I can’t let her take this away. Not this.
I swallow my tears, keep my nails digging into my skull, and force out a single word while I curl in on myself, begging to hide. “No.”
“What?” she demand.
“No!” My voice breaks, and I gasp a breath. “I’m an adult.You don’t—”Get to control my life anymore.
“You are still a child!” The conviction in her tone makes my eyes snap open; they’re filled with tears. She tosses a hand in my direction. “Just look at yourself right now, Calypso. You really think you’re not acting like a child?” Exasperation fills her voice. “What are you possibly doing to earn money that makes you so guilty you’re in tears and refuse to tell me?”
I don’t answer. Because I can’t.
I just can’t.
No words or logical thoughts are forming anymore.
Mom rambles on for much too long in response to my silence, and I’m glad I can’t really put whatever she’s saying into words. I don’t want to make any of it physical. I already know the tone will haunt me forever.
When she finally stands, I don’t know what she’s decided about anything. When the door to her room finally closes, I try my best to push away the idea that she’s on the verge of tears. I could be mistaken. It was hard enough seeing through my own.
The emptiness in the living room clenches a fist around my soul, and I don’t like how loud the silence in the house is building to. I have to get out.
Away.
Anywhere else.
Still latched to my backpack, I stand on wobbling legs and reach into the side pocket for my phone. Strength grows, even as teardrops splash against the screen, and I manage to make it out the front door, down the street.
Night is getting earlier and earlier, and we’re well past the the navy purple taste of dusk. I push my way through darkness.
Stare at my four contacts.
Dad.
Dad will come. I know that. I know if I call, he’ll come pick me up. I don’t have a singular doubt in my head he won’tquestion anything before driving across town to get me. But I also know he’ll take me back to his house, to a guest room, to his family,hisfamily that too often I feel like an intrusion upon.
Lex Hawthorn.
His name glares up at me. And I smell muffins and hear music and feel hugs.
Whatever the heck we are, I don’t have a single clear clue.
But I text him anyway.
Are you busy?
The reply comes within moments.
Lex: Too busy for you, sugar? Never.
More tears splash against the screen and my little pull-out keyboard. I choke on a sob and force my legs to go faster.
Can you come get me?
It feels wrong.
It’s late.
I have no intention of coming back tonight.