Page 31 of Matteo's Mettle
The three of us talk about it some more, with Cherie adding in her thoughts about the pros and cons of Q&A sessions open to all walks of the BDSM lifestyle verse niche sessions. It’s so good to see her putting her analytic mind and planning skills to work with such enthusiasm. I stow my observations away in my brain, but once the center is up and running, I make a note to suggest that she ask Charlie for a job there. She’d enjoy it a hell of a lot more than working for her piece of shit politician guy.
“Mommy,” Kate interrupts the conversation a little while later, jiggling in a tell-tale way that has me hiding my smile behind my hand, “I’ve gotta go potty.”
I give Cherie and Kate directions to the bathroom and catch the curious expression on Matt’s face before he schools it.
I make another mental note to discuss that with him later. For now, I’m content to let him enjoy his playdate.
Chapter Eleven – Matteo
“Today was the best day ever,” I declare long after our guests have left. I’m still coming out of little space, riding the wave of endorphins from a very successful playdate – the first I’ve had with my Daddy supervising me. It’s also the first I’ve ever hosted in my own home.
The whole experience seems to have cemented how real this all is, and I can’t help but think that even when I was with Trent, it was something I was missing.
Daddy’s lips curl upwards and he leans across the kitchen bench, where he’s currently cutting up veggies for a stir-fry, to kiss me chastely. “I’m glad, sweetheart.”
“Did you have fun with Ash’s Daddy and Katie’s Mommy?”
“I did,” his voice is filled with fond amusement. “It was good to see them getting along, too.”
“Mmm,” I agree, nodding. “Charlie added them to the group chat.”
London looks up from slicing a bell pepper, his eyes bright and happy. “That’s awesome. They don’t really get to socialize much.”
“I know,” my own face falls a little. “Katie’s a bit lonely, I think.” It’s something I can relate to. Not all that long ago, that loneliness was suffocating, and I had friends to talk to at the time. She seems a bit isolated and that tugs at my heartstrings. I know she and Cherie have London, and he’s wonderful, but bringing them in to our rag-tag group means giving them some additional emotional support, which is never a bad thing.
“I’m going to try and convince Cherie to work with Charlie, once his community center is up and running,” London tells me after a beat. “I’m sure Charlie would benefit from that, too.”
“And it would mean more regular hours and less stress for Cherie.”
It’s actually kind of genius. I can’t see Charlie having an issue with it, especially not now that she’s officially part of the group, even if she hasn’t met the other guys yet.
We continue to chat about the afternoon just gone, with London more than happy to let me give him a play-by-play of my activities. He doesn’t seem to mind, even though he was sitting in the same room for the entire experience and my stories aren’t exactly riveting. Nevertheless, he smiles and asks questions and I’m filled with warmth I’ve never really felt before.
“So,” he says when we’re at the dining table, steaming bowls of veggies, meat and rice in front of us, “I noticed that you seemedinterested-” he draws the word out carefully “-when Kate asked Cherie for help in the bathroom.” He picks up his fork and digs into his dish with a forced nonchalance that has me cocking my head. After he chews and swallows his first bite, he asks, “Wanna talk about that?”
No longer in little space, I take my own bite of the meal he just prepared, barely stifling a moan as the flavorsome sauce hits my tongue. It buys me some time to get my thoughts in order. “It’s, um, it’s not something I’ve ever done with a Daddy,” I eventually tell him.
“But you’d like to?” As usual, there’s zero judgment or expectation in his voice or on his handsome face. There’s also no hint of his interest, or disinterest, either. Still, without knowing where his thoughts are at, I’m uncomfortable discussing it.
I shrug. “Look, I’ve done the diaper wetting thing…”
“Matteo,” Daddy-voice comes out in force in response to my dismissive, vaguely defensive attitude. He softens when I look up and across the table at him. “We’re talking about two different situations. Sure, there’s an element of embarrassment and trust inherent in both, but asking Daddy to help you pee is different to being changed.”
I deflate. “I know,” I sigh. “I’m just…I’m aware that it’s a lot, you know? You’ve taken all of this-” I wave my hand around, trying to encapsulate the entire lifestyle “-in stride, but I’m worried that something like that is going to be too far out of your comfort zone. Too much, too fast.”
Setting his fork down, London frowns. “We have safe words, Matt. They’re not just for you. If I’m not comfortable, I’ll use them.”
“But…”
He sits back in his seat now, and I can tell I’ve offended him. “Don’t you trust me to be honest with you?” When I don’t refute the accusation immediately, hurt flashes across his face before his expression falls. “I see.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust that you’re being honest,” I rush to try and fix my faux pas, pushing my bowl aside so I can lean across the table and reach for his hand. He lets me take it in mine, which is a relief. “This is all going so quickly between us, and I guess I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’re kind of perfect, London. I don’t want to jeopardize what we have. And I’m…I’m afraid that if I push you too far…if I make you safe word…” I look down, my throat suddenly tight. I can’t even say it.
His hand squeezes mine. “You think that if I safe word, I won’t be as into you anymore.”
I tremble at the very suggestion but bob my head, still unable to look at him.
He lets out a breath and pulls his hand out from mine and my heart thuds hard in my chest. Then I hear his chair scraping back against the tile. I’m aware of him rounding the table and dropping into the seat beside me before he pulls me against him, holding me in a tight hug. “That’s not going to happen, sweetheart,” he murmurs, kissing the top of my head. “If I ask you to try something new and you safe word because it’s not working for you, would you think less of me for suggesting the experience?”
