Page 13 of Asher's Answer
Charlie makes a sympathetic sound, but it doesn’t feel like he’s pitying me. I’m glad. I hate pity. “I’m here now,” he murmurs, and those words help the lingering fear recede further. “I’m here, and you’re safe.”
Warmth spreads through my chest and I blink back tears of relief. As embarrassing as breaking down in front of Josh was, I’m starting to think that maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that it happened. Especially not if this thing with Charlie works out.
* * *
A week later and I’ve officially settled into Charlie’s place. He had those first couple of days off, which helped us get used to living together, and then he went back to work. At first it was weird being treated like a child whenever he got home from work, but now I look forward to it. Hell, after the first few days, I’ve started to need it.
Charlie was right about routine helping. And now, after a week, slipping into my little headspace of an evening is starting to feel natural. I drift into my own little world where the stresses of adult life can’t touch me. I play with toys, or color, or watch cartoons and I’m in a happy little bubble where I feel safe and cared for. The feeling is addictive, and I can understand why this becomes a twenty-four-seven lifestyle for people. To be honest, even though I can’t see it being an all the time thing, I can see myself easily slipping in and out of my little headspace without too much drama.
And that scares me a bit, because there’s still a tiny voice at the back of my mind that says its abnormal.
However, the more time I spend being little, especially with Charlie’s encouragement, the less that voice bothers me.
I’m genuinely happier than I can ever recall being. Even when I’m big, I’m enjoying life. I’ve been applying for jobs and keeping the house clean and tidy while Charlie’s at work.
I still pause to pinch myself every so often, because Charlie is everything I’ve ever hoped for in a partner. Despite there being almost a decade between us, we’re on similar wavelengths. We share the same taste in movies, argue playfully over music, and even read similar books. Conversation is consistently effortless, which surprises me because it feels like I’ve known him for years.
Additionally, the chemistry between us -regardless of whether I’m big or little- is hot as fuck. We still haven’t gone beyond hand jobs (he’s determined not to rush our relationship, especially while I’m still learning how to be myself in all headspaces) but his cuddles and kisses are the thing of dreams.
And his brother is a hoot.
Most evenings, Josh drops by for dinner and lets me ask him my newest round of little questions. He’s become my best friend next to Charlie, and I honestly can’t imagine not having either of them in my life, even though a week ago they’d been complete strangers to me.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Josh prods from beside me.
We’re both sitting on our stools at the kitchen island, each of us coloring in while Da…Charliemakes dinner. Tonight, Josh is more playful than usual, and I’m starting to realize through the haze of my own little space that he’s as little as I’ve ever seen him.
I tear up a bit because this is my first ever playdate with another little.
“Chaaaaaarlie,” Josh sounds horrified, “Ash iscrying.”
Da…Charlie’sin front of me in a second, all warm blue eyes and concern. His big hand is rubbing circles on my back and it feels so right andsosatisfying: like a final puzzle piece clicking into place. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
I beam back at him, hoping that he understands that these are happy tears. “Josh is little,” I explain, finding it hard to express myself in this headspace, “he’s my friend and he’s little like me.”
“Oh,” I watch the smile spread across Charlie’s face and I clap my hands, because, yeah, he gets it. Plus, I get a thrill from making him happy. “Yeah, he’s little today.” He ruffles my hair. “You like having a friend to play with, huh?”
I nod excitedly. “Yup! My first playdate.”
His expression turns all mushy and words I’m definitely not prepared to say dance on the tip of my tongue. It’s only been a week, but I’m pretty sure I am falling hard for this man. This flawless man, with his sexy as sin body, and the uniform that plays right into a whole different set of kinks for me, and his perfectDaddy-ness. How can I feel so much so quickly?
The blogs I’ve read all say that BDSM relationships tend to speed ahead more quickly than traditional ones, but this feels like a bullet train. Charlie has given me everything I’ve ever dreamed of and then some, and it’s only been a week. What more is there to come? Has everything peaked? Will things go downhill from here?
With how good this has felt, I can’t help but feel like I need to steel myself for the inevitable crash.
But while I’m in my little space, I don’t really feel those worries. All I know is I’m happy and carefree, and I have a little friend, and anawesomeDaddy.
An awesome Daddy who is staring at me with wide eyes that shine suspiciously.
My confusion at Charlie’s stunned expression must show, because Josh giggles and nudges me again. “You called him Daddy and broke him.”
Oh. Oops.
I aim for my most cherubic smile. “Sorry, Daddy.”Damn it. “I mean, Charlie.”
Charlie laughs a watery laugh and wraps me in one of his soul-warming hugs. “I’m happy to be your Daddy, little lamb.”
And oh.Oh. Little lamb. That’s new. That’s new and I love it. But I’m too little to explain just how much.
