and terrariums. Cal looked in his direction the moment Ray’s shadow fell across the floor.

“Ray says no,” Cal said without turning from Ray. “But he’d say no even if heweredepressed. Why?”

Cassandra glanced over to Ray as well. She was in orange today. “I will try to explain it how he did. You know, what’s it called? Dopamine, or is it serotonin and such? How those work in happy brains when we are around people we like and love? It’s like that but magnified for weres, essentially, he thinks. Around their… you knows. Taking that away does a number on their brains and thus their bodies. And they tend to get extremely, perhaps clinically, depressed. Some try to ignore that by vanishing or going all wolf.”

Pain was easier to deal with as a wolf. Ray didn’t voice it, letting Cassandra carry on.

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