Page 103 of Their Little Helper

DALLY

“I don’t care what you have to do, but if that woman pinches my ass again I’m going to make a scene.” Santos was in full-on demon lawyer mode as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Two words. Harassment. Charges.”

We’d found another limit…great.

No questions about how he liked hissandwichesand no ass pinches.

“First of all, I had no idea it would get this out of hand.” Repeating that for the third time wasn’t helping the situation…and it might’ve been making it worse. “Worst-case scenario, it should’ve been half this amount of people.”

I wasn’t even sure I was related to everyone who was at the fucking barbecue.

It was so packed the usual hiding places were all full, I’d lost Harley, and Santos had me cornered in my parents’ bathroom.

Milo was either going to be really glad he missed it or really disappointed…but best friends were supposed to help manage chaos, so he was going to owe me either way.

“There has to be at least fifty people in the backyard, Dally.” Somehow Santos’s ability to do math got worse the more upset he got, but I wasn’t going to point that out. “I’ve got bruises on my ass and Harley is either hiding somewhere or has been abducted.”

“I’m not sure how we’re related, so I don’t know what to do.” He was the one who’d said we needed to be polite. “I just know she’s old and Harley had to slip into work mode to keep her off his ass.”

Santos clearly didn’t look threatening enough.

“She’s a neighbor and not related to anyone.” My Dad appearing out of nowhere probably made Santos want to jump but he was still too pissed to let it show. “And I have put your other young man in the closet by the garage.”

“The closet?” Santos might’ve just found another limit but Dad cut him off before he could articulate it.

“It’s large, private, and he made a joke about going back in to stay safe, so I think he’s fine.” Dad had always been good at deflating drama because he had Santos trying not to smile. “He wanted some place to hide to update his flash cards.”

And to save his ass.

But the online flashcards he’d insisted on making were going to be helpful later when I tried to figure out who everyone was.

“Why are neighbors at a family barbecue?” Santos’s low growl said I needed to keep going with the questions. “And do youknow why there are so many people here? I kind of promised my partners that introducing them to my family for the first time would be low-key and I promised to behave. You’re making that very hard.”

I wasn’t threatening enough either because Dad smiled. “That’s sweet but you really shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep. That’s not a way to make a relationship last.”

Oh no he didn’t.

“Well, I can’t keep knocking them up every time we argue, so I’ll do the best I can.”

Flashing a smile at Santos, I made sure to look innocent and sweet. “I can’t be punished for being honest or for pointing out the flaws in other people’s logic.”

Santos didn’t have to think about his response. “Deal.”

He was frustrated enough not to care about fine print, which said it was time to escape family bonding time.

Turning back to my father, who didn’t look nearly sorry enough for the chaos we’d walked into, I glared at him. “If you don’t act more apologetic, I’m going to go back there and start answering everyone’s weird questions that they’ve been googling.”

That had his face scrunching up. “I saved Harley.”

“You stuck my sweet gay boyfriend in the closet.” I wasn’t sure that counted as saving him. “And that was after he had to glare at crazy old ladies to keep his bottom from getting bruised. If anyone gets to bruise his ass it’s me.”

Dad sighed, clearly not worried enough for his safety. “How about I promise to tell your mother there was an emergency and you couldn’t stay for dessert.”

I hadn’t even had any fucking dinner yet, so yeah, I wasn’t ready for dessert.

“I—”

Santos cut me off with one hand on my shoulder. “That would be a good plan. Thank you. Please give our apologies to your wife and explain that sometimes legal issues don’t keep business hours.”

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