Page 14 of Lane

“If you’re going to work for Jordan and do what you did today again, I can’t be there.” I decided to tell him the truth. Lying and saying I was fine wouldn’t do me any good.

“You were jealous. I don’t mean it as a bad thing. I wasn’t interested in him in the least. But, Ray, you have to figure your own shit out. You can’t make me feel guilty for being with anyone else when it’s clear you won’t allow yourself to have more than a friendship with me.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“It is. You’re just making it more difficult than it needs to be. At any point did I say I wasn’t attracted to you? No. I refuse to be jerked around though. I’m not interested in fucking you and moving on with my life. Since we’re being honest, I’m tired of endless first dates and emotionless fucks. I want to find someonewho desires me for more. Who doesn’t go on a date and can’t wait for it to end or decides to hit on other people in front of me. I deserve better.”

“Someone actually hit on other people in front of you?”

“Doesn’t sound believable, but it’s true. There are really shitty men in this city.”

“I’m sorry that happened.”

“I’m not. The men I’ve been out with showed their true colors on the first date. Whether flirting with others or having no interest in me once we met, at least I knew where I stood at the end of the night.”

“I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“And you never will. I’ll see you later, Ray.” He winked and opened his door, exiting the car the closing the door, while I sat with my eyes on him as he walked to the elevator.

Facing forward, I dropped my head back on the seat and groaned. What the fuck was I doing? How did I get so torn up over two men? Lane told me he was attracted to me, yet I didn’t say shit about going out with him. Then there was Alton, who was on a whole other planet than me. I couldn’t help desiring them both to the point of obsessively thinking about them.

A knock on the window had my eyes opening. Oleander stood on the other side with a grin. “You getting out?”

I sighed and unbuckled. I couldn’t stay in here all day, even if it was quiet. When I stood in front of Oleander, he grinned and handed me a case of guns. “Come on. We have to take these upstairs.”

The elevator was quiet; he didn’t say a word until we were in the storage room that was behind a false wall, where Jordan hid everything he brought with him to broker deals. There were samples of the drugs, a variety of guns, and a few stacks of cash he’d gotten as deposits.

“Are you okay?” Oleander asked as he closed the door, which automatically locked, leaving the expensive stuff behind us. He then hit a button that made a wall slide into place. The cops had searched this place repeatedly, but this hidden room was never found.

“I don’t know. What the fuck am I doing?”

“Driving yourself crazy by the look of it.”

“How would I make it work between us?”

“You and Lane or you an Alton?”

“Either. Both.”

He shrugged. “You’re asking the wrong person. I’m with no one, but I can give you a bit of advice. Every day, I see people who are happy in love. Jordan, Vail, and Hartley. Now Reghan and Barrett. JJ and his partners when they come by. Romeo and his if we visit them. The list goes on. What I see is, no matter the obstacles they’ve encountered, they’ve all found a way to make it work. It doesn’t matter how you get there, just as long as you do. If Lane and Alton are who you’re meant to be with, you’ll figure it out.”

“Lane I could see in a way,” I told him. “He’s always around, living here, trying to work, apparently. He’s from this kind of life. Granted, Jordan’s nothing like Edison, but the foundation is the same. Illegal dealings with a chance of being shot or arrested. Alton is nothing like that though. He has a medical practice. He’s one of the top family physicians in the city. Why would he want to stoop so low with me? He has the world at his fingertips.”

“He also comes here every month and is on every one of our contact lists,” Oleander said. “He’ll be here in a flash if we need him. Alton cares about us. He cares aboutyou. He’s been single since I’ve met him, and not once have I heard him talk about anyone else. When your name comes up, he gives the conversation his full attention. He may not be the same as us, but we’re still human, Ray. We laugh and cry. We love with ourwhole damn hearts. He may have a more public-facing job, but he’s like us in a lot of ways. You just have to stop focusing on the differences and look at the commonalities.”

6

ALTON

The flu was making its rounds in the Altair building. I had déjà vu from the last time I was here for the same illness. Back then, Jordan worried over Vail and Hartley, who weren’t his partners yet. Today, numerous guards were sick.

I’d already tested Ava, which came back positive, but she was rebounding fast. I didn’t give her an antiviral. Fortunately, Jordan and his partners didn’t come down with it. Unfortunately, it was spreading through the others in his staff. I’d been around countless patients with it and even fought a bout of it myself.

I stopped on the fifth floor to check in with Vail. The scent of homemade chicken soup floated to me before I was even in the door of his kitchen. Vail was busy at the stove with two big stock pots in front of him.

“Still feeling okay?” I asked.

Vail brushed his hands on his apron and lifted his head. Dark-brown hair fell onto his forehead, his face sweaty from cooking. He smiled. “Hey, Alton. Yeah, still good. I can’t say the same for the others. I think Sheldon might finally be over the worst of it. I’m trying to keep them hydrated, but it’s not easy.”

---