Page 40 of Asher's Answer
“Ash, baby,” Charlie reaches for me, tugging me onto the bed at his side and I go willingly, needing the comfort, “I’m proud of you for safe wording.”
“It’s so stupid,” I mutter. “You were being sexy. It wasn’t evenmewho would have been caught doing something naughty.” But I would have been a party to it. My stomach is still churning with discomfort.
“You were uncomfortable and I pushed the envelope. I’m sorry.”
He’s full of remorse and I hate that, too.
“This is why safe words exist,” I relax into his side. “You were being playful and it’s not like you were asking me to get naked or fuck you or anything. But…the whole idea of getting caught doing anything sexual…it’s a trigger for me.” And not one we’ve had any reason to discuss. Well, not until now. But instead of explaining why, I acknowledge, “I safe worded and you stopped straight away. That means everything to me, Charlie.”
“Nobody in the lifestyle worth their salt wouldn’t,” he refutes gently, and I nod. But he continues, “And nevereverfeel guilty for safe wording. Never. It’s not a weakness. The whole point of the games we play is that we enjoy ourselves. If one of us isn’t into it -especiallyif it’s making one of us uncomfortable- stopping is theonlyoption.”
“Okay,” I answer quietly.
After another moment, Charlie cuddles me a little bit tighter and kisses the top of my head. “You don’t need to explain why you safe worded, either. I mean, as your boyfriend and Daddy, I want to know so I don’t accidentally trigger you in other ways, but it’s your prerogative whether you want to tell me or not.” His hand shifts from my side, sliding up over my bicep and into my hair. “But I know now that public displays of indecency for either of us are definitely a no-go.”
“Yeah…I didn’t think it would make me feel like it did, to be honest,” I tell him with a shrug. “I just…it reminded me of the way I accidentally outed myself to my dad.”
Charlie stiffens. Considering he knows that the man kicked me out of home for buying myself diapers, he knows the story doesn’t end well.
I pick at a loose threat in the blanket on Charlie’s stomach. “I was sixteen. He used to work late, so I invited Jack -my first boyfriend- over. We were making out on the couch and I didn’t hear Dad’s truck pull into the driveway.”
Even now, my heart thuds painfully with the memory of the door opening, of the screaming, of the way he threatened Jack and the fact that Jack never even looked at me again after that. The names Dad called me. The slap to my face. The threats of what would happen if he ever caught me with a boy again.
Haltingly, I tell Charlie all of it. I’m shaking a little by the end, but I haven’t cried. I refuse to ever cry over my father again.
“Jesus,” Charlie exhales, holding me tight. Instead of reiterating his thoughts that my father is an asshole -which I know he thinks, and I wholeheartedly agree with him- he gives me exactly what I need. He lightens the mood. “And here I thought having my Mom sit me and my first boyfriend down at the kitchen table, handing us condoms and lube and talking about the best positions for first-time anal penetration was traumatizing.”
Laughter bursts out of me and I’m cackling so hard I can barely breathe. As I finally calm down, wiping tears from my eyes, I manage, “I want to say ‘she didn’t?!’ but, having met your mom…yeah, I can totally imagine that.”
“Oh, she did. But it was better than the time she sat Maisy down to watch a birthing video,” Charlie shudders, “Maisy’sbirth, at that.”
“Oh my God.Why?”
“Let’s just say Mom’s brand of sexual education is…disturbing at best. Pretty sure Maisy abstained until college. Honestly, I can acknowledge that Mom pushes things too far sometimes. She means well, and I love her, but I can admit that it’s not okay to do the things she does.”
“She’s still a good person, and I like her.” Snuggling against him and determined to get him to smile again, I follow my assessment with a demand to hear more of the ludicrous stories from his youth and he indulges me like a good Daddy should.
Chapter Eighteen – Charlie
Ishouldn’t be surprised to find a billion people at home when I’m finally released from my sterile prison. Ted drove, because with my right leg out of action I can’t drive without clearance from my physical therapist. I sat in the back seat with Ash, who is being a real mother hen. I want to ask him which of us is the Daddy, but I’m letting him have this for now because I get it. He almost lost me. I suspect that when he’s little for me, he’s going to be clingy as fuck…and damn if that doesn’t warm and excite me in all the possible ways. I love it when he’s needy. It’s a thrill to feel wanted by my boy.
As I hobble up the front steps, relying on the handrail with Ash shouldering my bulk on the other side with his arm wrapped securely around my waist, I can hear the cacophony of voices from inside. If the cars lining my usually quiet suburban street hadn’t been a dead giveaway, this was.
“Did you invite the entire city?” I ask Ash when we reach the top of the front steps and he hands me my crutches.
“Nah,” he dismisses, “only, like, a quarter of it.”
I’m getting better with the crutches, I have to admit it. Putting my weight on my left leg and swinging forward with my right, I make my way through the doorway and down the short hall from the little foyer. My family’s in the living area, and with a start I realize Ash’s toys are neatly tucked into the corner next to the couch, on display for everyone to see. Hell, Josh is even sitting on the end of the couch, absentmindedly rolling one of Ash’s toy cars over his thigh. There’s no excuse for their existence -I don’t have any nieces or nephews and my friends don’t have kids- and I look back at Ash, gauging his reaction.
I’m surprised when he doesn’t even blink at the concept of our secret lives being outed. Or maybe he hasn’t made that connection yet?
At my arched eyebrow, he moves in close and says, “Your mom worked it out. She and your dad turned up here one night with a casserole…” he shrugs, like it’s no big deal. “I was in my pjs and playing with my water mat, and Ted couldn’t exactly turn them away.”
I’m going to get the whole story out of him later, but he doesn’t seem panicked or upset, so I’m going to just go with it. “Okay…”
“Ted kind of gave them the CliffsNotes version. They, uh, they know he’s also part of the lifestyle…” his cheeks burn. “Having to explain that, no, I’m not sleeping with youandTed was awkward.”
I laugh at that, and the sound catches my parents’ attention. Mom’s off the couch like lightning, rushing forward and wrapping her arms around my middle like a short, plump linebacker going in for a tackle.
