Page 87 of Loathing My Boss
“Twenty-seven,” she says, softly.
“Twenty-seven?”
“I have experienced twenty-seven flat tires in my life. I am officially averaging one per year I have been alive.” Her eyes open, pained. “Did you know? The average in a lifetime isfive?”
I…didn’t.
But I do know how to divert her thoughts before they can spiral, so I lean across the console and kiss her. Hard. “A tire doesn’t cost more than two hundred dollars. That’s petty cash for us.”
“Viktor,” she warns. “Remember? You’re not supposed to just saywe can buy a new onewhen stuff like this happens.”
I kiss her again. “I know. I know that, but that is the first reassurance I have. I’m gonna see if what we hit is in our tire or still on the road, okay? Then.” I peck her nose. “You’re gonna put the spare on for me. All by yourself.” I frame her face in my hand. “Does that work?”
“Are you going to lord over me while I, petite lass that I am, jump on the lug wrench?”
“Yes.”
A frail smile touches her lips. “Thank you.”
We need therapy.
But I smile, too.
“I’ll be right back.” I pop my door and step out.
She calls, “You’re lucky I’m young and spry, and know how to change a tire! Otherwise, we could be stuck here forhours.You’d miss all your final motivational thoughts, and then how would you stay motivated once you’re not at camp anymore?”
“I’m lucky for so many more reasons, Crisis. One day, maybe I’ll be brave enough to show you my list of them.” Chuckling, I shake my head. “It’s two hundred thousand words long,and counting.”
Satisfied when she blushes, I close the door, check the back left tire to find it’s been thoroughly shredded, no cause in sight, then march down the side of the road looking for stray debris.
Once I spot something that looks like it might be the culprit, woodcracksbehind me.
The sound fills my ears moments before metal…
Crunches.
Chapter 31
?
Threaten me like you mean it.
Crisis
The ground shakes beneath my feet as a tree falls on top of Viktor’s car. Gaping, I stand barely a yard away from what used to be a functional black Audi. The thick trunk creaks, caving the metal. Branches shake as limbs settle across the road.
I can’t move. I can’t breathe. All I can do is…stare while holding what remains of my breakfast bagel and mourning that I didn’t grab my chocolate milk before I decided I was going to follow Viktor to help sleuth the cause of this disaster.
I was planning to be the lovable Dr. Watson to his endearing Sherlock.
But. Well.
I think the mystery solved itself before the game was afoot.
It’s me.
It isalwaysme.
