Page 53 of Trevor Takes Care

Maybe you deserve it and need it. And spankings and whatever else Sky wouldn’t admit to wanting.If you were here…

If I were there, Sky prompted,what would you do?

Something about the same as a spanking at the moment for making Sky twitch in his seat and pay attention.I’d tell you it’s all right, whatever it is you really want to call me. Or yourself. I’d tell you I’ve been waiting for you to say it.

His phone went dark, then lit up again.Could I do that from here? You’re not angry?

Trevor was and wasn’t angry. He was tired, and he’d been happy before Sky had messaged him, and now he was on the verge of being happy again.

I’m going to call you, Trevor said instead of any of that.You don’t need to talk if you’re working. I just want to listen to you for a while. I like knowing you’re busy… just not too busy, so you don’t get sick or anything.

Sky called him, exhaling shakily when Trevor said his name.

“Did you know I used to sit in the room while you were drawing, and I’d pretend to be doing something, but really I’d be listening to you, and breathing in and out, and wishing for that stillness all the time?” Sky asked all in a rush, then caught his breath so hard it sounded like a hiccup.

Trevor tried to be as cautious as G.G. “Stillness?”

“Peace,” Sky mumbled, probably biting his lip or his fingernails. “Thestillnessinside when I know that you want me there. That you weren’t asking anything of me but me. I slid to the floor once. We were on your couch, and I moved down so I could lay my head on the cushion by your knees. You were so in the zone, you didn’t notice for a long time. An hour at least. The best hour. Even though I was fidgeting and wishing… wishing that I wouldn’t fidget so much. That I could stay like that and keep you pleased with me.”

“Sky.” Trevor closed his eyes. “Oh, Sky.”

Sky pulled in a long breath. “I have work to do,” he went on, too brightly to be anything else but terrified. “But it will feel like that again, knowing you’re listening to me. That you don’t want anything from me but me. I can be…” he stopped himself, moving so restlessly that his chair creaked, then finished, “yours.” Sky swept on, talking around the fingernail he was anxiously chewing, “I don’t think you know what it did to me to say that the other night. I shouldn’t have ignored you the next day but I thought… I should have known better.”

“You should have talked to me.” Despite the warmth flooding through him, Trevor was angry after all. “We should talk now.”

“Later,” Sky promised breathlessly. “I really am busy.”

“You keep saying that and then never talking.” Trevor didn’t give in, but also didn’t hang up, listening to Sky’s breathing ratchet up and then even out, only to kick back up again with whatever panicked thought Sky was having while his brain got stuck in hyperdrive.

“Trevor,” Sky said at last, “give me this now. Please. It’s all so much and I just… I can only focus on the one thing. It’s like… everything hinges on that and if I stop to feel anything, I’ll break or explode or… or cry or something and that doesn’t help anybody. I’m trying to be good.”

“You are good. You’re so good, doing your best.” Trevor interrupted the panic, his tone calm, his voice low. “I believe you. We can talk later—but soon, Sky. I can’t not talk to you like we did before. We arenotdoing that again.” Which was a bullshit thing to say because Trevor had been the one to break up with Sky in the first place, but Sky didn’t need to hear that in this moment. “You work, and I’ll be here, listening to you. You can tell me everything later.”

“That’s what you’re like.” Sky’s answer didn’t seem to make any sense, but Trevor was used to not following the genius and waited. “That’s what I meant to say. When I started telling you all these things. Sorry. I… that’s what you’re like.”

“I don’t understand. Explain yourself, genius wizard. Breathe, then explain yourself.”

Sky huffed, but his breathing was slowing down and staying that way. “Understimulated. Like I was when you made me realize it. You’re understimulated in this one way, Brian Trevor. You haveso muchdrive to take care of people. That’s why I expected you’d find someone else, or eventually want to go to clubs or meetups so you could make some other sub—some othersubmissivehappy. Long before this, I thought you would do that. But I should have guessed something more personal and intimate would suit you better. That’s your way. You take care of two people, and a dog and a cat, but that’s not enough for that heart of yours. I don’t mind about G.G…. No, I do. I do mind, a little, for dumb reasons and not-so-dumb ones. Like that he gets to touch you and I can’t. He gets to look at you all the time. Which is hateful. And then it turns out he knows about these things and isn’t weird about them like me, and I don’t like it when people are better than me at things I want to do. That’s also hateful.”

Trevor frowned slightly. “Sky…”

“But I don’t mind for whatever reasons you think,” Sky sailed onward. “You’re already different with me because of him. You’re learning. You’re less forgiving with me, and you might feel guilty about it but it’s… it’s good, Trevor. It’s good for me when you’re mean. You can’t let me get away with things or I’ll keep trying. But you aren’t a dick about it. Even if you hurt me, punish me, it’s not because you’ve been drinking Asshole Alpha Male Juice. It’s not like that at all, and now you get to spread your wings and be even better. It will make you sharper, you clever, clever dragon.”

Trevor stared at nothing for several seconds. “I’m not…”

“Hmm.” Sky hummed into the phone and must have finally pulled his hand from his mouth. “Are you going to stay with me now while I do this? It’s not too much?”

Trevor had been the one to want this. He shut his eyes and nodded before saying, “You barely ask anything of me. You could ask for more and I wouldn’t mind.”

Sky groaned. Trevor would have said he was annoyed but then Sky murmured, “I want to, so much,” before raising his voice and growling with determination. “Ah, fuck, I have to finish this. But soon, we’ll talk. I willtry. I promise.”

“Good boy,” Trevor said deliberately.

He listened to Sky’s silence and then his worried, “Am I? Am I really?”

“If you finish your work and then go to bed,” Trevor allowed, and eased back down on the bed. After a few minutes of nearly inaudible murmuring as Sky complained to himself and tried to regain his focus, the occasional soft clacking of keyboard keys resumed.

Chapter Twenty

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