Page 34 of Ted's Temerity
Zephyr’s hand lands on my tense forearm. “What’s going on?” he asks softly, voicing the question I’m certain is on everyone’s minds by now. But, instead of acknowledging the question, I cringe in my best friend’s direction, wishing he hadn’t pushed the issue.
“Damn it, Charlie,” I growl the words I thought only moments ago, shaking my head, “you couldn’t have left it?” I run a hand through my hair, my eyes still not leaving his. “I genuinely wasn’t offended, by the way. You could have just taken my word for it.”
His reply is laden with sarcasm, “I’m sorry for thinking about your feelings.”
“I told you-”
His scoff cuts me off. “Yeah, well, maybe…” I watch him trail off, uneasy at the expression that crosses his face. His shoulders slump with resignation and a little embarrassment. “Maybe I was projecting.” He averts his gaze, gruffly adding, “Sorry.”
“A fine time to have that realization,” I grumble, then sigh, silently cursing the fact that my best friend is so damn empathetic and cursing myself for avoiding properly talking the whole thing out with him when I had the chance.
“Ted…” With Charlie’s own temper deflated, there’s genuine remorse on his features and in his voice now.
I shake my head and say, “Don’t worry about it.”
What’s done is done. Besides, steeling myself for the fallout is more important than listening to him apologize for…what, exactly? Caring too much? Can I honestly hold that against him?
Awkward silence descends before Maisy demands, “No, seriously, what the hell is going on with you two?” She flicks a perfectly manicured nail between me and Charlie, before her attention swings back to her older brother properly. Her long, pretty face contorts as she narrows her eyes at him. She seems concerned beneath her snark now, her worry for her older brother overriding her frustration. “Projecting what, exactly? Did you actually knock someone up in high school?”
Down the table, Josh chokes on his drink at her question, and I sigh.
“No,” I answer on Charlie’s behalf, rolling my eyes because even I know that he came out in his mid-teens. I don’t stop to think, I don’t take a breath, and I certainly don’t look at anyone other than Maisy when I tell her, “Idid.”
Chapter Fourteen – Zephyr
The drive back to Ted’s place is more strained than the drive to Charlie’s was. I have no idea what to say after the bombs he dropped over that disastrous dinner. Guilt roils my belly, because the whole reason we even went there tonight was because Ash and I wanted to get our Daddies to clear the air.
Mission accomplished, my snarky inner voice sasses me.
Not. Helping.
I shift uncomfortably in my seat, trying to expel the memory of Ted’s stony expression as he laid the whole story out for his friends and I before he carefully pushed back his chair and walked away from the table, barely sparing a glance behind him to see if I was following.
Of course I was following. I think the entire group wanted to follow him, but they seemed to know better. They stayed silent as we left the impromptu party, holding their burning questions behind eyes that burned with shock and concern. I managed to cast Ash a loaded glance, promising to talk soon without exchanging words, before chasing Ted down the front pathway towards his car, my mind reeling.
To think that Ted’s been dealing with his loss and his grief alone for his entire life is heartbreaking. He did his best to assure us that he’s got support. There are groups for parents who have lost their children, and he still sees a therapist on a monthly basis, but I can’t stop thinking about how hard it must have been to keep such a monumental part of his life to himself. To not slip up and mention his kid once in all the years he’s known the guys.The effort of that alone… I bite my lip at the thought.
“Did you want me to drop you off at your place?” Ted’s voice startles me out of my thoughts before the question can register in my brain.
“Wait…what?” I give my head a little shake, frowning at him. He’s staring resolutely at the road, his knuckles white as he grips the wheel tighter than need demands. “My place?”
It doesn’t compute. It’s a Saturday night. Ialwaysspend Saturdays at his place. We have pancakes for breakfast on Sundays and…oh. Is this Ted telling me that he doesn’t want that now? Because Ash and I wanted to help and some comedy of errors had him spilling his tragic life story to his friends? I can’t help but feel a bit of indignant rage well up within me, smothering the guilt I was feeling only minutes ago, despite some reasonable part of me knowing that he has every right to be upset with the role I played in this.
Ted’s shoulders lift and drop, but he remains tight-lipped. I can see his jaw is tense, too.
“You don’t want me to stay tonight?” I had hoped to keep my voice firm and strong, defiant in the face of his sour mood, but even I catch the wobble to it when the words leave my lips.
His Adam’s apple bobs, but he doesn’t turn his head to look at me, still feigning focus on the road. “I…” he trails off.
His reticence to answer gives me hope. If he really didn’t want me to stay with him, he would have said as much.
Some of my anger fades as rapidly as it built, and I start to think rationally again, observing Ted closely.
I mightn’t have known him long, but considering the nature of our relationship, I like to think I know him well now. And, on close inspection, I can see that my Daddy is tired. Stressed. Upset. But he’s a proud man. An insanely independent man. And I’m his boy. Asking anything of me, especially something as huge as sticking around to support him through something tough, has got to be difficult for him.
For all his talk about open communication and honesty, this has been a blow to him. I don’t feel like he’s misled me in any way, but for his carefully hidden secrets (which I never assumed a right to know) to have come out the way they did will have hurt his pride and opened a wound that he was convinced was scarred over.
Then another revelation hits me.
