Page 36 of Spencer's Satisfaction
“It turns out Little Me is really good with the diapers.” He blurts, cutting me off. “Like, um,reallycomfortable with them.”
“Like they excite you, or-”
“Well, yeah,that, but…” he clears his throat and shifts around a bit. “The wetting thing is, uh, well it’s…a thing.”
This news does surprise me. He hadn’t sounded at all interested in infantilization when we first discussed Daddy/boy play and it’s not something I need out of a relationship, so I never pushed. I know he sounded like he was getting off on the idea of coming in his diaper, but actively using them to pee is a big leap from there. Especially for someone so easily embarrassed.
“Yeah?” I ask, gently prodding for more information. “What kind ofthing? Like…watersports, or-”
“No! God no! I’m not into the pee itself.” Tony twists around so that he’s looking at me, and Frank makes a sound of protest that we both ignore. With bright red cheeks, Tony explains, “It makes me feel properly little. I don’t know why, it just does. And I like that.”
Rubbing my hand over his arm in a placating gesture, I do my best to reassure him that it’s not an issue. “There aren’t any rules on how you enjoy your kink, sweetheart.”
“Yeah, but this is something that impacts you. Like,” he pitches his voice lower, even though we’re the only ones here, “changing me and stuff.”
I kind of love that he’s got this whole personality contrast going on. He’s so confident about exploring this new side of himself, but so awkward and shy when it comes to discussing it.
“And if I had an issue with it, I’d say so. Or I’d safe word,” I answer matter-of-factly.
“But…”
“But?” I prompt when he trails off.
He licks his lips and looks down at Frank, gently carding his fingers over the soft, black fur of Frank’s side. The cat lets out a little trill of appreciation.
“If you’re not comfortable-” I start again.
“I was big the first time I…y’know.”
“Wet?”
He nods.
“Okay…”
“And it felt kinda’ satisfying? But it was the after effect that made me feel like I wanted to be little again. So I, um, I thought I should try it while I was little. And I did.”
“And you said you liked that.”
“Yeah. And I left it, ‘cos it made me go deeper and then…” His cheeks look hot to the touch now and he squirms in his seat.
“Then?”
After swallowing roughly, he takes a deep breath and confesses, “I didn’t even realize I’d goneagainuntil it got really uncomfortable. Like…I had no idea. I was happily playing and then I was, well, y’know.”
I won’t point out how cute I think it is that he can’t bring himself to say ‘wetting’ or ‘peeing’. I want him to be comfortable talking to me about this. But, damn, he’s too sweet for words sometimes.
Shifting again, he keeps talking, “And I liked that I had zero control, you know? I felt completely free. There was no stress. No worries. Well, not until…” He stops himself short and bites his lip.
Now I frown, not liking that something about the experience upset him. “What?”
“Not until I realized I had to deal with it on my own.” His voice is so small as he makes this confession.
My heart hurts. I cuddle him closer, kissing the top of his head. “You wanted your Daddy. You were little and uncomfortable.”
“Yeah. But…uh,” he scrunches his nose, “I didn’t know it would be like that, so I didn’t see anything wrong with trying it out on my own. Just in case I didn’t like it, or I was too embarrassed, or whatever. But,” he exhales heavily and meets my gaze again, “it was a rough transition back into being big, and without any aftercare, so I won’t do it alone again. But I also get if it’s something you’d rather not be a part of our relationship as Daddy and Boy when we play together.”
Admittedly, Charlie’s the Daddy who really gets a kick out of change time. He has a spiel about it. We’ve all had to hear it. But I don’t mind changing diapers, wet or dry, and if it’s something that helps my boy properly enjoy his little time, then it’s important to me. So I’m honest and this is exactly what I tell Tony.
