Page 35 of Spencer's Satisfaction
But, as I grudgingly roll over and attempt to get up, the padding of my diaper, which is substantially less pleasant seeing as I left my cum drying inside as I fell asleep, reminds me of its existence.
In the dark, I blush and wonder if I’m honestly considering going all the way and relieving myself in it.
I mean, you already soiled it with cum. It’s not like you weren’t going to throw it out anyway…
I’m alone. There’s nobody to witness this. If it feels too weird, I never have to do it again and I can just tell Spencer it’s a hard limit. No harm no foul. There’s no shame in trying, right?
And, seeing as it’s just me here and I’m being honest with myself, I bought wipes for this very reason. I was always going to try it when the opportunity presented itself, just to know if it’s something I would be willing to try with Daddy.
Jumping in with both feet, remember? None of this step-by-step stuff. Go big or go home.
Yada yada yada.
Just be a big little boy and pee already.
I lie back, despite my instincts demanding I get my ass out of bed and to the bathroom ASAP, and try to relax and not squirm too much.
It doesn’t come immediately. I was potty trained at three-years-old and can’t remember the last time I had an accident, but it was most certainly before I reached double digits. Deliberately undermining that training feels inherently wrong.
But eventually my body’s valiant attempts to hold my bladder back fail. I whimper as the first squirts into the padding escape me. They’re simultaneously mortifying and a release. When the diaper holds, the rest of me finally relaxes and I’m suddenly letting go with a sigh.
It feels naughty. A bit dirty, but…unexpectedly satisfying. It is bizarrely liberating and it does, for the briefest moment, make me feel little, innocent, and helpless, but in a strangely enjoyable way.
The diaper swells under the deluge, the absorbent padding inside doing its job well. There’s warmth surrounding me now, and, because I’m on my back, I can feel the liquid trickling over my balls and down my crack, making me squirm with discomfort, scrunching my nose up against the feeling until the padding beneath my ass soaks it up.
Once I’m finished, I bite my lip and reach down, curiously investigating the filled material. It’s squishy, warm, and kind of addictive to prod and squeeze.
Let it not be said that I don’t have a sensory fixation.
In fact, that’s something I wouldn’t mind exploring one day…but I’m getting ahead of myself again.
I’m suddenly overcome by the urge to call Spencer and tell him about this whole new discovery, but it’s the middle of the night and I have enough impulse control now to know that would be dumb. Besides, exactly how would that call go? ‘Hi, Spence, I just deliberately wet myself?’ ‘Oh, good job, now who’s going to clean that up?’
Ugh. I didn’t really thinkthatpart through. I mean, yeah, I bought myself some wipes, but I can’t lay myself out on my bed like I did when I put the thing on. What if it leaks, or I drip, or…something? And I’m not attempting it standing up in the middle of my carpeted room for the same reason.
So this means I’m going to have to head into the bathroom after all, and awkwardly take it off and clean myself in there. I shudder at the thought of leaving my nice warm cocoon in exchange for cold tiles and a mildewed ceiling.
Having Daddy lie me down and take care of me soundsmuchmore pleasant.
However, I am not calling him over in the middle of the night to change a sodden diaper.
A sodden diaper which, now that it’s cooling, is heavy and uncomfortable and damp.
Forcing myself out of bed and cringing at how gross it feels now, I discover walking in it is also an experience. A nowhere near as pleasant experience as wearing it dry. But, curiously, having it wet makes me feel like I’m sinking back into little space again, compounded by feeling it sag as I attempt to waddle my way across my room.
I fight against that instinct to be little again, knowing that I need to get changed now before the risk of Tanya catching me increases. I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my new discoveries from her a secret forever, but I’m still not willing to discuss it any time soon.
While I’m wiping myself down, I still can’t shake the thought that I enjoyed this whole experience more than I anticipated…and I really want my Daddy.
Chapter Thirteen – Spencer
“So, you’ve been exploring your little side?” I prompt my cute date.
We’re snuggled up on my couch, with Frank draped over Tony’s lap like he lives there now, and are just enjoying each other’s company. We’ve had a nice, non-eventful dinner and have caught up on each other’s past few days, and now feels like the right time to bring this topic up.
“Yeah…” he answers slowly, like he’s considering how much he wants to divulge at this point.
I give him a little squeeze around his shoulders. “We’re taking this at your pace,” I remind him quietly. “If you’re not ready to-”
