Page 61 of Fox of Fox Hall

Fox shrugged. “I don’t think it matters muchnow.” And he didn’t want to get up. He was limp as a wrung-outcleaning rag, sick from wine and hurting Conall, but warm andcomforted by the steady rise and fall of Conall’s chest. WithinSaravar, there was nowhere else worth being.

Perhaps within the entire country, Fox’smind whispered. Perhaps within every inch of land and sea and aironce claimed by the fabled empire.

To be granted this and then have it taken awaywould hurt more than any humiliations outside the king’s door. Itmight have been near to what Conall had said he would feel if Foxreturned to Domvoda’s side.

Fox burrowed closer.

Conall’s breathing slowly evened out, but Foxdidn’t think he slept.

“Conall?” Fox murmured the name and wished theroom was dark, that he’d thought to put out the candle beforereturning to his place on the bed. “Are you angry with me?”

Conall’s arms tightened. Fox was crushed anddidn’t complain, rather liking it although he didn’t know why.

“You shouldn’t have to ask.” Conall exhaledthis, weary from a long day or from dealing with Fox. “No,” heinsisted, relaxing his hold so Fox could wriggle again if he wantedto. “I am many things right now but not angry. This is… not what Iwanted. But it’s better than I’d hoped just a few days ago. All ofthis has been better than I’d ever imagined.”

Fox had forgotten the length of time since hehad first spoken, truly spoken, with Conall. A few days, nothingmore. Yet Fox had climbed happily into his lap several times nowand been quite comfortable there. Conall had seen part of Fox’snightly routine, seen him as muddy and wet as a drowning rat. A fewdays, and Fox was prepared to sleep lying next to him and hadn’teven considered until that moment that he had no fear of beingtossed from the room. Even if Conall didn’t want Fox anymore, hewouldn’t do that. A few days and Fox had challenged Conall to breedhim.

Fox kept his face hidden and shook his headslightly but it couldn’t banish his heated thoughts. Days withConall and Fox acted as if they’d known each other for much longerthan they had. He had been Domvoda’s lover for months and not oncewould he have curled against him like this. He would never havedared.

Now he dared, and it felt good. More thangood.

Conall shouldn’t do this sort of thing to him.Fox sang the songs. He didn’t expect to live them.

“Passion-struck?” he whispered finally, tryingnot to restlessly shift in place but moving so much Conall threw aleg over him to keep him still.

Conall immediately took it back with a guiltycough but asked, “Is it that so hard to believe?”

Fox grabbed what was nearest, not Conall’s armbut Conall’s tail, and let go with a startled yip when herealized.

Conall, being Conall, took Fox’s hand and placedthe end of his tail in it before sighing again. “Fox?”

“You said I was scrawny,” Fox reminded him in atiny voice, tracing touches up and down the part of Conall’s tailbeneath the tip. “And badly dressed.” Fox remembered that too.

There was a moment of silence, Conall thinkingor waking up again. “When did I say that?”

“It was implied,” Fox insisted fussily, talkingnonsense instead of what really mattered or thinking about theintimacy of what he was doing with Conall’s tail. “Conall.” He knewConall was barely awake but Conall was the one who had told Fox allthese things, and if he didn’t want to deal with questions, heshould have gone to bed without saying anything. His tail wasremarkably thick, Fox noted at the same time, hot and soft. Heprobably didn’t even use any creams on it. “What did it feel like?”Fox asked, whispering again. “Unless you don’t want to tellme.”

“Fire,” Conall said, the barest murmur, “roaringin my ears. Nervous excitement in my veins. Trembling. I wasshaking all over. Then floating. Floating in warmth. Like the endof all the stories, the happy ones. Like I was home and in bed withno need to get up, because everything was as it should be, exceptthat you were far away. Then I was scared again.”

“Scared?” Fox echoed breathlessly.

“Scared.” Conall was certain. “And stunned. Ihardly knew what to do so I took too long to do anything. I’msorry.”

“What a strange thing to apologize for.” Nobodyin any songs Fox knew apologized for being passion-struck… exceptthe one warrior who had been struck for someone already quitemarried. But that had worked out in the end so Fox didn’t think itcounted.

“Then Domvoda…”

“I don’t want to talk about him now,” Fox cutthat off sharply. Enough had happened today. Fox couldn’t takemore. “I want to lie here instead.”Floating in warmth. “Youshould sleep.”

“I should,” Conall agreed, sounding halfway tosleep already. “But if this is my last night with you, I want toremember it—breathe, lovely.”

Fox drew in a breath before trying to getimpossibly closer. “If you want me to breathe and for my heart tobeat normally, then stop saying things.”

“Lovely?” Conall wondered.

“Last night,” Fox snapped.

Conall raised his head though Fox kept hisstubbornly down. “No?” Conall prompted after a while. “You don’twant that?” After another moment of Fox’s silence, Conall resettledagainst him. His tail flicked out of Fox’s hand, then flopped backover Fox’s side. He hummed. The sound was thoughtful.

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