Page 31 of Ted's Temerity
I can feel Ted tense beside me and I reach out to rub at the underside of his arm (which is holding the large box of pastries and doughnuts) to soothe him.
“Here,” chirps Ash helpfully, “I’ll take those.” Following through, he plucks the box of desserts out of Ted’s hands and bounces into the kitchen.
Charlie makes his way inside, his hand extended to shake mine before he looks at his best friend. There’s a brief, strained moment of silence between them before Charlie hauls Ted in for a manly hug, all back thumping and “I’ve missed you, man, how’ve you been?”s.
Ash and I share a relieved glance as the two men lapse into conversation from there. To be fair, it’s probably not the easy and effortless conversations they usually share, and I can still see tension in the way Ted holds his shoulders. But it’s a start.
“Come on,” Ash grabs my hand and starts leading me towards the other Littles in the gathering, “we’re thinking about getting changed and having a play-date.” He juts his chin at the duffel bag slung over my shoulder. “Is that your little stuff?”
I nod. “Yeah.” Now it’s my turn to feel nervous. I know Ted said nobody here will judge me for being into feminization, but…what if they do?
We’ve stopped in front of Kate and Matt, and Ash is leading the discussion on whether they’re interested in sneaking in some little time before dinner or not when Charlie’s brother, Josh, joins the party. His entrance is boisterous, and he, too, appears to have just let himself into the house. As he enters the room, he waves at the people gathered outside before making a beeline towards his brother-in-law.
“Thanks for the invite, Ash,” he says, ruffling the smaller man’s hair. Then he looks over the rest of us. “So, are we doing this? Getting our little on?”
“Where’s your stuff?” Ash asks him. “Or are you staying in what you’re wearing?”
He glances down at the white t-shirt and jeans combination he’s rocking and shrugs. “I’m easy.”
“There’s a joke in that,” Chance teases, happening to walk past us at that moment. Josh flips him off, and the other man grabs two beers from the fridge with a laugh before returning to the group of caregivers outside.
Ash rolls his eyes at the exchange, then looks Josh over again. “Suit yourself,” he says, then adds, “but I know I can’t really get into the right head space if I’m wearing my ‘big’ clothes.”
“I’ve got a spare set of clothes if you wanted to borrow an outfit,” Matt offers him. He’s a bit bulkier than Josh up top, but I’d guess they’re roughly around the same size.
Josh looks at Matt for a long moment, likely considering the offer, then smiles hesitantly. I don’t really know the guy, having only met him at Ash’s wedding, but from everything Ash has told me about him, such an expression seems almost out of place on his handsome face. “Thanks, Matt,” he says to the other buff little, “I’d like that.”
And, just like that, it seems to be decided that the play-date will start as soon as we’re all changed. Matt shyly seeks out London to take him to one of the guest rooms and dress him, and Katie drags her Mommy, Cherie, up the stairs after them to do the same. Charlie doesn’t need prompting, he just heads towards the stairs with Ash on his heels. This leaves me to consider whether I want to ask Ted to help me, or whether I should just head into the downstairs powder room to dress myself. It’s not like I need diapering or anything like the others.
Of course, I haven’t warned them about my dresses, either.
“Hey,” Josh’s voice startles me out of my thoughts. His brown eyes are concerned. “You okay?”
It’s in this moment that I realize that his brazen personality must be a façade, because, if memory serves correctly, the guy is a cop. And this serious, concerned manner he’s got going on right now? It’s genuine.
His voice is soft, and he reaches out a hand to squeeze my shoulder. “If you’re not up for this, we can grab drinks and go join the other guys.”
I’ve only met this guy once, but the way he so easily offers to sit out on little time to keep me company warms me unexpectedly. I smile and shake my head, even as Ted sidles up beside Josh, eyeing his hand on my shoulder with unspoken questions.
“Zeph?” Ted asks, his own concern more than obvious.
“I’m fine,” I reassure both men, leaning into Ted’s side when Josh releases his hold on my shoulder. Then I sigh and heft my bag up as I explain, “I didn’t get a chance to tell the others.”
“Tell the others what?” Josh asks, but he doesn’t sound demanding. Just curious. Still gentle and supportive.
It’s his tone and the open look on his face which ultimately convince me to admit, “I’m into feminization. I’m, uh, a femme little. Like, y’know, princess play and pretty dresses and…stuff.” I finish lamely.
A wide, bright smile splits his face. “Katie is going to lose her shit.” He claps his hands together. “Andthat means I don’t have to play dress-ups with her anymore!” He lunges forward, wrapping me in a bear hug. He stops shy of spinning me around in his joy. “You’re my hero!” When he sets me back down on the ground, he offers me a bashful smile. “I mean, dress-ups aren’t the worst, but they’re not my jam.”
I can’t help but think he’s sweet to have still gone along with it all this time for his friend. Ted was right: these are good people. I’m safe here.
I turn back to my Daddy, my worries alleviated. “Wanna help me get dressed?”
* * *
Despite knowing that Ted’s friends are good people and that I’m safe, I still clutch Ted’s hand tightly as we make our way back downstairs to rejoin the group. I’m wearing a dress which Ted bought me last week. It’s a very pale pink color, with a flared skirt that sits just above my knees, a fitted bodice, and spaghetti straps over my shoulders. It’s perfect and summery and I feel supremely feminine wearing it. The matching ballet flats I’m wearing complete the whole picture.
“It’s going to be fine, kitten,” Ted assures me, bringing my hand to his mouth and brushing his lips lightly over my knuckles. “I promise.”
