Page 13 of Chance's Choice
I stumble backwards at the unexpected press of his lips to mine. The almost feverish way he’s clinging to me and kissing me. With my knees hitting the edge of the bed, I drop my ass down to the mattress, pulling him with me until he’s straddling my lap and my hands are gripping his undulating hips.
We make out like horny teenagers for longer than I care to admit, before I tear my mouth from his with reluctance. Breathing heavily, I chuckle, “Well, that escalated quickly.”
Kade’s cheeks are flushed pink and his lips are swollen from our efforts. There’s a hint of beard rash around his mouth which I refuse to feel guilty for. He’s disheveled, his blue eyes blown wide with lust and surprise, likely at his own actions. He’s hot as fuck, and it takes every bit of willpower I possess to not dive in for another kiss.
“I…” he begins and then stops, casting his gaze away. “Sorry.”
“Hey, no,” gently holding his chin between my thumb and index finger, I turn him back to face me. “That was unexpected, yeah, but welcome.” Didn’t I tell him earlier that I thought I was in love with him way back when? And he knows I’ve promised to forgive and forget. Plus, we’re both single, consenting adults now, with compatible kinks, even if he hasn’t yet explored his interests outside of a club setting. Why should this new development be a problem? “That was eighteen-year-old me’s fantasy brought to life.” I clear my throat and shift uncomfortably, ignoring my throbbing cock. “And, not gonna lie, thirty-eight-year-old me enjoyed it, too.”
The corner of his lip twitches, but he turns adorably shy. I find that more amusing than anything, considering just how fiery and flamboyant he used to be.
Perhaps the shyness is indicative of his Little side? Or a new development of twenty years spent in self-enforced solitude. Either way, it’s adorable.
“Why’d you kiss me, Kade?” I ask him softly, smoothing my hands up his sides in what I hope is a comforting gesture.
He nibbles his bottom lip and shrugs.
“Kaden,” Daddy voice proves effective, if the way he straightens up is anything to go by, and I fight the urge to smile. “An actual answer, please.”
“I…” he works his jaw, then seems to give himself some sort of internal talking to, because the next thing I know, Kade is lifting his chin defiantly and his blue eyes are blazing with the confidence I recall from our youth. It makes my stomach flip, even if I have enjoyed seeing him softer and more vulnerable. “I wanted to. You were telling me to let people in and put myself first, or whatever, and so I did. Put myself first.”
I don’t correct him or tell him that I hadn’t actually told him to put himself first, because I was about to do just that before his kiss distracted me. Instead, I grin back at him. “Kissing me is putting yourself first?” He’s still straddling my lap and if he doesn’t have a problem with it, neither do I.
Kade rolls his eyes and shoves at my shoulders lightly. “As if you didn’t know I’ve wanted to do that since we were fifteen. Maybe even before that.”
I didn’t know that.
I try not to let my face fall. Try not to tell him that if he’d just said something when I came out to him, the last twenty years might have been different. I’ve promised us both that the past is behind us. But damn if those words don’t bring up a little pang of regret again.
Determined not to let the jovial mood between us slip away, I muster a laugh. “We would have disappointed each other back then. Two virginal, closeted boys with no idea what we were doing. Could you imagine?”
He makes a face. “Yeah. Okay. Fair point. My first time was…memorable for all the wrong reasons.” He shudders. “It’s how I found age play, actually.”
My hands tighten on his hips again. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. After the disaster that was my first time with some guy my age with about as much knowledge and experience as me, I decided I needed to find older men. More experienced men. Men who could look after me and make it good for me, you know?”
I nod, trying not to feel jealous. It’s not like I’ve spent the last two decades a monk, either.
“So I started Googling how to meet men like that,” Kade’s cheeks redden again. “The word ‘Daddy’ kept popping up. At first I was just curious about finding a Daddy without the age play. But the more I read about regressing, the more interested I was in trying it. So,” he pauses, “then I found a munch and, after talking about it with some Daddies and Littles, I figured what the hell. I arranged my first scenes and never looked back.” He stares past me, his expression wistful. “It was great stress relief. The spankings in particular helped me to deal with…everything. So, any time I got too overwhelmed, I’d head to my local BDSM club and find a Daddy to spank me and, if the mood struck, get off with.”
It’s a lot to take in, and I resolutely try not think about him meeting Emmett at The Grove for either of those purposes. I like Emmett. But damn if a simmering, albeit irrational jealousy doesn’t tingle in my veins for a brief moment.
I am not that person, I tell myself, shaking the momentary feeling off.Jealousy is not an attractive trait. Besides, it’s not like I’ve been a monk over the last twenty years, either.
My irrational thoughts now settled, I think about what Kade hasn’t said. “So you’ve never reallyplayed, then? Never given in to the little boy inside you and just…” I roll my wrist, searching for the right words, “been silly?”
“I didn’t deserve those kinds of scenes,” his answer is swift and heartbreaking.
“Oh, Kade, of course you did. Youdo.” We’re going around in circles now, but I can’t help trying to convince him that he’s worthy of so much more than just punishment scenes. Because that’s what I’ve inferred from his vague story: he’s using punishment scenes to deal with his guilt. He’s not enjoying himself. Not really. I nuzzle his nose with mine. “If you could try anything -any kind of scene at all- just for fun, what would it be?”
“Anything?”
I nod. “Anything.”
He’s silent for a bit, then his answer throws me for yet another loop.
“I’m curious about puppy play.”
