Page 75 of Loathing My Boss
“Clearly, it mattered to you. So it matters to me.”
“Can you even hear yourself?” I dump my bread loaf pan on my stove and triple check that I’ve turned my oven off before I stare at the knobs. “You’re the poster child for a good, healthy relationship, and I hold decade-long grudges that I act upon, in detail, withpictures.”
“Yeah. I know. I may have seen your Canva murderboard once or twice. I’ve wanted to ask you how progress with training Ender has been going…but…”
My eyes close. “Does everyone in your household know that I was trying to train the stupid cat?”
“Zakery told the family at dinner one day. All my brothers adore you, Crisis. Even Kyran smiled. Almost got half a laugh out of him.”
I’m walking into traffic at the next available juncture. “I’m a joke.”
“You aren’t. I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.”
“So, what then? I’munique? Amusing?”
“Yes, and yes, but you’re so much more. We like having you around. Kaleb smiles when you see him in the garden and wave. Zakery said he’d kill for your Canva Whiteboard talents when I showed him the first year wrap-up you made. Kyran once, when I asked him what he thought of you, said you weren’t annoying.”
My eyes widen. That ishugecoming from Kyran.
Viktor nods. “Exactly. You’re not a joke. You’re family.”
My flesh prickles. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth. And family tells family when something happens that could fester, because holding on to stuff like that tears a family apart.”
I am growing increasingly uncomfortable. “It’s not important anymore, Viktor. I’m over it. You don’t need to know how very stupid I am. Just know how verybadI am, and run while you still can.”
He closes the distance between us, takes my face in his good hand, and forces me to meet his eyes. “Crisis. I need you to understand what I’m about to say. Ineedyou to internalize it. Okay?”
Tall request. Didn’t he hear me explain how I’ve spent most of my life internalizing everything in order to ignore it when it hits me in the wild?
“I’d still love you if you hated me over a missed Oxford comma. I am not going anywhere unless you tell me,explicitly, that I am making life worse for you. I am not the poster child for anything healthy, I promise you that. I like that you’re trouble. I like the opportunities it creates for me to take care of you. I like that you’ve obsessed over me for a decade. I like you. I don’t just love you. I, genuinely,likeyou.” He latches a lock of my hair behind my ear before curling his finger beneath my chin. “Something that was important to you is important to me. You are important to me.”
He has said so before.
I don’t know what to make of the consistency.
I don’t know what to make of the fact I push his hand off me, then drop my forehead against his chest.
His arms close around me, and I say, “Be careful. Your hand.”
Voice rough, he murmurs, “Sweet pea.”
“We’re going to miss our motivational thoughts. Again. And you know how bad I am at doing them myself. You got nowhere close to writing thirty pages last time.”
He laughs, squeezing me as tight as he can. “That’s okay… I find this very, very motivational.”
“So you’ll be able to write thirty pages today?”
“Can your healthy fingers handle thirty pages of narration?”
Noncommittal, I shrug. “I guess we’ll find out.” On my very best days off…I’ve managed forty.
He kisses the top of my head. “I guess we will…”
Chapter 27
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