Page 48 of Spencer's Satisfaction
She laughs and pats my shoulder gently. “You’re practically radiating ‘helicopter Daddy’ vibes, Spence. It’s cute, but unnecessary around us. You know that, too, right?”
“Yeah,” I answer on a sigh, then turn my attention back out to the roughhousing Littles. “But Tony is…he’s…” I struggle to find the words and am reminded immediately of my first meeting with Tanya. Of the way she’d called him ‘special’ and ‘sensitive’, as though they were bad qualities. I don’t want to focus on his differences, or his anxieties about them, so I finish with, “been through a lot, and I’m protective. Sue me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Cherie assures me gently. “But we’re your friends, Spence. This,” she gestures widely around Ted’s backyard, “is a safe space. For himandfor you.”
I blink, unexpectedly overwhelmed. “I know that. I love you guys. I’m just…”
“You’re still in the early stages of your relationship,” Ted cuts in, sidling up to Cherie and me as he hands us each a can of pop, “and he’s new to the lifestyle, and to relationships in general.”
“Exactly,” I agree, then frown at him. “Wait. How’d you know that?”
Neither Tony nor I have said anything about his previous relationships, or lack thereof.
Ted shrugs and takes a sip from his beer. He’s not driving, so he’s still imbibing. “I’m good at reading people,” he says.
“He overheard Tony telling Zee and Ash that you’re his first boyfriend,” Matt says as he also walks over to join our conversation. He looks out towards the lawn and sighs.
“Why aren’t you out there rolling around with the others?” I ask him, ignoring Ted’s complaints that Matt spoilt his fun while simultaneously musing over how comfortable Tony must have felt to make such a confession. I know his relative inexperience is something he’s still embarrassed about, even though I’ve tried to convince him there’s no reason to feel that way.
The bigger, tattooed man looks down at his feet and admits, “I’m not really so great with the tackling and stuff. Running? Sure, no problem. But getting up from the ground is…an effort.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” London’s at Matt’s side in a heartbeat, rubbing the small of his back. They really do make a striking pair, these tall, burly men. “I’m sure they’ll exhaust themselves and will want to play something a little less physically taxing soon.”
“Yeah, Katie’s not loving climbing back to her feet either,” Cherie adds, gesturing to where her girl is proving our point, complaining loudly as she rolls to her knees and then pushes back to her feet from the grass.
“My fat ass can’t take much more of this!” Katie yells at the others once she’s up and swatting at grass stains on her curvy jean-covered backside, thighs, and knees.
“Katie,” Cherie reprimands from the sidelines we have formed, “language. And you know how I feel aboutthat‘f’ word.”
“Sorry, Mommy.” Kate wields her big, brown eyes and rounded cheeks to her advantage and we all chuckle as Cherie melts for her wife.
“Keep playing, babe.” Cherie turns back to us, her cheeks flushing pink. “Shut up. I know I’m a pushover.”
“We all are,” London bumps his shoulder into hers. Then he turns back to me. “So. First boyfriend, huh? Does that mean first-”
“That’s not for me to say,” I cut him off, shaking my head. “You heard him, though: he had a rough start to adulthood. And he’s quite introverted.”
A loud squeal from my boy undermines my argument, as does the ensuing battle cry as we turn to watch him tear after Ash, declaring his intent to bring the other Little down.
London laughs. “Yeah,” he says with liberal sarcasm. “He seemsrealintroverted right now.”
I watch, transfixed as Tony continues to play loudly with the others. His inhibitions seem to have vanished and I can’t quite describe how it makes me feel. Elated, obviously. He’s comfortable with my friends and is finding his footing with people like him. But it also makes me a little sad, too. Because I’ve never seen him like this before. Even when we’re alone, he’s still somewhat shy and reserved.
I want him to feel free to be himselfallthe time.
“Don’t stress over it,” London instructs quietly, and I don’t need to ask how he knows what I’m thinking. Even though he’s newer to the lifestyle than the other Daddies in our group, and younger as well, he’s mature beyond his age and extremely perceptive. And my face has always been expressive. “The more time he spends experimenting with his little headspace, the more he’ll come out of his shell. Right now,” he gestures to where Tony has finally caught his prey and is now spinning on his heel to race in the opposite direction, shrieking with glee, “he’s got the buffer of other Littles around him. When it’s him on his own, he’s probably less sure of how to act.”
My eyes follow the pack of Littles and my heart picks up pace at the unadulterated joy on Tony’s face. I swallow. “He needs more of this, then. More chance to see that his instincts are normal.”
“Which he can come to the Center for,” Cherie reiterates playfully, unable to let the opportunity escape her, and I groan.
“Or,” Ted laughs, “we get together more often. It doesn’t have to be the whole group – I know Zeph would love to have a new playmate visit every now and again.”
Zephyr’s closer to a Middle than a Little, but I appreciate the offer and tell Ted we’d love to come for a playdate.
Matt clears his throat and says, “I’d like that, too. I mean, Tony seems, uh,littlerthan Zephyr. It might be good for him to see diapers and toddler play normalized, too.”
Charlie, Josh, and Chance finally wander over from whatever conversation they’d been having quietly around the corner of Ted’s outdoor dining table. They’d waved us off earlier citing ‘Center business’, but I can’t say I’m not curious about the secrecy. I’ll wheedle it out of Chance later.
