Page 52 of Chance's Choice
I nod, because these are the same conclusions I was coming to. “Well, if anyone can get him to talk, it’s you and Ash. Or Matt.”
“Believe me, we’re all trying.”
“That’s all you can do.” I look back over and smile again at the sweet scene between my pup and Charlie’s brother. It hasn’t changed. “And if today is any indication, I think he’s starting to loosen up and reach out for our support.”
Charlie follows my line of sight and nods, but the concern furrowing his brow is palpable.
Needing to lighten the mood, I add, “He’ll be his bratty self again before you know it.”
Charlie groans, but he’s fighting a smile. “God help us all.”
* * *
Life falls into a relatively easy to manage pattern again after our first all-group playdate including Kade. He’s really embraced friendship with the guys better than I could have hoped, often arranging his own little catch ups with Ash and Matt, and surprisingly Josh. It turns out he and Josh are both NHL nuts (I prefer NFL), and they’ve even gone to attend a couple of games together.
But, for as happy as we are together, I can’t let go of what my dad did to him. What he threatened to do to me. Tous.
It festers in the back of my mind for weeks. Even while Kade’s freelancing really seems to take off, I’m still pissed as fuck that my dad pulled the rug out from underneath him the way he did. All to hurt me. Me – the son he hasn’t spoken to in twenty years.
The asshole can’t let go.
Then again, I can’t let go of this, either, so I guess it runs in the family or something.
Ugh. To think I’m anything like my old man makes me feel sick.
Despite Spence’s urging me to cowboy up and talk to Kade about it, I just can’t bring myself to do that. I know that communication is important, but this ismyhang-up, not his. And with everything else going so well for us, I don’t want to ruin things.
Especially when there’s nothing either of us can do to make the lingering anger and resentment go away. Or the ever-present fear that my dad will decide to share those photos after all, just to fuck with me, his own reputation be damned. Hell, for all I know, he could always play the victim: the poor old man with the perverted son.
“You’re dwelling again,” Spence says with a rueful twist of his lips before he sips at his milkshake. We’re currently sitting on one of the four picnic tables outside Tony’sBDSMfood truck at the back of The Grove, meeting for lunch while Kade’s off at yet another game with Josh.
I bite into my delicious burger to buy myself some time to compose my answer. I can’t even properly enjoy the decadence of the grease and salt and meaty-cheesy ooziness over my tongue because Spencer just arches an eyebrow, well aware of my tactic.
“You need to talk to Kade, man. This shit isn’t healthy.”
I groan and swallow. “I know, okay? But telling him isn’t going to do anything but make him worry about me.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Spencer huffs. “Dude,I’mworried about you right now. Something’s gotta give.”
“Yeah, well, what’s Kade going to be able to do about it anyway? He’s just going to feel guilty all over again and that’s not fair on him. He’shappynow. He’s building up his career on his own terms and things are good. I refuse to shit all over that by saying ‘hey, so, I’m still messed up over what my dad did to you’.”
Spence’s curly hair flops around as he tilts his head back and mutters, “Give me strength” to the sky. Then he takes a deep, steadying breath and looks back at me with a firm glare. “He’s your partner, Chance. You’d want to know if he was all ‘messed up’ about something, wouldn’t you? And don’t give me that crap about it being different because you’re his Daddy. You’re equals together.”
I hate it when he makes a valid point. Stupid, logical asshole.
I take another bite of my burger to spite him.
“Chance…”
“I know,” I mumble out through a mouthful of food, wanting to chuckle at the look of disgust on his face. Still, I finish my bite and wash it down with a slurp of Coke before I speak again. “You’re right. I just figured I’d get over it.”
“But you haven’t.”
I nod, conceding defeat. “But I haven’t.”
“So…” He prods, munching on a fry. “What are you going to do about it?”
God, he’ssucha Daddy. Even though I am too, he treats me like a boy. I can’t be bothered calling him on it, though. This is just who he is. He just cares a lot about everyone, and that’s really quite sweet. “Guess I’m going to have to talk to Kade, aren’t I?”
